After months and months Day after agonizing Day
they tell me she can't live through another night but she lingers somewhere
between this world and the next. Three days of this and every night they tell me the same thing.
After months of taking care of her by myself without Family or Friends honoring her request to die at Home and with Dignity. I have done my best for her without any qualms. Getting up every 2 hours to give her meds to keep her comfortable and out of pain living on coffee. tea or cokes. Caffiene running in my veins.
My Heart perpetually in my throat, the ache so bad I can't even describe it.

THREE DAYS AGO I need your arms around me holding me tight so I would know there was still life in me.
And Yesterday I needed your shoulder to cry on when I fell to pieces. All day I was one big mess.
And when I cried myself to sleep last night I needed your touch so badly that I was the one dying with the need.

But today I turned cold inside remembering you say you Love me, you say
you are there for me Always. You say I am your heart forever,
But the SILENCE of you the past three days have shouted through the rooftop of my heart, that all you did was Lie to me during my most vulnerable time.

I just want to yell
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
   WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT'? when I needed you to talk to, you said you had business  and all I got was SILENCE the past three days.

WELL THE PAST THREE DAYS HAVE COME TO TONIGHT AND NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE NOW OR WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW,
LETS SEE HOW YOU LIKE THE SILENCE FOREVER CAUSE THESE THREE DAYS HAVE SHOWN ME THAT I CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE. I MADE IT THROUGH

IF I CAN SURVIVE THIS FROM YOU DURING THESE HORRIBLE DAYS AND NIGHTS OF HELL ON EARTH THEN I CAN SURVIVE THE REST OF THIS LIVING HELL
                                            WITHOUT YOU!

IT'S YOUR LOSS

YOU HAVE JUST LOST THE BEST PART OF YOU!

                                 SILENCE
                                         SILENCE
                                                    GONE!­

I'm undone.
I'm scattered.
Do me.
Do me like a drug.
Abuse me and
unscatter
the dust
I have become.

Loving*
                               is
                                                                ­  too
                                 *mainstream
                but
                                ­                being
                                                                ­                  loved
                                                               back
                                                is
                                                                ­                     not.

No cure for a ***** mind.
Ain't that a shame.

everything i remember is the back of your body
the shape, the eloquent elegant standing next door
painting full of prints, pastels
butterflies on top of the pollen
were we haunting down across the beautiful
scene of that picturesque
rainbow colors
garden that blooms
a cherry orchard petals
roses; cherish every moment from that illuminated light of your
deep brown eyes
lilac that puts on my shoulder to feel
as we waste our time
spending nights and days
all i ever heard was the lovely soft voice
found in you
so let's play
some more
and spend this happy jumpy
fever!

मायामा रमाउने हरेक मन हुन्छ
संवेदनाले त उन्मादपनि जन्माउछ
इच्छा तृष्णा सपना हुन्छ जोसुकैसगं
स्वतन्त्रता बुझ्न यी त्यागेर उड्न सिक्नुपर्छ

चैतको वेगसगैँ उडेका चाहना
मनसुनको बाढी सगैँ बहेर तुहिन्छ
यात्रामा लगाएको पिरती
गन्तव्य नजिक आइपुग्दा अल्मलिन्छ

हतारहतार नै त रित्याउने हो गलती
सुस्ततामा योवनले बैँस त्याग्नसक्छ
भोलीको भलाईको कसलाई के खसखस
आजको रात रगाउदैं जीवन सके नि सकिन्छ।