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 Mar 29 Maria Leslie
Sam S
Growth is an ache, not a gentle stretch,
a breaking open, not a quiet bloom.
It is shedding skin that clings too tight,
the sting of air on what was once concealed.

You tell yourself to swallow it down,
to press the weight of feeling into silence,
as if strength is the absence of pain,
as if numbness is wisdom.

But the dam cracks.
A flood will always find its way,
rushing through the spaces you ignored,
drowning the quiet you mistook for peace.

You cannot rise while buried alive.
You must sit in the mess of yourself,
let the grief, the rage, the joy, the longing
unfold their lessons in your hands.

For to feel is to know,
and to know is to grow—
not in comfort, not in ease,
but in truth
 Mar 24 Maria Leslie
madrid
totoo and sinasabi nila
na sa segundong mawalan ka
ng pakialam sa mundo ay bigla nalang itong
magpapakita ng pakialam sayo
na sa oras na maglaho sa iyong pansin ang tagtuyo
biglaan nalang iiyak ang mga ulap para sayo
na sa sandaling binitawan mo ang kamay
ng gusto ng makawala
darating ang ibang kamay na hahawak muli nito
ng mas mahigpit, totoo
ang sinasabi nila

tila mahirap lang maniwala
sa sabi-sabi, sa haka-haka
dahil hindi nga naman ikaw ang nakatayo sa sapatos nila
tiwala

tiwala sa pag-angat ng araw na hindi ka nito bibiguin
tiwala sa iyong pag-dasal sa mga bituin na
kumukuti-kutitap sa gitna ng dilim, ang buwan
na sa mga pagkakataong wala ng pag-asa
ay kakantahan ka ng may bukas pa, totoo
ang sinasabi nila

oo
darating ang mga araw na bigla ka nalang mapapaiyak
sa tuwa, sa lungkot
sa paglisan ng taong iniikutan ng buhay mo
darating ang mga araw na bigla ka nalang mapapaluhod
dahil wala ka ng magawa at wala ka ng matawagan
pero tatandaan mo na hindi ka nag-iisa
dahil nandito ako, ako

ako na kailan ma'y minahal, nagmamahal, at magmamahal sayo
kumapit ka lang
sa aking kamay
sa aking balikat
sa aking katawan
na kahit ulanan ng pasa at sugat
ay ibinibigay ko sayo
ng buong buo

uulitin ko, totoo
ang sinasabi nila
na sa gitna ng kawalan
sa gitna ng pagsuko
sa gitna ng pagbitaw
ito mismo ang maghahanap sayo
siya mismo ang maghahanap sayo
darating at darating ang parte nitong kwento
na bubuo sayo
at muli nanamang iikot ang iyong mundo
pero sa ngayon, sa dito, sa oras na ito
habang naghihintay ka pa,
ay mali pala, dahil hindi tayo maghihintay
at hindi tumigil ang pagtakbo ng oras sa buhay na ito
dahil maliwanag pa sa bumbilya ang kamalian ng nakaraan
bitawan mo lang
at hayaan mo kong isatupad ang aking mga pangako
hindi kita iiwanan, tiwala
magtiwala ka lang

sa huling pagkakataon,
uulitin ko, totoo
ang sinasabi nila
hindi ka nagbubulagbulagan
kundi pinagkakatiwalaan mo lang ako
ng buong isip at buong puso, ako
ako na nagtiwala rin sa Kanya
ako na hindi umasa, ngunit
humawak sa salita ng aking Ama, ako
ito ang tatandaan mo
para sa mga gabing isinisigaw ang mga kaisipang nagtatago mula sa liwanag
para sa mga bukang liwayway na  nagpupumilit humagap ng init ng araw ngunit hindi mahagip ang tapang upang bitawan ang lamig ng gabi
I mind me in the days departed,
How often underneath the sun
With childish bounds I used to run
  To a garden long deserted.

The beds and walks were vanish’d quite;
And wheresoe’er had struck the *****,
The greenest grasses Nature laid,
  To sanctify her right.

I call’d the place my wilderness,
For no one enter’d there but I.
The sheep look’d in, the grass to espy,
  And pass’d it ne’ertheless.

The trees were interwoven wild,
And spread their boughs enough about
To keep both sheep and shepherd out,
  But not a happy child.

Adventurous joy it was for me!
I crept beneath the boughs, and found
A circle smooth of mossy ground
  Beneath a poplar-tree.

Old garden rose-trees hedged it in,
Bedropt with roses waxen-white,
Well satisfied with dew and light,
  And careless to be seen.

Long years ago, it might befall,
When all the garden flowers were trim,
The grave old gardener prided him
  On these the most of all.

Some Lady, stately overmuch,
Here moving with a silken noise,
Has blush’d beside them at the voice
  That liken’d her to such.

Or these, to make a diadem,
She often may have pluck’d and twined;
Half-smiling as it came to mind,
  That few would look at them.

