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M Crux Alexander Apr 2015
I'm dreaming
seamless
visions surround me
your arms around me
once again
   and until the end
let us be friends
until the Earth burns
   around us
   and within us
Let the sun consume
   our promised flesh
and allow the moon
to marry the rest
within a night of screaming souls
our world is old
so starts anew
our scorched supernova
revolves around you.
070304~9a
Realizing that I'm not with the one whom I'm destined. I'm dreaming of my true love...and wishing it were real. (years later, we are finally together.)
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
My love for you
is endless as time
You give me hope
You inspire my rhyme
You're the only goddess
I've ever met
I need you forever within my arms,
My adored
Juliet

041210~7.1a
M Crux Alexander Apr 2015
Into a new world I came
brimming with energy
clear of my shame
yet, it rises again
as the sickness sets in
the bile of reason
still clinging to my throat
I spit out my choices
that burn as I choke
I'm no more a man
than the million I hate
My old condemning voice
laughing in my face
The rotten stench
of judgemental purity
haunting my senses
with hell's fiery fury
And stand, I must
and full-on face
the horror of selfish choices
that pull me into my grave
But why stop there?
On my back with heaven open
the stars cry deep
to fill my tomb
but it would not be justice
to die in the womb
Mother embraces, as she births,
nurtures, and finally claims
every life is equal
every death the same
It is those who destroy
that do not belong
there are too many tears
and too few songs
My circular path of destruction
has isolated me alone
beneath the charred remains
the seed of life lay unsown.
081103~7p
calling myself out on *******.
M Crux Alexander May 2015
I have been feeling a faint gradient creeping
darker into my life the past few weeks.
Maybe, in the depths of our unbreakable,
unknown sub-earthly ties,
you are infecting me again
with your violently sweet muses.

I revel
in light-buzzed day-fantasies
of when I would lay naked,
pouring out my soul in mixes
of alcohol & your breath's lull.

No one has ever spoken to me
without speaking
or touch me so deeply
with only breathing.

Your presence is eternal within
me, no matter how quiet the storm becomes.

The eye of your fury
brings only silence and calm.
Bursting forth within a Lycian resonance,
memories flood my soul;
your skin stains my eyes
and my hands dance forth
with another remembrance of who we were
and who we will always be.

Even time does not separate what blood has joined.
You will always flow through me
deeper than life, and more truthful than I can see.

072706~5p
M Crux Alexander Mar 2015
This morning when I woke
I didn't wanna let you go
my hands cried for your skin
My eyes soaked up your view
Gentle caress
An undisturbed slumber
settling back in to sleep with you

070113 ~ 5.4p
Calling in late never felt so good.
M Crux Alexander Mar 2015
Sweet sensuality
my lover is queen
A heaven within her
a fallen angel redeemed
Addictive sweet nectar
passionately exposed
A view conquering sunsets
on her back she lay posed
Mouth watering for a taste
hands dying for a touch
Reining back haste
because I want her so much

The rest of my life
dedicated to my goddess
Hell has been quenched
in deference to her hotness
Tonight, I take my fill
and **** my little girl
(as though against her will)
and rock her ***** world

070313 ~ 10.49a
**** words for a **** lover.
M Crux Alexander Mar 2015
You create such beautiful dreams
you tear me open and kiss the seams
My heart exposed for all to see
It's a beautiful vulnerability
because my goddess is with me
Nothing compares to how I feel
since our love became tangibly real
All of my dreams and hopes and desires
became an effigy when you lit me on fire
Burning for you and all that you are
I feel like a phoenix, seen from afar
Reliving life in honor of you
Surviving a wildfire, life begins anew
Glowing with life and desire to live
You sustain my life with the love you give.

070513 ~ 10.10a
M Crux Alexander Mar 2015
Seeing the beauty of a sunrise
in your gorgeous sleepy eyes
I want you more than I ever realized
Touching you deeply
intensely and keeping
you all to myself.
Life without you
would surely be hell.

