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From all these years questioning why I am alone?  Now I can simply answer, it was a choice I made that never made sense since until I see I was behind all closed doors.
Happy new year my feelings and friends here....
Stay happy even alone...
"Don't worry
Be happy"
Bobby tells me

"Don't worry
Don't do it
Be happy"
He tries

"I'm trying
But I can't"
I respond
My head hurts
Fingers throb
Brain overflows

"Don't worry
Be happy"
It's on loop
Like it always is
When I'm anxious
And able to

"When you're worried
Your face will frown
And that will bring
Everybody down"
He explains

"I'm sorry"
I sob
Can't sleep. The world is killing me. Anxiety is filling me. I can't breathe. I can't be. Help...

P.S. sorry I haven't been able to react and see of of everyone's stuff recently.
(This note was written by a tear that cried tears that cried tears that cried)
You called me your princess last Summer
I’m dying in the ice of your gaze
Your Winter Queen
Allergic
to the truth
Immune
to virtues glow
One infection
plagues my soul
Whose cure
— my sin forgoes

(Dreamsleep: December, 2024)
Bipolar, they called it,
the tide within me,
Rising, falling,
a moonlit frenzy.
You, with your papers and promises made,
Couldn’t meet the storm;
your respect decayed,
And I, adrift,
watched the world betray me.
Jesus, why am i like this?
Why does nostalgia run
Through my veins like
It should be there,
If the feeling leaves,
I would probably miss
It too.
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