The first time you hear
"Beauty is pain"
Is when your mother is brushing tangles
Out of your hair
You're too young to care

The next time
Is when you're getting your hair done
For an event
Bobby pins everywhere
And this time it sticks

Your legs sting
After you shave them
For the first time
But you remind yourself
Beauty is pain
And go on with your day

You remind yourself again
As you pluck hairs
From your eyebrows
It helps you somehow

Beauty is pain
Your stomach growls
You haven't eaten
Because you want to be skinny
You want to be pretty

Beauty is pain
Is all you hear
When you walk into surgery
To change your face

Beauty is pain
Lingers in the back of your mind
When your boyfriend hits you
For the first time

One day you look in the mirror
All you see is pain
You wonder how it ended up this way

I know it's hard to touch the clouds
when memories
hold you down
I know you cry a lot inside
when no one is
around
I know it is hard to wake up
sometimes
when breathing cuts so deep.

and the birds, they sing
but
you cannot hear
and the sun, it shines
but
you cannot see
and there's a lot of warmth around
but
you cannot feel.

I know it feels so hard
to live
with so many scars

but

light will shine and you will
see
and birds will sing and
you will hear

It's just a dark path
you have to walk
and I will be there
to walk along
don't hold your breath
don't give up yet
just
keep your hope
and you'll find one day
that you can fly again
for you deserve
the highest clouds
the purest air
the deepest love.

and I'll be here for you,
you, dear soul,
the sweetest lyric
of them all.

she'd learnt to keep a shallow mind
so people didn't have to swim
and it led them all to think they knew
the thoughts she held within
but below the wading pool she made
was a world left unexplored
an ocean of her feelings
hidden under the pools floor
the waters turned to blackness
where not even she had dared to go
stretching from behind her eyes
to the ends of all her toes
she didn't want to dive right down
and find what lay hidden there
because she knew with all deep water
came a deadly lack of air
but she didn't foresee the lonely boy
who found a crack in her cement
broke free of her wading pool
and into the darkness he went
he told her not to fear her thoughts
as he took her by the hand
and swam with her to places
that their lungs could not withstand
in their newfound love they both forgot
the importance of their breath
and interwoven in the world they found
they both drowned in its depths

The girl was a novel awaiting to be read,
Sitting on a oak shelf with endless colors in her hair.
She wore her scars hidden behind her parchment clothes,
Dreaming about a chapter that had yet to be exposed.

She spent her days between the pages,
Falling behind in the world's story.
She had read herself so many times,
that she had forgotten to read the world once.

The girl was a novel awaiting to be read,
by someone rather than herself.
She had been consumed in her own pages,
lost in a sea unfathomably alone.

The girl never once turned to look beside her;
at the row of books left untouched on the same shelf.
They had always been there in their rainbow sea of colors;
their binders tattered and titles exposed.

She believed herself to be a book,
never a reader.

The oak shelf did nothing but
support her.

The girl was a novel awaiting to be read.
The girl was a novel awaiting to be favored.

I don't know whether you know it
But dear great artist and poet
You have made me smiled in ways
That leaves me in definite daze
Not for the minutes we talked
But rather for countless days.
I could tell you that your eyes
They are like the calming oceans
So serene yet so filled with emotions
That they seemed to be so pretty
on you, but that's just because
everything about you screams
pretty and beautiful.

'Just another girl' you tell me
But you are beyond breathtakingly
beautiful
not only for your looks
but for the unobservable,
your kindness, your raw artistic talent,
your chaos amidst all balance,
it's all simply summed into one word
Amazing.
One of my life's greatest pleasure
Was meeting you and knowing
That you will let me wear the title
of being 'your friend'.

Where did that little girl go?
The one who ran around tirelessly
Till she spewed up the juice she drank
As she darts a happy eye
Towards me and says
'Don't worry I'm on a juice cleanse'.

Where did that teenager go?
The one who ran around tirelessly
Trying to solve the problems of the world.
"No matter how hard you try dear,
You're never going to save the environment,
No matter how hard you try dear,
You're never going to cure AIDS right now,
No matter how hard you try dear,
You can't fix every relationship issues,
No matter how hard you try sweetheart,
There's just no way you can do all that alone."

But she tried, oh how she tried
and as tears ran down her cheeks,
she held a smile
with her eyes
still shimmering of a fading light
she said
'You watch me. I'll do it all,
I'll prove you wrong
I am a ******* champ'.

Where did that teenager go?
The one who objected to the ideas of impossibility,
The one who did her best to prove everyone wrong.
_____

"She's never going to make it to 18."
they said derisively towards her,
they said holding barbed wired words
across her shattering heart.

Why didn't you try to prove them wrong.
Where did THAT teenager go?
Why didn't you prove them wrong?

People expect too much from something that can go either way
The road splits in two
And maybe even 4 if your mind has the desire to take other routes
Nobody ever finds true love
It is built with our humanity
It is built from nature
It is built with joy
And even though I don't say many serious things
I know you don't know I know the things you never would've thought I knew
But I do, and the gift isn't given, it is lived
Before my smile, I had to walk miles in denial
I am free from that now
But I still have scars on my wrist
And I know you can barely see, but I'm free
And I know I don't make much sense to you, but that's why I write
That's why I spend hours being mindful on life
That's why I cry
That's why I smile
That's why I think about death
That's why I think about surviving
And accepting makes me fear less
Enjoying makes me neglect less
Showing enthusiasm makes me live the dreams I never seemed to reach even in my sleep
I haven't posted on this website in a while
I'm not really sorry, I just am
Literally, just am
People on Twitter won't get that part
I'm talking about Hellopoetry.com
It's 1/4 passed 12
And this is me trying to write poetry
Don't tell me what you think of this poem
Just read
And go on with the life that was given to you
This
Is
Bitter
Honesty