070813 ~6.53a
M Crux Alexander Mar 2015
There's more to life than work and heat
like tasting the way our lips softly meet
Desire rising like summer degrees
Can't wait to be between your knees
Patient and focused within a heat wave
Knowing you are all that I could possibly crave
Tasting your lips briefly, sweet yesterday
Driving me crazy to have my way
But I wait for cooler temps in store
It won't be long, just a few days more
God, I ******* love you like I've never dreamed
I feel like a fallen angel, finally redeemed.

070213 ~9.21a
M Crux Alexander Apr 2015
Knowing that I can
Knowing what I am
Am I nothing more
than a wolf with a lamb?
...playing so precise
delaying to entice
my ****** appetite
Visions of incisions
to betray my true intentions
nothing means more
than for you to be delicious.
Straining in protest
I love it when you fight!
Knowing I'll ingest you...
but first, that painfully sweet bite.
Rakes down my back
inseminating your nails
the flames forcing me deeper
together in our hell.
playing with a willing partner
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
I died last night
and I saw you there
My eyes were focused on
your long, dark hair
   I died last night
   It wasn't a dream
   It's so much hotter
   than it may seem
I died last night
It was just you and I
Naked and aflame
under a starless sky
   I died last night
   and your eyes led me there
   Close to your love
   Closer to where...
I died last night
under the still, full moon
I was inside you
Midnight til Noon
   I died last night
   and I saw your face
   You were always waiting
   ...just at a different place
I died last night
and I felt your skin
wrapped so tightly
around me again
   I died last night
   and I breathed your breath
   You took my pain until
   only love was left
I died last night
and for you, I was saved
My goddess now holds
the rest of my days.

040510~1.23p
*meant to be sung.
Dying metaphorically, of course. Leaving who I once was & becoming someone new, someone better, someone full of a new love and life.
M Crux Alexander Apr 2015
Look at me now
all tossed & turned
bitten & spurned
like I forgot how
that I painfully learned
those lessons of life
straight from a knife
And from that night
was kindled a light
that strengethted & grew
that guided me through
tho' darkness consumed
I always knew
that you,
my darkness,
were never through
with me
082603~7.18p
M Crux Alexander Apr 2015
Lost
     Lovers
          Losing
               Linguistic
                    Lusts...
Is this us?
forever tied
     to the tongues'
          receding tide
Lying on our backs
     staring into the sky
Letting the salt wash over
our sentimental dreams
I think I'm saying good-bye.
080304~6.04p
Torn trying to salvage a (doomed) relationship when the one I love is also in a long term relationship with someone else. It was hard. My heart pulling me in a different direction than everything else I knew I was supposed to do. I tried saying good-bye (it didn't work.)
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
Searching
blindly in the dark
Feeling for your softness
and the embrace of your heart
Your eyes open like light
giving shape to my world
filling it with beauty
like spring petals uncurled
Murmurs of sweetness
drip from your lips
Pressing mine to your face
lingering...as the time slips
slowly into a sultry sunrise.
062415~7.18a
Waking with a kiss
M Crux Alexander Aug 2015
I love you more
than stealing stars to shine
I love you more
now that you are mine.
I love you more
than the wind can say,
"I love you more
than the air today."
I love you more
than I could ever prove
but, I'll never stop writing
how much I love you.

051810~2.37p
M Crux Alexander Feb 2015
Patiently waiting
for you in my arms
Distance is fading
with morning alarms
Hands wrapped tightly
pulling you closer in
I've longed for you nightly
Feeling such hunger as I did back then
You'll always be my goddess
Always the one I adore
To me, you're **** and the hottest
I'm counting the hours til you walk through our door

122713 ~ 7.15a
M Crux Alexander Oct 2015
You turn moments into flaming time
Air to passion; your flesh becomes mine
I'm alive in a way I've never existed
Any desire no longer resisted

You belong to me outside of time
Forever beautiful and forever mine
My goddess is the one who set me free
I am finally alive now that she
is with me.

