She asked me the strongest drug I had ever done,
I responded with your name
Not MDMA, LSD, or *******.
You kept me up
Intense heartbeat, face red, cheeks flush
sweat pouring, teeth grinding, actions rushed…
Bursts of color invade my visual receptors,
the sights are fluid movements through the lens of a kaleidoscope.
Music takes command of my limbs, now I’m putty in your hands
You have your way and we dance.
Left, right.
Left and right. In and out.

Breathe.

I take another hit of you.
Chemical energy circulates my veins
chills crawl down my spine and ice overlay my lungs.
I know I can’t get much higher but I’m addicted to my sins.
I take another hit and breathe you in again.
My eyes start to wiggle and roll towards the back of my head,
I should’ve left a long time ago,
before you killed me and left me for dead.

Overdosed.

I have a hole in my life where my love should be.
Every time I meet someone they take from me when they leave.

I’m beginning to become fragile.

Had I known love would be this violent,
I never would’ve allowed my vessel to enter this war.
Too much has been lost building memories with the enemy and there is no way to return from the heartbreak of defeat.

I’m not weak, just broken.
My sails are tattered and weary,
the cannon in my chest was once able to fire at will but now its battered condition has rendered it almost useless because it’s so heavily guarded.

The darkness that surrounds my heart is a protector of sorts,
it’s a heavy blanket of fog that keeps me hidden from the sadness in the world. It’s a reminder of the blood that was shed when I went to battle with her;
it’s the cover I need to rebuild the hull and set sail to reclaim the depths of the oceans that belong to me.

I Captain this ship and I will not be overthrown by the hands of women and I will not be defeated by those who betrayed me!
I refuse to drown in sorrow,
searching for treasures and trinkets that can only be found on a map that no man can read.

I’ve taken heavy fire but I will not surrender.
My ears will not burn by the cry of a siren’s song.

I was sentenced to a life of moving through galaxies of resentment,
cursed to bear the punishment for crimes committed by those who came before me.

I will not be punished for another man’s sin.
I will no longer give in to temptations set in the figure of a dishonorable woman.
Evils will no longer forsake me.
I shall never falter.