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 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
It's euphoric.
The way his fingers trace the straight
metal strings laid tightly over
the sunset wood instrument.
It's almost as tall as him
or maybe it's taller.
I remember the way his eyes would close:
Body slowly, subtlety, swaying.

You looked beautiful.
Extremely beautiful in all of your wild glory
and small-town fame.
I guess it’s sort of strange that
In all honestly,
I hated you.
I still don't fully appreciate your presence.
But watching you from the back rows
Of a high school auditorium,
From your hands coming forth a
Euphoric noise that seemed to coruscate
Atop the bodies sitting stiff in the audience.
Time always slowed down when you
Played.
But not my breath.
You made my breath rigid.
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
I do not know where I am from.
One-hundred and forty-seven hours of contemplation,
Yet still I am stuck in a strange situation.
Am I from the gold corn stocks
that build a wall around me?
Their weeping silk threads caught around my fingers, and
that strange fresh dirt smell that always lingers
in the depths of my sweater.
Am I from the constellations painted on my cheeks?
Their upsetting color like paint
splattered on a canvas in uneven spirals;
claiming rule over my pale round face.
Am I from John Lennon?
His weeping Guitar and yellow sunshine
shining into me in sweet melodic tunes.
Am I from Atlantic, Iowa?
Home of the trojans and simple
minded people who are yet to accept
Individuality.
Am I from a hateful world where black and white
Is the only thing we ever see?
Where body parts are to pave the path of one's
Destination.
Am I from a nation,
whose officials pledge vacation,
while those in need sit hungry, brazen, on the streets?
Where the only thing they feel is the hate
they’ve been tasting?


No.

I am from drawing patterns on the fogged over
emerald-tinted window glass.
From the shiny grey floor of a retro skate rink.
From the laces of black converse shoes; torn and *****.
I am from laughing as loud as I can
at midnight, 1am, two thirty.
But most of all,
I am from soul.
And from the one hundred classic rock songs we always sung.
I am from youth and aspiration.
I am from smoke curling through my hair.
And I...
I am from the chalk dust,
settled rosy pink in my lungs.
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
I want to inject sweet tangerine sunsets into my veins
and let the warmth fill my body
To spin Saturn's rings around my pinky
and dance hopscotch behind reality
My lungs painted pastel
In cancer and soft robin egg blue
I want to see the colors of psychedelic
Sound waves that crash guitar solos onto beaches
Systematically
Mostly I just want to be happy.
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
Sometimes I can't sleep.
Spidery shadows named Regret creep
Around myself, camouflaging with the night.
Nobody whispers sinful dark deeds into my ears;
No voices howl in echoing patterns.
It's just me.
And me alone.
Caught awake in the dead of the night.
It's kind of peculiar that they would call it that-
“The dead of the night”
Because it is actually quite alive.
As am I
For now.
What an interesting thought.
“Black like cigar ashes” thought.
Fornowfornowfornowfor-
Pills can taste like candy if you imagine hard enough.
sad depressed
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
Black mascara rivers flow down the highest peaks of glossy cheeks,
flowing in a downward spiral towards a pointed chin and protruding white collarbone.
As toxins billow out of her mouth, a narrow stream escapes her nose.
The cigarette smoke painting lungs in cancerous shades,
creating a soft smiled Mona Lisa on her throat.
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
Beautiful
is the auburn fire etched across fall
skyline- spiraling downward with every tantalizing shake
of the wind.
Every angel's breath sending dying wishing weeds
to fly across; under noses; tangled wildly in hair.
And when the pink sun kisses the horizon farewell.
Not with that of passion, but with mismatched lies,
as being soon she finds her way
to next ground far and even farther away.
It is the color of eyes.
Primary shades of astrological star hunted eloquence sewn together
sideways with whitewash prescription pills.
Beautiful is the way
cancer bleeds grey ribbons curled
around winter ravished lips.
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
The stars shine brighter than I've ever seen,
evergreen veins tangling ‘round the skyline-
the gravel dust like
breath of the travelers.
And turning around to face the world,
I saw a glimpse of the stairway
to heaven
painted black with the sins of those said wanderers.
Collected behind my eyes;
overflowing down my sullen cheeks,
is the sweetest emotion I've ever felt.
The bittersweet taste of nostalgia crawls
in anguish upon my tongue;
burning in such a way,
I only think of us.
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
Paintbrush; tarnished by tetanus and
rage. Clutching to the handle, so
Desperate, are hands of the most
beautiful kind.
Tainted so in the deepest shade of sin.

Fingertips to broken knuckles
to wrist- flick. Violet stains
canvas; pre-medicated strokes
dance shy upon.
Lips part; breathe resigns quiet within.

Every night spent tasting the sweet
poison of insomnia- tears
gone unseen- are replenished here.
Each stroke weeps
silent hymns of the saddest kinds to be.
Soft watercolor dreams drip down his chin.
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
Let's pretend I’m false realist living in a country house painted white-
-er than my skin. Taking one part milk two parts tea with my antipsychosis-
red or blue? It doesn't matter the color it's what’s inside. Cyanide or morphine? It could be either or neither but the color will never say. Shade has no lips to speak. Coffee- black- at noon.
Read the paper:
God Save The Queen! Why does god only save the Queen?
Perhaps my windows are stained glass portraits of F. Fitzgerald
and Rosa Parks. Another sip of coffee- black- as societal
issues sink my lungs in defeat, a horrendous ache in my
temples is reincarnated.
Glints of red window glass catch my attention from the corner of a
wandering eye- reminding me instantly that I’ve taken
the wrong pill.
 Sep 2018 Sadhippie
redruMAndTea
Before-
“Run! Come on their gonna catch us!”
We really messed up this time.
Whose idea was it to smash
the mailboxes? Deface the school
parking lot? Jesus Ch-
“Is that mom’s car?”
JESUS CHR-
“Nevermind.”

After-
“Three for seventy or five for seventy-five. Best deal in town.”
We really messed up this time.
Who forgot the lighter and
and cash? Where’s the hell
are the papers? What the f-
“Are these sugar?”
WHAT THE FU-
“Nevermind.”

Before-
“Shut up! He’s gonna see us!”
We really messed up this time.
Who thought throwing popcorn
at the cute movie theater boy
was a good idea” Oh sh-
“He’s looking over here!”
OH ****-
“Nevermind.”

After-
“***** tastes better straight.”
We really messed up this time.
Who bought Smirnoff? We
wanted UV. Where are the
shot glasses? Son of a-
“I think this stuff is expired…”
SON OF A B-
“Nevermind.”

Before-
“We had a test?!”
I really messed up this time.
When did we even take notes?
I don't remember the what
we even went over. God da-
“Yeah, he said its worth 20% of our grade.”
GOD DAM-
“Nevermind.”

After-
“What is going on?!”
We really messed up this time.
The room smells like substance.
Curtains closed- eyes closed.
Broken orange bottles- Bu-
“He took too many!”
Burn-
“He’s not waking up!”
Burno-
“Call someone!”
BURNOUT.



“Nevermind?”





Before-
“This is the best day of my life.”
We are okay this time.
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