052710~10.55p
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
My mind truly never leaves you
you give me such peace
the only wish I still pray for
is your desire for me to never cease

022410~7.08a

In reply:
As I open my eyes to the gentle light
My thoughts remain in their rightful place
The touch from your hands
The look on your face
My body yielding to the remains
of our last embrace
My heart held safe in the knowledge
that my love is where it should be
And knowing that you love me.

-Lesa Renee 022410~7.5a
The start of my "Morning Prayers" project that lasted a few years. I free-wrote a poem every morning before work for the love of my life.
M Crux Alexander Feb 2015
Loving the way we intertwine
our hearts and limbs and minds
Lying together, hearts beating as one;
so easy to feel that forever's begun
I'll never leave without taking you, too
Without my goddess,
there's no reason to go through
another lovely sunrise
not reflected in your eyes.

082713 ~ 8.34a
"Morning Prayers" is a group of poems that comprise a writing exercise that I undertook for a few years. I would write a poem at least 5 days a week, first thing in the morning, devoted to my lover. Sometimes I would really surprise myself.
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
Flake on everything
the perfect day
Hide within my goddess and
**** the day away.
Sometimes, the only thing I want is to be alone
with my love and our passion;
have food delivered & silence the phones.
A vacation of love...in a fashion.  :j
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
I am left defenseless
in a barrage of lust
My love has overtaken
all that's not us.

I dream you
I breathe in your want
I wake and I need you
a little more than before
You are my goddess
my coveted little *****
You give me everything
and I spank you for more
I hold you down
when you need to leave
I steal your breath
when you need to breathe
I love my goddess
when you're on your knees
Close your eyes
and see only me
I am the god
in which you'll believe.
040110~7.3a
a little ***** D/s irreligious fun  :]
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
I love you more
than my breath can breathe
I want you harder
than my heart can beat.

043010~6.44a
Simple. Direct. True.
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
I'm so tired this morning
from dreaming so hard
I closed my eyes so tightly
dreading to wake apart
031510~6.42a

Response
Phantom shadows in my periphery
Wandering memories haunting me
Your lingering touch upon my skin
The fading feeling of you within
Light of day comes all too fast
When all I want is this dream to last.

-Lesa Renee 031510~8.03a
oh, that delicious wanting & missing.
M Crux Alexander Aug 2015
Waking this dawn
the fire flickers on
Rekindling the flame
ever-burning in your name
The light from your love
wakes me with smiles
You are always near me
though distanced by miles
Knowing you are coming
to see me today
brings hope within longing
in the most beautiful way.
052010~6.3a
M Crux Alexander Sep 2015
I was alone last night
but, within dreams I found you.
You comforted and kept me
all to yourself and never left me.
Held tight to the *****
of the goddess I adore;
My lifelong lover
could never love me more.
I am saturated in desire
for what she gives,
how she smells and who she is.
My goddess, my temptress,
my exquisite lover, divine;
You are the world to me
and you are Mine.
052515~6.34a
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
You are mine
until the end of time
I will boldly cheat Death
in this eternal love crime

042610~8.08a
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
My mind finds you
before my eyes find the morning
My lips still plead for your skin
with leftover good-night kisses.
Hands reach out
to cover the sheets, to feel you near....
A morning unconscious
ritual of need
searching for the goddess
who belongs with me.

030210~6.37a
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
My chest pounds louder
each moment we're apart
A day seems a deafening eternity
without your mouth on my heart
I miss you, my goddess,
come speak with your love
Come crashing down around me
as oceans from above.

042610~6.51a
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
My goddess bestows
sweet, sensual dreams
the world could never know
what pleasure she brings
I pray to her ***
with every breath
my heart is devoted
with every beat left

051215@6.34a
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
Your image burns
eternal in my mind
Luscious lustful flame
melting through my rhyme
You illuminate my pages
and heat my quill
The passion for my muse
rages hotter, still.

