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jordan Feb 2015
This is not a poem about the poem you've carved into my mind months ago, or how the words somehow reached my bloodstream, or even about the moment I realized that with every heartbeat my body will give, I will always be cursed with a reminder of you and the the things that could've been but never would be. This is not a poem about how I could delete everything we've ever had, but I still cannot erase my feelings I have had for you. This is not a poem about how I cannot forget, or perhaps how I do not wish to forget the only person who made me feel something.

This is not a poem.
*This is regret
jordan Feb 2015
I'm sorry. I love you.

I'm sorry that I love you.
jordan Feb 2015
THREE THINGS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WEREN'T SO AFRAID.**

-talk to him again

-love him again

-finally forget him
jordan Feb 2015
Falling in love is dangerous. For when you fall in love, you pay a price. A price so unrealistic that you simply cannot pull out your checkbook and write down "here is my everything, please handle with care, very fragile" and expect it to cover the debt. No. You give your heart and your soul. Your mind is always cluttered with thoughts of them. Your body tingles when you hear their voice. You become addicted and you expect more and more, so you keep paying until one day, there's nothing left. You're completely theirs and your definition of home…begins with their name.

And just thinking about that is terrifyingly beautiful. Something could happen, and all that will be left of you are tears and a cracked voice to match the holes that cover the walls. Now there is no place to call home, you gave them everything. Someday you will be asked the question of what they returned and you'll reply: "they gave enough to make it seem like a lifetime of happiness, and more importantly, that feeling of love…was infinite."

In the end, there would be pain and you knew this, but you still them your all. You are stronger than you think and believe me when I say you will regain your all back.

Falling in love is dangerous, but you cannot stop it, you cannot slow it down, and you cannot escape it. So it's understandable to be scared, but just know it's okay to take that fall…especially for him.
jordan Feb 2015
Small talk has to be the most torturous thing. I want to know more than a one word description on how your day was. I want to stay up all night listening to when your next doctor appointment is and what it is you hate about yourself. I want you to be comfortable enough with me to tell me the things that keep you up at night. Tell me why, when you're alone, you play your favorite song from 2008. Tell me how it felt to touch her for the last time. Don't hold back, tell me what ****** you off. Tell me what your biggest fear is and what you believe will happen once we die. What is your favorite movie and why do you only root for the bad guys? When do you think the world will end? Who were you before you met me and what do you want to be when you grow up? Do you think a person ever "grows up"? What's your favorite color? Can you describe it without saying the name? What are your pet peeves? Tell me what's going through that mind of yours. Small talk is pointless because I know you have so much more to say
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