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  Feb 2019 Rudderless Jack
Joliver
If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
"Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
"Okay"
Is off-brand raisin bran
"Okay"
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

"Okay"
Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

"Okay"
Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
"Okay"
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
"Okay"
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
"Okay"
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
"Okay"
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
"Okay"
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
"Okay"
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
"Okay"
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
"Okay"
Okay?
Rudderless Jack Feb 2019
I am a simple man,
A grey in the rainbow clan.
I cry when pinched and smile when winked.
I lay on the grass staring at the stars, into the earth I sink.

I lie, I try, and I wish to live while wanting to die.
On the edge of the cliff I sway, If I jump will I fly?
Clutch my safe while it distorts to danger
I turn around and through the pain, I meander.
Sometimes you feel you gain too little than you have lost. We try to see beyond the ruins of our lives and find solace in the little things that go unnoticed only to find a cliff, a dead end. You might feel tempted to end it all, an escape but that is the point when you clutch the little something you have and turn around for the better.
It is not ONLY you swaying at this cliff, lets all of us swayers hold hands and hold on tight till we sail through.

— The End —