O, little thought that Lady proud,
A child would watch her fair white rose,
When buried lay her whiter brows,
  And silk was changed for shroud!—

Nor thought that gardener (full of scorns
For men unlearn’d and simple phrase)
A child would bring it all its praise,
  By creeping through the thorns!

To me upon my low moss seat,
Though never a dream the roses sent
Of science or love’s compliment,
  I ween they smelt as sweet.

It did not move my grief to see
The trace of human step departed:
Because the garden was deserted,
  The blither place for me!

Friends, blame me not! a narrow ken
Hath childhood ‘twixt the sun and sward:
We draw the moral afterward—
  We feel the gladness then.

And gladdest hours for me did glide
In silence at the rose-tree wall:
A thrush made gladness musical
  Upon the other side.

Nor he nor I did e’er incline
To peck or pluck the blossoms white:—
How should I know but that they might
  Lead lives as glad as mine?

To make my hermit-home complete,
I brought clear water from the spring
Praised in its own low murmuring,
  And cresses glossy wet.

And so, I thought, my likeness grew
(Without the melancholy tale)
To ‘gentle hermit of the dale,’
  And Angelina too.

For oft I read within my nook
Such minstrel stories; till the breeze
Made sounds poetic in the trees,
  And then I shut the book.

If I shut this wherein I write,
I hear no more the wind athwart
Those trees, nor feel that childish heart
  Delighting in delight.

My childhood from my life is parted,
My footstep from the moss which drew
Its fairy circle round: anew
  The garden is deserted.

Another thrush may there rehearse
The madrigals which sweetest are;
No more for me!—myself afar
  Do sing a sadder verse.

Ah me! ah me! when erst I lay
In that child’s-nest so greenly wrought,
I laugh’d unto myself and thought,
  ‘The time will pass away.’

And still I laugh’d, and did not fear
But that, whene’er was pass’d away
The childish time, some happier play
  My womanhood would cheer.

I knew the time would pass away;
And yet, beside the rose-tree wall,
Dear God, how seldom, if at all,
  Did I look up to pray!

The time is past: and now that grows
The cypress high among the trees,
And I behold white sepulchres
  As well as the white rose,—

When wiser, meeker thoughts are given,
And I have learnt to lift my face,
Reminded how earth’s greenest place
  The colour draws from heaven,—

It something saith for earthly pain,
But more for heavenly promise free,
That I who was, would shrink to be
  That happy child again.
Which is the weakest thing of all
Mine heart can ponder?
The sun, a little cloud can pall
With darkness yonder?
The cloud, a little wind can move
Where’er it listeth?
The wind, a little leaf above,
Though sere, resisteth?

What time that yellow leaf was green,
My days were gladder;
But now, whatever Spring may mean,
I must grow sadder.
Ah me! a leaf with sighs can wring
My lips asunder—
Then is mine heart the weakest thing
Itself can ponder.

Yet, Heart, when sun and cloud are pined
And drop together,
And at a blast, which is not wind,
The forests wither,
Thou, from the darkening deathly curse
To glory breakest,—
The Strongest of the universe
Guarding the weakest!
I tell you hopeless grief is passionless,
That only men incredulous of despair,
Half-taught in anguish, through the midnight air
Beat upward to God’s throne in loud access
Of shrieking and reproach. Full desertness
In souls, as countries, lieth silent-bare
Under the blanching, vertical eye-glare
Of the absolute heavens. Deep-hearted man, express
Grief for thy dead in silence like to death—
Most like a monumental statue set
In everlasting watch and moveless woe
Till itself crumble to the dust beneath.
Touch it; the marble eyelids are not wet;
If it could weep, it could arise and go.
The moon in the bureau mirror
looks out a million miles
(and perhaps with pride, at herself,
but she never, never smiles)
far and away beyond sleep, or
perhaps she's a daytime sleeper.

By the Universe deserted,
she'd tell it to go to hell,
and she'd find a body of water,
or a mirror, on which to dwell.
So wrap up care in a cobweb
and drop it down the well

into that world inverted
where left is always right,
where the shadows are really the body,
where we stay awake all night,
where the heavens are shallow as the sea
is now deep, and you love me.
 Mar 23 Maria Leslie
ZT
Cheater
 Mar 23 Maria Leslie
ZT
Sila na nagkasala
Sila pa ang galit
Kahit ikaw sana tong nabahala
Dahil ikaw ay pinagpalit

Dating tiwala ay sinira
Nung kabit ay kanyang tinira
Tapos ngayong nahuli
Parang ikaw pa ang may mali

Kesyo, bat ka raw nag eskandalo
Sa harap pa ng pamilya
Ng kinakasama
Ng ASAWA Mo

Siya pa ngayon ang galit
Kasi ikaw daw ay nagbitaw ng mga salitang mapanakit
Di ka naman daw sana ganyan dati
Dahil dati kaw daw ay mabait

Pero di ba nya mapagtanto
Kung bakit ikaw ay nagkaganto
Dahil sa labis na pangagago
Na dinulot ng sariling asawa mo
Affected lang sa napanood na korean series. Masyadon kainis si guy. Cheater na nga, xa pa ang galit.
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