031010~6.21a
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
Opening my eyes to reality
and finding you're not around me
I crush my eyes closed
and wait for my heart to slow
I'll find you when sleeping soundly.

050310~6.35a
This was not an intentional limerick--I suppose my muse had other plans.
M Crux Alexander Oct 2015
The strands of your hair left in my bed
The smell of your body on my sheets
Your beautiful noises and what you said
There's nothing about you I don't need

Your muffled sounds of pleasure lingering
throughout everything in this dawn
You bring me more pleasure than anything
There's no greater love to wish upon
060210~7.23a
M Crux Alexander Sep 2015
As I wake and walk in this torrent
I am filled with your love.
Soaked through
with every bit of me
loving you.
You tease and you play
with hips of heaven
and lips of promises
I'm still excited
...still in love,
and forever will be
for the rest of my days.

052610~6.33a
Walking to the train in the early morning in the pouring rain. It's dark, cold and wet...and all I can think about is the warmth of her love.
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
To the lovely goddess
who turns my gaze and
captures my heart
for the rest of our days:

I love you, I love you
I'll say it forever
We're a storm of passion
within inclimate weather
I see your eyes
Like I see the sun rise
I wish every dawn
you'd bleed across my sky
Illuminating hope
with the rest of your life
My old world ends
within your light

030510~7.15a
M Crux Alexander Jul 2015
Waking is so hard
The sky blackish-blue
Eyes fluttering to open
All desires are of you.

0140510~040510~6.22a
M Crux Alexander Aug 2015
You've captured me completely
with your skin and eyes
the way you feel sets me afire
and how you see me
burns your love into my presence
with an ever-hot brand
bearing our names and promises of forever.
You excite me and sooth me
The very idea of us
moves me
You are the One, dear Lesa,
who will always be my goddess
Who will walk in my heavens
and sleep within the depths
of my endless adoration.
051710~7.43a
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
The flowering trees
snowing
in the morning breeze

The moon illuminates
knowing
you are in love with me

My brisk morning walk
breathing
feeling you inside

Before the sun wakes
needing
your touch in my life.

030310~6.29a
M Crux Alexander Apr 2015
I miss the lesions
   miss the scars
   fresh & bleeding
   like soothing arms
   enclosing tight
   wrapping the pain
     in the rapture of night

My wine's heat
surfaces the memories
I've kept beneath
my high wall of stone
But, tonight
the trees are gone
and the grapes are ripe
& the wine in my mind
grasps its time
to spill my verse
like rain upon the Earth
falling on my pages
the truth is clear
- unadulterated -
like my passion.
It, too, is caged
too fierce, too strong
like a lion, enraged
trapped in mediocrity
within my rib cage
Now, it roars
usually, howls
when can it soar?
Where are you now?
122303~6.57p
writing about writing & how wine facilitates my muse to be raw & unfiltered (unlike herb, which directs to more creative & introspective muse.) Some verses reference back a line, as though it's the last line of the previous verse & first of the new. I know--a little confusing.
M Crux Alexander Mar 2015
E. E. Cummings (1894 - 1962)

my love
thy hair is one kingdom
the king whereof is darkness
thy forehead is a flight of flowers

thy head is a quick forest
filled with sleeping birds
thy ******* are swarms of white bees
upon the bough of thy body
thy body to me is April
in whose armpits is the approach of spring

thy thighs are white horses yoked to a chariot
of kings
they are the striking of a good minstrel
between them is always a pleasant song

my love
thy head is a casket
of the cool jewel of thy mind
the hair of thy head is one warrior
innocent of defeat
thy hair upon thy shoulders is an army
with victory and with trumpets

thy legs are the trees of dreaming
whose fruit is the very eatage of forgetfulness

thy lips are satraps in scarlet
in whose kiss is the combinings of kings
thy wrists
are holy
which are the keepers of the keys of thy blood
thy feet upon thy ankles are flowers in vases
of silver

in thy beauty is the dilemma of flutes

thy eyes are the betrayal
of bells comprehended through incense

E. E. Cummings (1894 - 1962)
One of my fav poems & poets.
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
My lips parch without your kiss
My lungs drown without your breath
My hearing quiets to whispers, and
My eyes can see   only what's left:
My unending, uncompromising need for you.

