To me it feels like a worm
Wiggling its way
Through my bloodstream,
Making it icy and cold
And my heart turn
To frigid emotion.

It makes its way into my
Mind,
Slowing the thoughts
In some parts,
But giving the other parts,
The nervous parts,
The parts that hyperventilate
And have panic attacks,
Caffiene.

Breathing gets hard
Because
I'm underwater,
Or underground.
Buried alive,
Or sinking slowly.

I.
Can't.
Breathe.

The worm,
The worst part about the worm?
It feeds on my life.

I shan't stare
For I might kiss
I shan't care
For I might miss

I shan't utter a word
For my feelings might show
I shan't keep close
For my body might flow

But everytime I say I shan't
A part of me says i can
Confused and dazed on  what's meant
So I'll just wait like a real woman

My eyes cry out
Like a dry desert

I can feel cracks
at the back of my eyes
It's so dry
It's sore

It's the effects of a drought
after a long monsoon

It was in that moment
The treasured instant infinite
That marked the long divide
Of time that goes by
And trails off towards
The dying night
Of a million lost lights
That slowly wither
In to their place
Their rightful place
Amongst the fallen
And long forgotten
Lost

This little bag I hope will prove
To be not vainly made —
For, if you should a needle want
It will afford you aid.
And as we are about to part
T'will serve another end,
For when you look upon the Bag
You'll recollect your friend.

I started to write a poem
That was so full of hate, and bile,
That it made me retch to re-read it.
That's not the way I am,
I won't be reduced to that.
You have done, what you had to do,
Nothing more.
I can't judge you for it.
I deleted that poisonous poem,
I won't start down that road.
I still care, I hope that will change,
I hope that you are okay,
I forgive you,
In the hope that someday
I can forgive myself.
It is not easy to write this,
I don't want to forgive,
And I don't want to let you go,
But I will, and I must.

Oh, goodbye,
Goodbye,
You were everything, and now we're nothing.
I will miss you.

I will miss you.

I’m sitting here alone.
This empty car lot.
Another heart broken.
No preconceptions.
Nobody to point the way.
I need to break all the rules.
I need to beat the system.

I need to stop crying.
And stand up.
Shout out for her.
She is out there.
I can feel it.

For now,
    We have fun.