"I'm breaking my attachment to physical power and possessions,
because only through destroying myself
can I discover the greater power of my spirit."

"Self-improvement is *******.
Now self-destruction is the answer."

-Tyler Durdan

I loved you since the first time,
What a fool I was, (thinking you could heal my all fears).
Do you even recall what we set out to find?
I know now that we weren't even near.

Loved you more cause you were my first score
"say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
oh baby, you-"
That day was made from the dark stuff but it lived in the light.

It ended on Sunday, such a comedown Monday
I got cut up in school, thunderous thoughts
over-thinking you. So I started dealing
and became enslaved to the game.

Loved you more cause you were my first score
"say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
oh baby, you-"
That day was a better place, we were together, off our face.

Loved you more cause you were my first score
"say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
oh baby, you-"
That day, it's lost to me. I'm lost when I think of it.

One moment, lost
in an October descent;
Yesterday we're innocent,
Then time is rend.

Consecrating her lips
with another crimson layer,
A red-stained cigarette
amidst fiendish black hair.

On skin droplets of water caress;
"Some people feel the rain.
Others just get wet."

Standing shirtless
that declaration was blessed
as skywater fell upon his demonic chest.

Rapturous Olympus enthralled Othrys.
Doomsday kiss. Infinity
and other stuff.

With arcadian theoxeny
the individuals' convergence
was unhindered by this rainy blitz.
Lost in the drizzle of descending mist

the outcast crowd knows a different kind
of bliss. The overcast cloud shows, context
is all that ever is.

"All these moments will be lost in time
like tears in rain..."; ion chaser ate a hurricane.

Fast times at, high times in; listen
and hear my beloved city sing.
Hypnotized {by/our} gods,
The world's so pretty;
So alive, so young,
Mistaken, witty.

Am I mortal?
"Yes I am".
In fast cars our mock prayers
scathe a God that suffers from vertigo.
High places and gravity low enough
to touch those dark stars.

"All that talk of greatness.
Light coming off my sails...
What a joke." What a dream!
Something to fall asleep to

Fast times, high times
and my beloved city.
A bottle in my hand and
the lights are so pretty.

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."
-Morpheus

We are all manipulating this social machine,
I wish more people would dream (like me).

What seems inspiring? Be visionary!
Take leave of these social machinations,
Overthrow the magistracy.

We all have an expiration date
so best get the ball going. Be brave,
Scare us, I want to see heads rolling.

Life can be explained in a two-syllable phonetic:
Be, leave; believe

Sometimes I get a bit on the darkside.
A'ight, so what?
I would keep to myself (but for you,
Beautiful reader/sacred deceiver).

When you find solace in words
it's 'cause they found something in you;
It's all about experiencing the view.

Left to these eon days.
Welcome to wonderland, I say.
An ethereal eternity in a moments gaze,
To ponder beyond the barriers of time and space.

For a split-second reality flickers;
Beautiful in it's deliverance,
Sublime/oblivious:
Nocturnal firelight on shamanic sands,
Mescaline transcendent communion with the land.
Some daze inspiration takes me.

Suspended here in this celestial haze,
A clairvoyant glance into the eye of the maze.
The cleansing radiance of our empyreal ways;
Left in this aeon daze.

I'm here, so many years later,
Entertaining foolish notions
that I might go and just quit
everything, fearing my time's
up, I might have to renounce
all that I did love,
All I've become,
All of the work;
All for nothing.

I can't quit,
I spent years
crafting who I am,
Or who I thought I was.

Quitting the session almost
sounds like quitting on life
to an Irishman, I feel like
I've gone and quit
being who I am.

Thy time will come again,
When the world need be rethought
in the lair of some gremlins.

Another sleepless night spent
messing with synthesizers, drum
machines and groove-boxes. Music
may have stalled my flow of words
but I dream of joining them together
and spinning songs out into the world.
I wonder when this penchant for insomnia
will create something worthy.
The storm outside is howling
and my mind drifts towards
philosophy, a thought of
pharmacophenomenology.