032910~7.24a
M Crux Alexander Feb 2015
Never again
without your breath
to infuse your love
into everything left
I gave so much
that belonged to you
Anything I could do
to just get through
I was starving
without your touch
Hardened
by hurting too much
Too young to to know
what I really had
in a Goddess that gave
to everything we made

Finally, you're mine
and you'll always be
until the end of time
I'll keep you with me

Even when my breath fades,
my love will evolve to another shade
Drifting & searching
through sunsets and dawns
to lie within your eternal arms

022514 ~ 11a
M Crux Alexander May 2015
Now, forever with
the one true for me
Time's slow gift
took so long to see:
Our hearts wouldn't shift
no matter how free
or how wide the rift
or how deep the sea.

050115~1.36p
I finally found her after so many years apart
nothing had changed but the strength of our heart.
It was, after all, the one we shared.

Response to poem:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1175008/reaching-out-after-years/
M Crux Alexander Feb 2015
Longing for you
in the late mornings
Trapped in formality
behind Formica and a paycheck

I just want you
within my arms
when I want you

I don't wanna wait
when the desire comes
to kiss your face
and hold you tight
to spend the day
pretending it's night

No other arms
will ever feel right

031214 ~ 7.05a
M Crux Alexander Feb 2015
Life is hard and work is long
So many things to come between us
Misunderstandings and different ways to live
Disagreements on when to take and when to give,
When to fight and when to yield
Sometimes we're a sword when the other needs a shield
But learning and forgiving is how we make it through
Even when the romance seems to have fallen, too
You will always be my lover, always keeping me alive
I will always be here for you,
Hungry for the times
When things are peaceful
And you're in my arms.

101513 ~ 9.53a
"Morning Prayers" is a group of poems that comprise a writing exercise that I undertook for a few years. I would write a poem at least 5 days a week, first thing in the morning, devoted to my lover. Sometimes I would really surprise myself.
M Crux Alexander Apr 2015
Alone,
in the breath of Mother, I pace
I wait.
I know of her coming;
it is inside me.
She is inside me.
Yet, I have never smelled her scent,
nor drank of her life.
I know of her like I know of the moon.
     I am pulled
into her path.
Years of flesh
could never wash away my hunger for her.
Even the sweetest cries of fallen prey
do not take
my mind from the moment
when we will finally meet.
It is my destiny.
My desire.

I lay here on the earth,
my body hidden.
My breathing shallow.
I can feel her near.
Years of waiting,
of feeling the slightest bit closer,
every moment has come to this.
I will be patient, still.

Faint sounds perk my ears,
drawing my attention to the distance.
My mind smells fear,
though I am nowhere near.
I am invisible.
The unseen.

Leaves rustle and my dark beauty emerges.
My heart slows,
for my instincts say NOW
But, I have waited so long,
I will relish this torture.

She is cautious and wary.
Eyes darting, knowing,
yet not seeing.
I am here, my love
Yet, silence is my steed.
I will be upon her before dawn.
Slowly, she creeps away.
Even slower, I follow.
She is never from my sight.
Never again
will her scent be an unknown memory.

Moment by moment
I feel her heartbeat stronger.
Am I getting closer?
No...I am further away.
I can hear her heart beat within my own.
Flutters within me
I have never known
tell me...tell me this is not my pulse.
It is hers, becoming mine.
As her blood will soon flow through me.
She shall strengthen me like no other.
She will complete me.

