Here’s to me for growing the **** up
I’ve realized that I was stuck in a fake friendship for years
From all the lies you told me and all the crap you’ve given me

I assumed you rarely told me your mistakes either because you thought I would be like you
The usual narcissist who pretends her life has always been perfect
Or you needed the power to control me and demean me if I ever burst

Here’s to cutting you off for good
You only needed me because you wanted me and you never tried to be the best for me
Here’s to your narcissism and the things I’ve done for you during my teenage and adult years as I gave more than what I got

Here’s to cutting you off for good.
Our relationship was merely full of love and of course, full of hate
Call me a fake yeah I knew that

I’m better off without you
Because I know that I can live without your support
Cause that’s exactly how I’ve been living

i understand if you want to cut me off
you hated my toxic habits
and I knew I had to change
and I’ve kept grudges

I never liked your narcissism
but we had a bond
we rarely see each other but the least I could hope for
was your support to help me emotionally.

I needed a friend.

I wish I could cut you off
I really do

When that song comes
I think of you
I think of those green eyes staring right back at me
I know you don’t like it when I talk about your eyes cause I know you want to be known as you and not with those eyes
I know that when you stared at the wall behind me
You think of her
The song was playing and you were thinking of her
And you told me you were sad
I asked why and you didn’t respond
Why did I even ask you that when I know the answer
Maybe this whole thing is an assumption so that I can get you out my mind
This isn’t poetry!
I keep thinking about how distant you got
I don’t want these feelings
I don’t want to care
I hate how much I randomly think of you cause texting you before we slept together was already a habit
A routine that you made me do
But I’m always reminded about what a genuine person you truly are
As the time goes by I’ve been diving into my responsibilities just to get
You
Out
Of
My
System.
This is why I press skip when the song starts playing on my Spotify

I’m a broken porcelain
Cracks around my cheeks
Trying and giving up all at once
My art is shattering
I’m losing my pieces  
Numbers in my head
My nicotine craving is fixed
And it feels like I’m stuck in the middle of my destiny

Tossing & turning towards the dying light
Tears on the pillow
Desperate calls were made
Empty words were shared

I tied a scarf around my neck
Pull it harder and let it go

People will talk
You're not worthy to live
That's what they all say

People will hate
You've no one to love
That's what they'll sing in your head

Nobody ever tells you
That you're a masterpiece the world needs
Nobody wants to tell you the truth.

It's my fault, daddy
I gave my all
I gave my soul
I wore my heart on my sleeve
I kissed the poison
The damage is done

wrote lists but my standards are drowning
my rules have disappeared
words from God turned to lust for desire
I am weaker and desperate