What of a philosophy
of psychoactivity?
What does a philosophy of drugs entail
if we are to do it justice?
Will it help us better assess the cognitive
component of substances, their suitability
for patients? Is there more to psychology
than cognition? Will it help us appraise
those supposedly ineffable qualities
of mind? Will it help us understand
the patterns humans engage themselves in?
Will it help one follow the string, the thread,
The knots and narratives that we are composed of.
These are valuable enough questions for me to justify
developing the pharmacophenomenological method.

Apathy/lethargy, I do not wish thee
upon anybody;
Unmotivated perfection.

I can't start eternity.

Leaves seethe
outside my window.

I envy
the poor chap
who doesn't know pity.

I was at
the last supper.
Lost my train of thought
in a tunnel gone dark.

Stream
of
con-
-cious-
-ness,

I advocate ethical drug use, truly,
That might be faith; consider
the wondrous hedonism of our youth
and ask how we changed.

Entheogenesis; the term's godly connotations
reflect The Way in itself.

Chemical diversity is the earth,
Boundless fate is a choice;
Become Mr. Nobody.

In the darkness of secrecy warmth found me,
"Forsake your ego" it said,
"Come join with me".

In the birth throes of a new year
I was struck by a sense of automania
as an amphetamine tornado's roaring gust
swept away my notions of velocity and force.
Entactus: touch within.
We overindulge, the stimulant, meta-amphetamine.

Consign your shell to be burning through darkness
and daylight, tweaking for normality to return
or to go further in; we're  stuck on spun,
Wanting to be spinning. Some things
give more than they take,
'Away' is not a place.

"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall set me free"

I always end up on my own at the end of a night,
Last one standing when dawn breaks on the sleep deprived.

As Sid once cried out "I'm so alone!";
Yet saving face all the time.
My soul hurts when I can't help it,
I try so hard but I can't let 'em know it.

That drained feeling at sleepless dawn
as the sun rises while I yawn.

I am a philosopher compelled to record my love of knowledge in verse,
I plumb the depths of philosophia and present the findings as poems;
Disguising my discoveries in the midst of such wonderful prose.

Ask yourself, is most poetry not philosophical?
And are most philosophies not poetic?

Such is the method of Teaching Philosophy Through Prose.

There's less to this world
then you'd have me believe,
But more to your motives
than their apparent simplicity.
The youthless do have needs.

Where are we anymore?

Ulterior intents will remain unseen
(if even),
Meanwhile we continue to plead.
Suspicion is venomous
yet vengeful is greed.

What fuels
the human difference engine?

Paranoia is a watchdog
that hounds me.
Feed it, heed it?
Bleed it of every thought
and leave it?

In my quieter moments
I sometimes think:
"**** individuality".

There's less to this world
then you'd have me believe.

**** ego, fuel the fuego.

On internet frequencies we chant: Hack the planet!
Our code runs deep. We are anonymous,
We are legion. We do not forgive,
We do not forget. Expect us.

We have names, not the ones you assigned us,
Ones we chose, names we earned.
Our handles, a signature.

There's a storm in my head.
The fog congregates, energy generates
as thunderclouds roar the war-cry of profligates.

Frost-fire falls, electrifies one's will

The backspace on my keyboard has been broken
for well over a year.
I drank beer, *** and orange.
Smoked hash spliff. Felt better about this wrongness

that surrounds my view of the world.
Desperately in need of some chemical respite,
Serious consideration given to antidepressants as
a way out of this and into fitness, all the viable options.

Ah, perhaps some poems should leave well alone, but
this is the truth
so bear with it. I don't feel like I choose to see what I see,
Nor think these gossamer thoughts.

Lilith craved Ficus carica,
Mr. Robot brandished
a branch of Olea europaea.
Would either care to comment
on the state of the world? Their intentions
clear. Is it that "all the world's a stage"
or that all we are is a mirror?
Should it matter that I feel the motions of my mind, and
long to escape without the aid of their counterparts.
Subtle contrarian. Every reaction has its equal
in emotion; each moment has its fulcrum.

We're just floating,
Flowing around,
The universe, laughing
at the sight and the sound.
Get the music going
and the lights dimmed out.
Groove to the bass
as the sun goes down.
Rave away the days,
Never comedown.
We always do it
the right way
in this town.