The forest grows thin
as we move towards light.
This is not my home.
Here, I do not feel right.
I feel like an intruder, a beast.
But, I cannot stop.
I am committed to this.
My life will continue
with her a part of me
or it will remain here and die.
So, I pursue.
       I hunt.
Closer I stalk,
narrowing the distance between my meal and I.
My hunger growls,
yet my throat does not.
The time nears that will join us into one.
Closer...              closer...            closer....
She stops and freezes.
She knows I am near.
Can she feel me as I do her?
Has her life been foreshadowed with my coming?
Does her body ache
or does it tremble in fear?
All that I am wishes to be nearer.

She moves...I take the moment to narrow the gap.
We are closer now than ever before.
I am the demon who shall devour this lamb.
I am the wolf,
I will consume her forever.

I smell her fear through my skin.
She calls to me...
to sink my teeth within
her voluptuous hide.
She freezes and turns my way.
How could she see me?
No, her gaze passes over me.
She just knows I am here.
As she turns away,
I spring from the ground.
I hear her cries as I fly through the air.

Finally, I am upon her!
Her cries muffled by my weight.
My teeth sinking into her neck.
Sweet, warm life
flowing down my throat
as I pin her harder to the ground.
She struggles violently.
Desperate for freedom
that she will never taste again.
She is mine!
Completely and irrevocably mine.
The more she struggles,
the deeper my bite sinks inside her.
Her passion flows hot into my throat.
Her body convulses as imminent death dawns.
Her heart synchs stronger with mine
as they pulse violently to Death's cadence.
Slowly, yielding, she gives herself to me.
Her body, her breath, her mind, her ***.
I drain them all and take her in.
I tear her skin, rip her flesh coming in.
I devour her life and her heart I win.

042704~8.2p
This is about raw, consensual emotional pursuit expressed in an allegory of a wolf hunting a lamb. Some is very raw, very primal, horrific..and that's how nature is. It is not intended to be direct correlations, but more the spirit of the pursuit from a hungry carnivore that knows only instincts. The woman is the love of my life, with whom I was in a LDR over the internet in the early 90's. We had limited contact and I drew upon this longing and desire to embody the wolf's hunger.
Whether you want to call this a poem or not is ok with me. Call it prose if you like. It was expressed from the same place that poetry flows within me.
M Crux Alexander Apr 2015
Poet inside:
  help me verse
  my deepest hurts
  and carry the lies
  upon the wind of my stormy skies.
looking for my muse
M Crux Alexander May 2015
I find that,
           sometimes,
a rhyme helps
           soothe me.
An internal,
       verbal assurance
that there's still
        something beautiful
inside me.

033009~5.1p
At times, it was all I had.
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
Prayers to a distant goddess
Herbal offerings blazed
Time passes so slowly
within a starving priest's haze

011810
Good god I miss her. This love is like religion without the lies.
M Crux Alexander Jun 2015
My love for you
grows deeper and faster
As a stream narrows
through winding pasture.
Seemingly calm
so slow and serene
Yet, torrents rage
just underneath....

021210 ~ 7.05a
M Crux Alexander May 2015
I want to reach out
pull you back
     into my life
To bear the obligatory
     anger
to revisit the reasons
I shut us out
Both selfish and selfless
because I love you
     and because I still love you.
Because happiness for you
was threatened by me
because however selfishly I wanted
and because it is never to be.
You are a dream, an ideal
an immortal muse
that should not be real.
But, selfishly, I desire.
Selfishly, I'm weak.
Because god ******* ******
I need you to speak!
I need those words that ignite passion inside me
I need the sound of your breath
so that I may breathe.
I need the stare that
looks deep, then down and away...;
that bitten lip....
that timeless face.
We share stomach scars
and we stared at silent stars
I miss the intensity
   that Distance knew as ours.
I need the unique bond
I've only found with you,
my inspiration.
     My goddess
          my friend,
               my muse.

033109~5.03p
This is the poem I mentioned in my profile. It came to me after a VERY long unmotivated time in my life where I barely wrote. I was very inspired, thinking of my long lost love and where she could be. We are now together and have found our destiny.
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