Are you happy now?*
You've yelled at me all day
You put into me mind
That I am worthless
Ugly
A mistake
And that I do everything wrong
You've won
And I've lost as always
My apologies for be a terrible daughter

Our behavior
Is like a
Mirror

It's the reflection
Of who we
**truly are

There will always be someone who will write a song about drugs, *** and hoes
And there will always be an award
Thank god for that
Because I'm sure God didn't want you to write songs like that

This madman's song
It vibrates through my veins
I feel pain

This madman's song
It bruises my pale skin
As we dance
Why do we dance

This madman's song
You love it so well
I close my eyes as we dance
But not softly
I close them tightly
As tears slither down the apples of my cheeks

This madman's song
It turns my pale skin to the color of black and blue

Why madman
Why do you hurt me

I am tired of dancing
My throat is soar from screaming
Are you happy now
You have won

Every bone in me is broken
Every inch of my pale skin is black and blue
Even my heart is shaded grey
It's filled with a mist where I've had no love

Finally

This madman's song is ending
My eyes are closed
But please no casket
I'd like to be ash
And poor me over the mountain tops
So then i can see the world

"Tell me about your family."

Before I tell you about my family I must warn you.
My family story isn't a happy one
It's not a story full of Christmas cards and family game nights.
It's not picturesque. It's not a story of smiles and laughter.

It's a story full of guilt and self hatred.
It's a story composed of slamming doors and cigarette burns.
It's me on the floor crying questioning my self worth.
It's my mom holding a bottle of anti-depressants that she always claimed were asprin.
It's my brother seconds before attempting to take his own life.
It's my sisters leaving to live with my grandparents.
It's my dad living behind bars. He couldn't keep his hands to himself.

Before you ask about my family...

You should know my family's story is one that only knew absence and hatred. It never loved. It never cast out my demons, in fact it's the reason they're there. It never said "good job." It never comforted. It never made anything better.