You thought he was beautiful?

                     Maybe so.

Yet he weeps when he looks in the mirror,
much like an old willow…

Grasping at the earth with
Cracked and tethered vines
With
Anger and sorrow
With
Insecurities drowning his roots

He wonders what the sky looks like,
While he’s forced to
watch himself grow down

He thinks “it must be beautiful”
Maybe so.

You sleep so soundly,
   Blissful in your unawareness;

While my mind taunts me with
   Everything I can’t forget

Sometimes when I
close my eyes

I imagine you, with your stupid smile
Finger tips along my skin

Dragging gently
Soft as satin;

Laying down gold on the cracks and seams
Yes, the very ones that you constructed

But there’s no ache anymore
Only warmth

Until I open my eyes again...

O h

What I’d give for a day
To soak into your love

As if nothing ever changed

*******
For idolizing someone else’s body
While I’m lying next to you
Blissfully unaware

*******
For showing her your vulnerabilities
That only my eyes were
Meant to see

*******
For giving her your attention
And telling me I don’t give you enough;

Telling her you love her
Telling her she’s beautiful
Telling me lies

*******
For breaking me
And still being able to
Sleep at night

*******
*******
*******

Why can’t I hate you?