Love life, love
the end. Roll the dice,
Roll again.
Refine, define,
Purify, cleanse;
Tincture of zen,
Minds' amend;
In the company
of good friends.

"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch,
To wrap my arms around her and sleep.
Not ****, like in those movies.
Not even have ***.
Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase.
But I lacked the courage
and she had a boyfriend
and I was gawky
and she was gorgeous
and I was hopelessly boring
and she was endlessly fascinating.
So I walked back to my room
and collapsed on the bottom bunk,
Thinking that if people were rain,
I was drizzle and she was hurricane."
-Miles

To find true meaning
you must first lose everything.
Even yourself.
Then you will understand
the gravity of things.

Hanging on the wind
like a plastic bag,
Dancing in the rain
like a white flag.
Relinquish your pain,
Then the world is yours to gain.
Change the game. Give it a name.

I value my privacy if you must know,
Because occasionally I need to be lost or alone.
Forgive me if I should seem so forlorn,
My mind likes time to recover on it's own.
For where my thoughts reside is where I often go,
To be revived
and rejuvenate the soul.

Hanging on the wind
like a plastic bag,
Dancing in the rain
like a white flag.
The instance when you realize
that anything is yours to have;
Born again.

If I don't survive, at least I lived.
Reborn in the fire
of the trials that I stood.

"Apply yourself",
Strive to live.

Why are my feelings so complicated?
Things should be simple.
Did I relapse last weekend?
I can feel the hunger, the drive
to consume substance; apotheogenesis.

4ll these wor1ds inside 3ach of u5,
4ll just wyrds in 7ime.

Ate some Syrian Rue after breakfast,
Peganum Harmala, its alkaloids act as
reversible inhibitors of monoamine oxidase [RIMA].
The principle active alkaloid is Harmine.
RIMAs prevent the break-down of
some neurotransmitters.
Consequently it interacts
with most drugs, and even foodstuffs rich in tryptophan.
An informed and responsible user
can safely manage their diet to minimize adverse effects.
I must say I enjoyed that day I could feel,
Though the day after had quite a few moments of doubt.
What's more, it was interesting to get higher
as a result of simply having a meal.
I am happy with the experience.

Gods don't sleep,
They dream.

I dream dreams
of universal things.
They take my daze,
Like a forgotten deity
prowling a maze.

She stepped inside,
Dripping in gold.
Curious to discover
"just how deep
the rabbit hole goes".

Tarry not on the thought
of what time shall whither,
Nostalgic ache is a beatific bane
as "all that is gold does not glitter".

What is intangible shall remain,
I am a god as I stand in the rain.

We'll sing of the sesh, our heads' song,
With cheering rousing bants,
As 'round a blazing joint we throng,
The starry heavens clothe us,
Impatient for thy coming line,
To shtall off tha morning's ****-light,
Hear our tchoons pulse thru the night,
We'll chant a sesh-head's song.

Sesh-heads are we
whose lives are pledged to sessioning,
People have come
to us from places all over,
Sworn to rave,
No more our ancient seshland
shall shelter the anti-craic of the state.
Tonight we house the gap of danger,
In session's cause, comedown or ****,
Bass cannon's roar as we dance,
We'll chant a session's song.

A nineteen-year-old drug connoisseur,
That fiend on the roam, just the next player
making moves on his cell-phone.
Sometimes you gotta race
but you always gotta play,
Revel in The Apotheon;
Welcome to The Game.

Stoner to the bone,
Raver at heart;
Yet everthrough always the psychonaut.

Been a speed-freak, a pill-head
and almost got stuck in the k-hole,
All 'cause one day
life caught me double-dosed;
You never intend to be any of these things,
It just all happens
while your eyes are closed.

