I wasn’t given the spirit of fear
I was given love, power, and a sound mind
But what about my peace?
Day by day I live and face the unknown
I wasn’t born weak
But sometimes the negativity and the savagery hurts
Sometimes I want to ask my Father up above why
Not on noe “woe is me” kind of thing
Why do people who don’t even know hate me
But I’m only truly loved by a small handful
Why must I exist in a world that’s ugly
But I’m supposed to somehow make it beautiful
I wasn’t given the spirit of fear
I was given love, power, and a sound mind
But what about my peace?
Here’s the thing, I refuse to be weak
I come from a line of fighters and warriors
This world is dark
But I am apart of the light that will help it shine
I was given love, power, and a sound mind
My love comes from God
My power comes from God
Most importantly, my peace comes from God

© 2018 Mia J

You’ll have to forgive me

I didn’t see the writing on the wall

You’ll have to forgive me

There were no words to say to ease the pain

You’ll have to forgive me

I saw the left road, while you saw the right

You’ll have to forgive me

These things don’t happen often

You’ll have to forgive me

If I did wrong but I don’t know what that could be

You’ll have to forgive me

I’m not trying to be insensitive

You’ll have to forgive me

I stepped on your white rose
You don’t have the same experiences as me
And it’s not fair
I lost you
And it isn’t fair
I guess I understand what you said when you said it

You’ll have to forgive me

I stepped on your white rose, unknowingly
I thought we were pals
But feelings came that you can’t explain

You’ll have to forgive me
You’re hurt but so am I
I thought we were pals
But things will never be the same
I didn’t know what to say when you told me your feelings
I didn’t think things would end how they did
But I suppose it’s just this thing we call life

I know things won’t be the same
I think that’s what really bad about it all

You’ll have to forgive me
But I suppose it’s just this thing we happen to call life

You’ll have to forgive me
But I hope you never forget me

Listen,
I don’t know who you are
But apparently, I know you somehow
You were in my dreams
But I could never see your face
A mystery I hope gets solved soon
I wanna meet you already
But it may not be our time
Do you know how much I have dealt with?
Sour apples
That almost ruined my hopes
False actions and lies
That became irritating later than sooner
The painful truth,
Left unspoken but heard loudly
Do you realize what is happening?

But I haven’t lost my hope, yet
Somehow
I see you in my dreams
Never fully, just partially
I wish I knew your name at least
You may be dealing with the same
The foolishness and pettiness
Made up faces,
Things that are plastic
One day of interest and the next
No one knows you
And you may be questioning about me too
I want to tell you I’m almost there
But are you?
I feel I'm close to meeting you
But nature has her way of tricks
I thought I learned enough this last year
But life has opened my eyes
Actions speak louder than words
Looks are only that
It’s nothing wrong with sticking to my standards

You know,
Love is patient
Real love has no rush
Love has no way of explanation
It has a feeling that when it hits
It can only be real
I don’t think you’ll be like the rest
The thing that I want
Has to be more real than my ***** hair
You’ll be the one I’ve been praying and waiting for

I hope you know how to make me smile
Smiles look better than frowning
I’m optimistic
And don’t like being upset,
All the time
I hope you are a man of true character
Not a counterfeit
A man who has a great relationship with God
You know who you are
And ain’t afraid to be yourself
Waiting for me won’t be a problem for you
I want us to express our feelings and love
Without becoming too physical
Such a gift shouldn’t be shared with everyone
I need you to be loyal
I’m not dealing with anything less ***
I want you to love me as the woman I am
I’m not perfect,
Just like you, I have flaws
I’ll accept yours if you accept mine
I want us to have fun together
Laugh together, have conversations
That have meaning
I want you to court me
I don’t want to do it anymore
That way, I know you truly want me
I want you to be my best friend
We both have our best interest in mine
I want us to grow and bloom
Like flowers
I’ll build with you, but only if you have a foundation
I know you won’t be perfect
I don’t want a work-in-progress
I need a finished product
Time will bring our patient hearts together
I won’t give up on love
I pray you won’t either, darling
Don’t be fooled by the counterfeits
Real love still exists

Let’s start with the obvious

-We did not choose each other as family members.
-As close as everyone should be, we are not because of petty problems and other trivial things that shouldn’t matter.
-The ones who say we should be close are the main ones causing unnecessary division.
-We cry together more than we ever laughed together.

Let’s move to the facts

-Life is short.
-That anger you are holding against whoever is something you’ll have to one day answer for.
-A relationship should not be one-sided. If they reach out to you, it does not hurt to return the favor.
-You can feel how you feel about a situation, but you do not need to get in the middle of it.

Let’s move to the hard truth

-Family reunions happen at funerals.
-A family get-together is not a wrestling match neither a reality show with cameras.
-Everyone needs to let old hurt go and break generational curses.
-The word family had meaning to it, but now it is merely a loose term.
-Blood was thicker than water, but it dries up quicker than a small rain puddle.

And we were supposed to be all we had.
Do better.

#OWL'******br>

I learned lessons that I hated.
I thought thoughts I didn’t want to repent for.
I cried over molehills I turned into mountains.
I was accused of things that weren’t my fault.
I loathe coming to this place of Hell everyday.
Dealing with strangers and their attitudes.
I don’t want to smile in their faces for another day.
I kick myself for accepting this job offer.

I
have
had
enough.

All of this for a job?
For a place that would replace me like ***** underwear?
For a place where I’m merely a number?

No, not a worker.

What loyalty do I owe to them?
I ain’t happy.
It’s been that way for a while.
They know I ain’t happy.
So what if I choose to leave?
I’ll be doing myself a much needed favor.

Let me slap down this edited two weeks notice on my manager’s desk.
And tell her I’ll never come back again.
I’ll happily do an exit interview and finally say my burning words of fury.
What I gotta lose then?
I gotta go and I’m **** happy.
Keep this job and work it yourself to see how I feel.

I’ll be just fine in my new place of employment.
I may not have been the best worker,
But don’t say I wasn’t a good one.
I dealt with more and I’m not even in your position.
Don’t be shocked.
You know good and well this day was coming.

Have fun!

© 2021 Mia J