So many people have lost their basic joy
There's this gloom that is the reset emotion

Show me you care* she said

Sometimes she wakes up and realizes the reality of her situation
Yet she falls back asleep, because it was more hopeful when she dreamt

How lovely is it to see someone burning
How nice is it to see the wanting in their eyes
How grand is it to see them yearning
How wonderful it must be to have someone
Crashing at your feet, but why?
How fantastical to pleasure the pain of need

As though the constellations in her eyes
Had connected the dots to my heart

I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time

Beautiful raindrops of happiness
Cloud the windshield of my mind
Why is it that I love not being able to *see

And every second I trip
And every second I don't land

I was literally so happy today

I'll stop writing about this
Why should I let you see
If it will only make you
Upset to look at poems
Some things I should just
Keep to myself

I'm tired of running
For once in my life
But I don't know what
I would do if I stopped
And I don't see any
Yield signs either

I don't know what's happening at all anymore
Actually I do know what's happening,
When I was sure I had it right, I was completely wrong
Everything is so different, and this sounds like ****
But every time I see you something else takes control

she and I had fleed around from each other for so long that finally we just got tangled up together and lay down

Things only get crazier
But at least they're clear

Worried eyes follow me down the hall
Concerned hearts beat to my own rhythm
Helpful hands gesture towards them
But I'm too scared and guilty to approach
I don't go home to slamming doors
I don't go home to screaming and crying
That's only some nights, very few at that
Yes he is harsh and hatful eyes. Cold
But it's nothing like they think it is
It's nothing

I hate to be cheesy or cliche
But...

Christmas trees
Old air conditioners
Musky airports
Nanna's house
Ski lodge's wood
Appalachian lavender
Lighting matches

Be with me here is this moment

I don't just want to have ***
But rather *make love

I either haven't met them
Won't meet them
Or am letting them slip
Through my fingers

Do you ever feel an invisible tug towards someone?

Look I only met the girl
But she inspired me so
How confidently hilarious
How beautifully goofy
This isn't an in love poem
But more as a general love
A love for this glow she has
She seems so bright with joy
And confident in everything
And I was confused at how
This girl could be so weird
But so pretty in my eyes
And I figured out that her beauty
Is her confidence

And she then asked me
'So, what is your story'
And I melted at those words
That my life is a storybook
That was interesting enough
For God to print and publish

There comes a moment when you want to write about something so beautiful
That it refuses to be transcribed into ink, and you're stuck with only memory

Well I fell in love with the world in you

The walls that were closing in
Have been smashed through
Now all I can see is the opening,
And it's time to get up and walk
Into the vast field of possibilities

She cut her hair
For one reason
With influence
From another

If I could pour my heart
anymore into these songs
I would bleed to death

Road trips with old cars
With ski racks and kayaks
Park and open the sunroof
And we can fall asleep
Gazing up at the stars,
Or at eachother, whichever
Who's up for a long escape?

Rain streaming  down me
Running over my skin
Part of this water  on me
Water that traveled from
The northern mountains
Water that was vapor clouds
Water that has seen more
Travelled the earth and sky  
Now on a girl standing in the rain

How many times
Will you knock down
The pitiful wall
Of self esteem that
Took so long to build
And how many times
Will this pillow
Soak my tears because
Of my own father

I was doing so much better
I was way more self confident
And now You had to
******* go there
And say the wig looks prettier
Than me. your own daughter
Laugh at me. Say Its awkward
Say it was a mistake
Say you feel bad for poor me
What do I have to do
To feel ******* pretty
What do I have to ******* do

Four special occasions
Four moments of this
Lasting for days each
Why is it that song
Why is it that person
Why this beautifully
Sickening feeling
Spreading across my
Body and waking me up
Why do these butterflies
Flutter up to my chest
And vaporize to haze
Swirling around my heart
Which would be beating
Fast, if I could feel it
Flutter numbing
Sweet intoxication
But only four special times

I want to be one of the two girls at the onerepublic concert
Holding hands as Christina Perry sings

I'm dancin' alone, I'm praying

Part of me is half awake in this world
Eyes wandering the classrooms and halls
My mind is hardly active in this world
And then, part of me roams my memory
Half of me is off trekking smoky mountains
I'm riding a ski lift up Mt Werner, snow.
It's autumn here in the Smokies, crisp
The leaves are vibrant reds and yellows
And a mountain stream trickles by
My feet go numb in the icy stream,
Here is where I pop off my skis to listen
To the sweet sound of alpine fir trees
Here is feeding the squirrels in Yosemite
And hiking to a water fall, testing my faith
Cramming snow into my mouth,
Followed by hot chocolate at a cabin
Here is Appalachian Summers and picnics
And Rocky Mountain Winters and snow
Or slipping under the turquoise blanket
And exploring underwater caves in Hawaii
Memories are so dear, and always reappear
When everything around me is monotonous
I let myself rediscover what was once mine
And I don't even have to close my eyes
To be part of this beautiful world

You can only play on a joke so much
Before it isn't a joke to someone anymore

I've never felt this comfortable being gay

I didn't think I could become this
I didn't think I could latch on to this
But I can feel myself doing it slowly
And it feels so ******* good

I am so ******* happy
And I feel like there is a reason
Something I should realize
But I'm too oblivious
To notice anything anymore

I have never met someone as selfish, rude, and ridiculous
And now, I have to have anxiety attacks because
I have to struggle through a whole week alone with you

I was holding on tightly,
But my eyes began to close
And my grip loosened
And now I am floating
Drifting through time
Why be closed when
It feels so good to be open

I have fantasized about many things
But mostly of the sun, but breezy days
And unheard of crazy music blaring
And smoking and alcoholic happy days
And old cars, with new hang-outs
And all of it happening this year

Maybe things are different
Maybe views have shifted
Maybe things are fixed

Of All the make up
The eight new creams
I just can't hide it

Everything around me has become confusing
From feelings to family, everything has broken
Into a million tiny pieces, like specks of   dust
And I'm done dealing, so I sit here breathing them in

Yes dad I act like a boy
I guess acting like a lady
Felt a little too oppressed

When you're the best of friends,
Having so much fun together,
You're not even aware you're such a funny pair,
You're the best of friends.
Life's a happy game,
You can clown around forever.
Neither one of you see's you're natural boundaries,
Life's one happy game.
If only the world wouldn't get in the way,
If only people would just let you play,
They say you're both being fools,
You're breaking all the rules.
They can't understand,
The magic of your wonderland.
When you're the best of friends,
Sharing all that you discover,
When these moments have past,
We'll let friendship last,
Who can say, there's a way!
Oh I hope...
I hope it never ends.
Cause you're the best of friends...

I'm not immune to throwing shade