How many times can you fix the broken? To many times I've tried to put myself back together but the glue is wearing thin. How many pieces am I missing? I've been shattered so much I'm starting to lose count.

I need an escape. This place just doesn't cut it anymore. My mind is not my home, it's what's killing me when I'm alone. What do I do when I just want to give up?

I'm afraid to fall asleep, will I wake up the next day? Can I even sleep anymore? It's been awhile since I have.

If I end it now
will I wake up?
from these haunting dreams
just to do it all again

Everything feels like a dream to me
nothing feels real anymore
this nightmare is driving me insane

all I want is to feel reality again
this pain is to fake for me

Remember when you'd hug me goodbye and the words 'I love you' escaped my mouth like my body knew you meant more than I would ever let myself know. Remember when I wrapped myself up in smoke like I wrapped myself up in everyone's goodbyes because holding on to something, even when it kills you, is easier than letting go. Remember when you pulled me in closer and every will of my being screamed to push you away and keep walking, but every tiny nerve craved your hands around my waist and the temptation to stay when it's all so wrong is too much. In all reality's I'm just too scared of the 'what ifs' that'll haunt my head once we're through because if we tried long enough we could be more than something great. Remember the way my lips moved and the way my fingers ran down your neck as if every muscle in my body needed you to know, wanted you to know, that I love you more than I could let my voice admit.

The moth’s kiss, first!
Kiss me as if you made believe
You were not sure, this eve,
How my face, your flower, had pursed
Its petals up; so, here and there
You brush it, till I grow aware
Who wants me, and wide open I burst.

The bee’s kiss, now!
Kiss me as if you enter’d gay
My heart at some noonday,
A bud that dares not disallow
The claim, so all is rendered up,
And passively its shattered cup
Over your head to sleep I bow.

With every fiber of my being,
I hate you.
I hate what you did to me.
You treated me like a *****,
and called me one, too.
Does a ***** fight like I did?

I ******* hate you with every bone in my body.
I hope someone sets you on fire.
I'm not who I used to be,
because you couldn't control your lust.
You *******, give me back what you stole.
This emptiness burns for your head on a stick.

The violence of how you treated me
is echoed in my hatred for you.
I am not the kind of girl who has such bloodlust.
And yet, I lust for your blood for it will rectify my pain.
My blood spilled on the pavement,
Bruises that blossomed beneath my skin.