EVERYWHERE I LOOK, I SEE GHOSTS.

At every tortured bend and darkened hallway, I see you;

And me. And the smiles up against the walls and the laughter jumping through your hair.

I see my insides tied tightly to the spots where we mumbled and fumbled and

took

our

time.

I see shadows of guilt stretched across our history and - like some queer carnival attraction - my Hopelessness cast them.

I feel broken memories catching in my eyes like old, worn hooks.

I taste laughter and love at the back of my throat:

Tickling some hardened part of me :

Making me to and fro’.

And as much as I suffer for the crimes I took joy in,

I know you,

And you suffer for it all the more.

I remember the bits of gold painted in your eyes
Just like I remember the way you'd look at me as if I was the most beautiful girl in the world

I remember the roughness of your gently hands
Just like I remember the feeling of your arms around me

I remember the way you would kiss me
Just like I remember the tingly feeling of your lips against mine

I remember the love that we once shared
Just like I remember this feeling of not belonging to you anymore

I remember the way you spoke I love you
Just like I remember the way you spoke goodbye

*I will never forget you my one true love.

My smile is a camouflage
Too disguise my broken heart
It's only fair to keep my suffering heart hidden
It wouldn't be polite to make my loved ones suffer
By watching me suffer

Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?

Sitting on a chair
The color of yellow
Made if plastic and metal

Wearing tight ripped skinny jeans
With warm snug boots
That just so happenly to be planted upon a table

Widow by my left side
Giving view of a chilly day
Blue sky painted with gray clouds
And trees filled with branches and no leaves

Tick tock tick tock
Says the clock on my right side
Time is too slow
This class is too long
Just another ordinary boring day at school