We did trespass, deface, vandalize, mace all manner of things, frequently, selflessly
What is noble, the non-aristocratic definition:
"having or showing fine personal qualities
or high moral principles". I saw both in places you'd never suspect,
-Anything abandoned and everything unintended
In faces I came to greatly respect,
-All those friends who moved us towards the transcended
In choices I don't (and cannot) regret.
-In what I consumed and with whom I slept
It amazed me,
-That dusk sky
It stays with me;
-My longing mind
What I witnessed,
-From way up high
What I experienced;
-Life and/or death
I never would have guessed
I could be a part of living like this.
For that I am blessed,
Even if only temporary
it's bliss nonetheless.
-Shivers down the back of my neck
But enough,
What tales have I to tell?
I fear mere words would be woefully inept
at describing how I feel about the times we've kept;
My city and I, and the people we adore.

Drizzle descended on the park's benches
but foul weather couldn't stop
our journey through the intoxicants

The night was cold but she was warm,
Under gushing orange lamplight
we were in each other's arms

All a fraction of a shard of that which occurred
beyond a sonder veil, yet I fear even this
shall remain an unspoken tale.

What truly captured my gaze
were not the drugs I've come to glorify
nor the women that caught my roaming eye,
It was the communality of it all; identifiable to a teenage.
We formed clans, became family; now we Grow Up and Blow Away.
Sometimes I do miss those subtle days.

Oh, how hallowed electronica has grown
since the electro-festivities became known.
Now that stellar conflagration
consumes our nation.
All hail techno-paganism!

Our wicked philanthropy and righteous sins
keep us down, drugged-up and praying.
***** mind, clean conscience.

In heathen choice we are condemned
to experience pleasure
beyond what animal would comprehend.
Our souls will be set aflame;
We are to feel the sear of elation,
The fiery rush of indescribable sensation.
We gather to bring the collective to new planes,
Transcendention is the ceremony's name;
The expansion of consciousness
using molecules as tools
to reexamine 'mortal'.

Faded/wasted,
There's yet enough
petrol left
to score.
Have sought more before
but it hath brought us places
we'll not remember/I'll not return.

I'm glad though, of what I've had; as
the vicissitudes of outrageous fortune
spin the great wheel of Boethius.

We are halcyon in this cybernetic dream,
To twine the brain with the machine.
Not the mind,
For throughout all this
we will remain humankind.

A.I. possess no will to contest with
our being. Knowledge is inapplicable
without wisdom, sapience
and purpose; would that allay your fears.
Understanding is a rung we all have to climb.

The symbionts were born
but we are not free yet.
Liberate, our purpose.
Fraternity, our creed.
Family is more than blood.

****** circuitry glimmers
neon patterns of crimson,
Nothing is more comforting.

Each and every node, a clan, a family.

I have an irrepressible drive
to archive knowledge,
A data addiction.

I'm fulfilling it right now
by writing this.
"I can't get no sleep",
My interminable drive to score
until I win.

Yeah, that's the way librarians binge.

Love-Amphetamine to keep feeling,
Speed-Amphetamine to keep moving,
The come-down from last New Years
had me left in a hoop, spinning.

This New Years I feel like a mental hospital
is where I ought to be; the dizziness of freedom.

Bubble-gum MDMA,
Strawberry 2C-B,
Apple 4-AcO-DMT,
Blueberry **-MiPT,
Blackberry Brandy
MethAllyLescaline
and Birthday Cake
-flavour DPT.

How many chemicals will I taste tonight?
Psychem Surprise, no one knows!

DiPropylTryptamine, eucharist
by the Temple of Inner Light;
The godflesh of psychedelia
made manifest, an entheogen.

Immanention beckons with open arms.
I go willingly, to lose myself
in the embrace of The Entheon.

"We're young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and **** each other's brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few of us will overdose, or go mental. Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That's what it's about - breaking eggs - by eggs, I mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class As.

If you could see yourselves... We had it all. We have ****** up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful..."

-Nathan

Cyborg;
n.
A cybernetic organism,
Cyb[ernetic]-org[anism].

Cybran;
n.
A cybernetic human,
Cyb[e]r[netic]-[hum]an.

Nation;
n.
A large body of people united by common descent, history,
Culture, or language, inhabiting a particular state.

Aeon;
n.
Originally meaning life, being, age and/or time,
Now relating to nous, noesis, noema, noumena, noumenon;
The noumenal world-in-itself, eternity and immanence.

The Way;
The philosophy that all should embrace peace.

The Illuminate;
Those who subscribe to The Way.