People tend to ask too much of me
Because they know I am willing to give them everything I have

It's such an easy way to get mistreated, manipulated, and taken advantage of

But I will never stop giving all I have, especially to the people that deserve it and even to the people that don't

The happiness of others is way more important than any amount of money, time, or sleep

So let me pay for the little things you want
Let me be late to work so I can spend 10 minutes kissing you goodbye
And let me wake up to answer your phone calls at 4 am when you can't sleep

I will always cross oceans for the people I care about
Whether or not they would cross a puddle for me

I just hope that one day
Someone will return the favor

I feel it again
The sorrow, the emptiness
The dark cloud up above, lingering over head

Is it just a chemical imbalance
Is it sleep deprivation
Is it you

What is causing this
Why does it hurt
Why do I always come back to this feeling

I try to escape but it welcomes me back like an old friend
Like I am unable to go on without it
I don't want to be in it's grasp anymore

Is it loneliness
Is it guilt
Is it depression
Is it you

It can not be an addiction
That requires dependency
I do not depend on you for happiness
You just happen to be the only source of it at the moment

I have always been too passionate
I give everything my all, every ounce of my being
I'm either all in or all out
All or nothing
I feel every emotion too deeply that even after a day of complete happiness, I feel drained

It has come to the point where I feel all my emotions all at once or none at all
I suppose I have gotten so used to being numb,
Being completely emotionless,
That feeling again is overwhelming

I must be broken
Or wired wrong
Or insane

Why is it everyone else seems to have it under control
Have all their emotions and be able to live without shutting down

Why must I walk around like a zombie just to get through the day

Twenty two years and I've just been trying to survive
I suppose it's time, no matter how hard it will be,
To look life straight in the eye and say
*"Bring it"

CAUTION
He's a poet
His words will melt you like butter

CAUTION
He's kind
He'll treat you better than you've ever been treated before

CAUTION
He's easy to love
You'll have a lot of competition

CAUTION
He's brave
He'll make you feel so safe, you'll forget what fear feels like

CAUTION
He has a heart of gold
You won't consider his flaws as flaws. There's so much good, it will always outweigh the bad

CAUTION
He's a thief
He'll steal your heart without even trying


ABORT, ABORT*


Silly girl
I tried to warn you

I can't help comparing him to the holocaust

How he starved me from all affection, giving me small portions once in a while just to keep me alive

"You deserve this"

How his anger and hatred burned me like the fire in the crematory. The smoke spelling out all the hope I had

"*******"

How his vicious words were like poisonous gas seeping into my lungs and killing me slowly.

He had me gasping for air

"Shut the **** up"
Gasp
"You'd be **** if you lost weight"
Gasp
"You're such a *****"
Gasp
"You're so ******* worthless"
Gasp

I have my scars but
Somehow, I made it out alive
Somehow, I'm still breathing

It's only been a few days and I'm addicted to you like heroine.

I've never tried drugs but you are my fix.

21 blocks away. You were kept from me all this time.

So close, yet out of reach. Constantly wishing for someone like you.

1,086 Miles away. I found you

How is it I found my home, while I was so far away?

I've never thought of my body as a canvas
But if you're the artist, I'd gladly be your masterpiece
As long as you promise to draw in pen