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when I get drunk before 12 a.m. people tend to,
leave because I keep repeating how much I miss my ex girlfriend and her ******* amazing brown eyes and how,
much I hate how my sister is so **** perfect when I'm not. she must have forgotten to give me the recipe.
I hate when people brag about their new boyfriends and how many times their,
parents have caught them having *** because it's not me and I'm so ashamed.
I hate that if people beg me long enough I'll,
do as they please because I need the affection and the,
attention I never had because I was abused for 10 years by the people who was supposed to give me attention,
love,
support. I guess they were never meant for loving. maybe that's why divorces are always an option and I'm so glad that I don't even have the ******* opinion to,
marry all over the world yet. but what if I fall in love with a country through a person,
again,
who gets down on,
one knee with a beautiful ring, and asks me if I wanna spend forever with them,
as if forever even ******* exists?
then I'll at least forget my ex girlfriend and her ******* amazing brown eyes and my sister's recipe for the perfection I craved but never got because my happiness rely on the people,
who tend to leave when I get drunk before 12 a.m.

(e.k.j.)
if you love me
give me a blazer
when I shiver in winter.

if you love me
give me water
when I am thirsty in summer.

if you love me
give me your hand
when I cross the water.

if you love me
peep into my heart
when silence creeps  on my face.

if you love me
look at my eyes
when they speak nothing.

if you love me
love me much and I love you
for I love myself.

— The End —