May 2014
After months and months Day after agonizing Day
they tell me she can't live through another night but she lingers somewhere
between this world and the next. Three days of this and every night they tell me the same thing.
After months of taking care of her by myself without Family or Friends honoring her request to die at Home and with Dignity. I have done my best for her without any qualms. Getting up every 2 hours to give her meds to keep her comfortable and out of pain living on coffee. tea or cokes. Caffiene running in my veins.
My Heart perpetually in my throat, the ache so bad I can't even describe it.
THREE DAYS AGO I need your arms around me holding me tight so I would know there was still life in me.
And Yesterday I needed your shoulder to cry on when I fell to pieces. All day I was one big mess.
And when I cried myself to sleep last night I needed your touch so badly that I was the one dying with the need.
But today I turned cold inside remembering you say you Love me, you say
you are there for me Always. You say I am your heart forever,
But the SILENCE of you the past three days have shouted through the rooftop of my heart, that all you did was Lie to me during my most vulnerable time.
I just want to yell
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT'? when I needed you to talk to, you said you had business and all I got was SILENCE the past three days.
WELL THE PAST THREE DAYS HAVE COME TO TONIGHT AND NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE NOW OR WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW,
LETS SEE HOW YOU LIKE THE SILENCE FOREVER CAUSE THESE THREE DAYS HAVE SHOWN ME THAT I CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE. I MADE IT THROUGH
IF I CAN SURVIVE THIS FROM YOU DURING THESE HORRIBLE DAYS AND NIGHTS OF HELL ON EARTH THEN I CAN SURVIVE THE REST OF THIS LIVING HELL
WITHOUT YOU!
IT'S YOUR LOSS
YOU HAVE JUST LOST THE BEST PART OF YOU!
SILENCE
SILENCE
GONE!
they tell me she can't live through another night but she lingers somewhere
between this world and the next. Three days of this and every night they tell me the same thing.
After months of taking care of her by myself without Family or Friends honoring her request to die at Home and with Dignity. I have done my best for her without any qualms. Getting up every 2 hours to give her meds to keep her comfortable and out of pain living on coffee. tea or cokes. Caffiene running in my veins.
My Heart perpetually in my throat, the ache so bad I can't even describe it.
THREE DAYS AGO I need your arms around me holding me tight so I would know there was still life in me.
And Yesterday I needed your shoulder to cry on when I fell to pieces. All day I was one big mess.
And when I cried myself to sleep last night I needed your touch so badly that I was the one dying with the need.
But today I turned cold inside remembering you say you Love me, you say
you are there for me Always. You say I am your heart forever,
But the SILENCE of you the past three days have shouted through the rooftop of my heart, that all you did was Lie to me during my most vulnerable time.
I just want to yell
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT'? when I needed you to talk to, you said you had business and all I got was SILENCE the past three days.
WELL THE PAST THREE DAYS HAVE COME TO TONIGHT AND NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE NOW OR WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW,
LETS SEE HOW YOU LIKE THE SILENCE FOREVER CAUSE THESE THREE DAYS HAVE SHOWN ME THAT I CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE. I MADE IT THROUGH
IF I CAN SURVIVE THIS FROM YOU DURING THESE HORRIBLE DAYS AND NIGHTS OF HELL ON EARTH THEN I CAN SURVIVE THE REST OF THIS LIVING HELL
WITHOUT YOU!
IT'S YOUR LOSS
YOU HAVE JUST LOST THE BEST PART OF YOU!
SILENCE
SILENCE
GONE!
