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 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Kev Harlequin
Of the top of my head I'll write this to you,
hoping that somehow you'll feel what I'm feeling too-
this excited, fairytale ending kind of feeling,
this sense of belonging amongst other writer's such as myself internal healing.
For eternity I'll be bleeding,
on each page with my words, whether or not you realize its worth,
I'll bleed.
I'll be me,
Yes, indeed,
I'll be the poet I was born to be.

You'll see...
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Toni
Beautiful
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Toni
I'm beautiful
You've told me all evening
and will tell me all night
but will I still be beautiful
*in the morning?
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Kev Harlequin
As the rain comes down on my window pane,
I took a look at the world and I could see the pain,
I could feel the pain!
They need a change,
So I'll be the pill that could ease the migraine.
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Kev Harlequin
I miss you like a fish misses water during a drought,
Never took the time to actually show its true appreciation for sustaining life- for protection, education and genuine love.
I miss you like the person that decided at the final second that they're gonna come off the train tracks,
Because I know our hearts were about to collide, and your hand was almost at mine but I missed the opportunity to reach for you.
I miss you.
The only brother that ever acknowledged that I was different,
Quick to discipline yet slow to judge,
Always with love and never held a grudge,
I miss you.
We shared the same room and we'd talk til the new day began,
Even though I tried pushing you away and did you wrong you never ran,
Away,
From your little brother,
I can still feel your kisses,
From those I new you cared,
And when I was scared,
I remember running home to... you'd make me laugh until in the face of my opposition I could stare,
And know that my big brother got my back.
I remember stressed out days you greet me with a smile,
Gimme some bucks, a bite to eat, and said you'd see me in a while.
I miss you D.
I miss you and me.
Especially now when I'm hurting but its only my flaws everyone sees and they keep throwing them at me like I got no soul or I'm nobody,
I wish somebody would be like you,
And see me for me,
Instead of trying to control, let me be free,
God knows who I'd be without you, and I never got the chance to let you know that the love I've built for you is true.
I miss your voice,
I miss your laugh,
Eyes, ears, face, and your head with no hair,
I will always have you in my heart,
You never failed to be man of your word, you kept it real from the start,
Sleep on D,
I will always be your little brother,
We,
Will always be brothers,
You and me.
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Kev Harlequin
I've always been the one who took the blame;
They've always taken a king for granted
and you do the same.
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Kev Harlequin
You're going to need a lot therapy if you try to step into my mind,
I'll shut the door in your face, fool,
I don't have time.

Wasting my time with with your speculations,
Steady trying to put death in my destinations,
Little child you're not a man,
you'll never understand,
I got whole wide world chilling, icing in my hands -cold world.

Never will you knock me off my stand,
You need a better plan.

