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Noxx May 2015
It's been three straight days
and I've forgotten the moon
and the calm of night
I haven't been sleeping well
Noxx May 2015
Just tell me to leave.

and I will leave behind the promise we signed in blood

in the past, where you left me
Friendships fading. Really *****.
Noxx May 2015
Sometimes we're just left wondering why
why we do the things we don't want to
why do we go to schools which teach us nothing
why do we try to learn things that don't mean anything to us
why do we force ourselves to go to places
when we'd rather just stay at home

why do we stay with people who leave us alone
or feel nothing while we scream
why do we care so much
for those who care so little
because in the end we cannot blame anyone but ourselves
for the things we do but do not want to
why are we so afraid of breaking the expectations
expectation others set for us for our lives
in the end it is our own lives that pay.
In the end it is our time that is lost
spent on things that meant nothing to us
done for people who we meant nothing to
It's late and I'm losing real friends.
  May 2015 Noxx
Luna
i can't wait
to raise dogs with you
Noxx Apr 2015
I wished to be with you and I wished to be free
but see they told me to only choose one
I could not see what it meant to be free
So I chose you. But choosing you
proved not so true when from your neck
your face turned blue too
Now i see, that to choose you so true
would be to choose “free” but not for me
but free for you and only you.
you deserve better than me and i cant help but be scared and im sorry and i know you loathe me for that but its me ad im sorry for me
Noxx Apr 2015
I've been finding it harder to be sad...
But I know it will be back
and as sure as the sun breaks through
the pitch black of the night sky
on an early Sunday morning
I will not be ready for it. Ever.

I know it's against my rules
to write down names but here goes

••••••••

Just the names that slips my tongue
bleeds happiness so much so that
it numbs me, makes me forget
forget the smell of iron
and makes me forget the many
shades of red that we can make
and instead reminds me of the smell
of freshly cut grass. Reminds me
of the amazing spectrum of
blues, purples, and whites  that
the sky has always had but somehow
remained hidden to me,
faded into the background.

I'm not telling you this to tell you
I'll never get bad again. because
I will. Soon.
My night will come again, dear
and all I ask is that you remain my sun
Giving me distance when it is needed
but never letting me leave your gaze
Always beneath your effervescent glow
You are indeed my Sun ☀
and my Moon ⚫
and all my Stars ★
Thank you for bearing with me
Noxx Mar 2015
I'm tired of seeing my face
I'm tired of waking up
I'm tired of going to sleep
I'm tired of being home
I'm tired of going out
I'm tired of my family
I'm tired of friends
I'm tired of people who don't give a ****
I'm tired of people who do
I'm tired of people
I'm tired of sitting on chair
I'm tired of standing up
I'm tired of standing up for myself
I'm tired of being let down
I'm tired of letting people down
I'm tired of letting myself down
I'm tired of all the colors
I'm tired of the sunrise
I'm tired of the sunset
I'm tired of breathing
I'm tired of talking
I'm tired of eating dinner
I'm tired of eating stew
I'm tired of getting thinner
But I'm still not tired of you.
I'm also not tired of my dogs
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