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 Aug 2016 S M
cigarette daydreams
There is no fun when you’ve become numb;
maybe the pain is gone, but so is all lifelong.
And there is no thrill when life is standing still;
maybe you won’t get rushed, but you won’t get to see much.

You can wash the pain away
with tobacco or chardonnay;
or you can just let yourself decay,
you’re picking a poison anyway.

Oh mother moon, tell me what I want
so in my guilty pleasures I can rot.
I wish to be loved and I wish to be forgot,
but the reason I seek this is an unfamiliar thought.

'Cause when I stand still I’m the only thing alive,
breathing in the dead and empty  with everything I hide.
Observing the past and future: regretting, regretting.
And don’t ask me what my problem is
because I’ve got plenty.
 Aug 2016 S M
Roo
Falling
 Aug 2016 S M
Roo
I think I'm falling in love.
Not the cute and pretty kind,
but the mean and gritty type that
you worry is going to last too long.
Will I end up missing your face?
Watch it fade as those memories dim.
There's a reason it's called falling
and not floating nor gliding.

God, I hate falling in love.
Isn't it so peculiarly terrifying?
 Aug 2016 S M
Luka D
Little Cities
 Aug 2016 S M
Luka D
i grew up as the mayor
of a city i dug out of the dirt
around the jacaranda
in the schoolyard.
sometimes i’d collaborate with friends
and we’d build empires together.

but, mostly, we fought
over supplies and land;
we couldn’t stand it when
one had more than the others.
we flung seed pods as cannonballs,
shrapnel out of leaf litter,
even planned secret raids,
but the aggression only turned
our bright cities to dust.

the most valuable thing i’ve learned
since becoming an adult- perhaps
what separates me from that childhood-
is that the most devastating weapon
against feelings of inferiority
is verbal reason,
and that’s not to say aggression makes
us children, but
i think we all have little cities.
 Aug 2016 S M
S Ware
PMS
 Aug 2016 S M
S Ware
***
Uneasy
Deflecting affection
Perception twisted
Hearing loss born of fear of rejection
Where's the insurrection against the tyranny of my mind
Hormones lack kindness
Heading toward a black hole
Find a way out, doubt it
A slave to time while I lose my mind
Haven't mastered the Jedi ways that could slay the monster inside my head
Find relief in my love but
still can't rise above
Self defense is my strategy but usually ends in apology
When will it end?
When will it bend to my pleas?
How can I find peace?
Mind over matter doesn't matter to me
Great distance from healing
Caught up in the dark feeling
Relinquish my power
The enemy is fierce
I'm so weak
Hope hides in the shadows taunting me
Drowning in darkness
Constantly losing ground
The futility
Exhausted and beaten down
Temporary
No fight just calm when the darkness leaves
Down a long hall it waits for me
Not today but it will come again soon
Accept it, live with madness
No thanks, I'll drive it away eventually.
Loving You..unexpectedly

It all started with a hello
I never thought that it would grow
It was a one way street
Why did it reciprocate?

Foolish heart, foolish beat
Does it really have to be like it
So many questions raised inside my mind
It makes me troubled and blind

Tell me please, tell me now
I didn't dream of this somehow
Is it going to be just fine
Or is it gonna break my heart in time.
 Aug 2016 S M
MKF
I cannot keep watering dead flowers.
I cannot keep tangling with powers
Way beyond my ken.
I cannot keep hoping for more.
I cannot keep fighting this war
And losing all over again.

As much as I miss you, dear,
I cannot keep watering dead flowers,
Not even an IV can save them now.
Why I'm still trying is unclear,
But I've been giving CPR for hours,
Trying to save this somehow.

I cannot keep watering dead flowers.
I cannot keep tangling with powers
Way beyond my ken.
I cannot keep hoping for more.
I cannot keep fighting this war
And losing all over again.
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