All you haters can try again.
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Kev Harlequin
They told me I couldn't make it,
That the reason I'm here is because of parents making love without being in love so they had to fake it,
They said I was a mistake,
And that the next time they see me would either be on TV as a criminal or on the death channel announcing the date of my wake,
Hateful lips cursed me out,
Judgemental minds and hands put me out,
I didn't fit in or belong to their circles because I'm a square,
For a while I thought it was unfair,
To be the only one that had to skip school because I didn't even have a bus fair,
Fitting on my pair of high top boots everywhere I go because I honestly had nothing else to wear,
Or Spending half an hour every morning plucking sponges out of my hair,
Turning my socks over on my feet since the heels had holes,
No microwave or gas so the food had to be cooked with coals,
Had a pain in my soul to watch my family suffer any more so I stole,
I started drinking like no tomorrow,
Thinking alcohol was the cure to sorrow,
Playing a real life game called pain and depression,
Losing points to an opposition called anger and aggression,
My mind was tortured,
My faith needed to be nurtured,
If my place in life was a woman then you know I was down to search her,
I started drifting from the people that loved me,
My philosophy was centred around my selfish desires and trusted nobody else but the Hennessey,
And I couldn't see,
I didn't see the sweat or the tears shed by my family for me,
I didn't hear the quiet prayers they said for me every night before they went to sleep,
Long story short, their prayers were answered when God Himself said to me He had bigger plans for me,
Yes He called me by name, chose me to use my life as a living testimony, my struggles and stories to minister to those youths who are just like me,
Born unruly but can't do nothing without the go ahead from the Almighty,
His name is Jesus and I say it unashamed,
He changed my life for the better and for you He can do the the same if you let him,
What do you really have to lose?
He lost his life just for you but the media doesn't like to promote that news,
He chose to die because He wanted you to live, came back alive so He can spend eternity with you and continuously give,
You peace of mind,
The piece of you that's been missing for a while,
He loves you like a father loves His child,
So just let him love you, He won't ever leave your side,
Run to Him if you need a safe place to hide,
Trust Him and He'll teach you how to trust yourself,
You're to die for and He wants you to know your wealth,
This is not a church people poem, I'm done with that religious mess,
Because the message I bring promotes a lifestyle like Jesus and nothing less,
Say I won't do it, put me to the test,
Luke 1:37 is stitched in my cardiac arrest,
Beats in my chest,
In the centre of why I do what I do,
I do because a lot of youths are too scared to stand up for truth,
So I'll stand out,
Open my mouth,
And declare from North to South,
I am different, don't try to figure me out.
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Kev Harlequin
I'm insufficient,
a victim of injustice,
Incapable of proving to be more than taken for granted.
I am injuria sine damno-
You see I cause no harm because I keep to myself but I'm labelled as a threat and legally, religiously wrong because I refused to be accepted by the crowd if it meant I'd have to reject the beat beats of my heart, that sound
That low frequency sound I make is all they could take,
I say nothing most of the time, even when I see them close their eyes to the truth, and judge me incorrectly then call me blind, covering their ears pretending they're deaf but lash at me with whipped words until there's no skin left,
On my mind's back and chest they beat, making me feel less- they're obsessed,
years of pain taking and saying nothing and them thinking they're doing what's best,
But they never stopped to realize- I'm depressed.
Yes, they call me lazy, crazy, heartless, stupid, and an embarrassment,
they never really knew who I was since I often wondered around the lost and found tent,
I'm in this field of life, but I have no permanent address,
I could be quickly tossed out if I don't pay them a daily rent,
They took my confidence, my joy, my humanity- I'm not a real boy,
I'm a liar, and a cheater, deceiver, a mistreater,
They're lies became my bride and I willingly received her, I believed her, she told me all the things I didn't want to hear,
Maybe if she didn't I wouldn't feel so bad about myself and live in fear,
I'm afraid of me,
But they could never see,
They're either too busy being holier than thou or making money,
No time for the broke ***** with no popularity,
I used to think that they were wrong, but they clearly pointed out it was me,
Solution: suicide
For too long this pain I hide,
Tell me What's the point of living if I'm dead on the inside,
My insides were misguided,
Bitter lies left my vision blinded,
your heart and mind will never feel the torture like I did,
And it was all because of you,
You my brothers and sisters, mistresses and misters, you were the ones who deemed me guilty before my trail began,
You turned me into the sacrificial lamb,
Like Jesus you judged my actions based on your standards,
you crucified me, classified me with immature geese and ganders,
Is this what you hoped for?
These are the results of you trying to help, no, fix me?
Well congrats, now I'm broken,
this is your reward-

The end of me.
 Jul 2017 Anessa K
Kev Harlequin
Let's reflect on our reflections,
Look in the mirror of your lifestyle and tell me,
what do you see?

Who are you?

Are you the same person we see in church when you're out in the streets?
Do still greet your enemies with smile like you do when deacons are around like its the first time you meet?

Who are you?

Are you the one that constantly cries out to God giving your all,
on your knees you fall,
lifting your hands to the heavens mimicking you're tall,
to the father you call?

Or was that just for the church?
Was that all for a show?
Does anyone on job even know that you know who Jesus is?
Or is it that his light in your life just suddenly forgot how to glow?

Think about it!

This isn't a pop quiz you should really think about it,
What will happen if the sky cracks right now,
you hear the sound of angels and the trumpet starts to blow,
thunders, earthquakes, fire and seas start to grow?

Did you think about it?

Or not even that,
What if He came yesterday,
and I didn't get the chance to rhyme for you today,
And the earth as He promised had passed away?

What do you think?

What will be your fate?
Will you be with Him in paradise
or will you be doomed here to stay?
You should give your all today.

Give your all today.
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