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LucidLucy Nov 2016
**** traffic for taking too much time on your hands.
**** those happy couples passing by your way.
**** that stupid shirt you always get to wear out of hundreds of **** shirts.
**** that person you dont want to see on the worst day but you see anyway.
**** your pride when it's too tall to fall.
**** older people for not understanding but were never short on judging.
**** your friends when they are too selfish and stupid most of the time.
**** yourself for always giving a ****.
**** this feeling that should have not stayed but never bother leave today.
**** my heart would one day just explode with all these madness.
**** you when I cant find you.
**** you when I wanted just one touch from you.
**** what would I do if I was still able to hold you.
**** me for taking myself for granted.
**** myself for being the ***** that is unwanted.
**** me for not putting much effort.
**** me for not being a good sport.
**** me for loving myself way too short.
**** this sadness that's eating me whole.
**** today I've never felt this alone.
my eyes do not well with tears. i'm too weak to face my fears. i am built of stone cold exterior and shattered glass interior. i'm afraid i'd break down one of these days. so I pray that these words turn to a big smiley face.
LucidLucy Apr 2017
When I start thinking of you,
will you think of me too?
LucidLucy Oct 2016
And once again I say goodnight,
to the two pillows that will hug me tonight.
LucidLucy Feb 2017
Tonight I'd cry tears for both my happiness and sadness in knowing that the only love I have for someone will never be paid back its worth.
to have loved than none at all.
LucidLucy Aug 2017
I struggle everyday to find you.
Yet once I do, I always end up losing you.
Love harder
LucidLucy Nov 2016
how can a person be so needy and insensitive at the same time?
please, explain.
LucidLucy Dec 2016
I have a ton of things in my head which I think will help me forget you.
But someone told me I must deal with the pain.
So I said I have.
And so far it's been really hard.
LucidLucy Mar 2017
Is this a momentary passing?
Forgetting what you're missing,
Running and never regretting.
Looking at trees for the first time.
And thinking how weirdly alive they look.
I felt like a newly bought old book.
I kept replaying the same old scenes.
Familiarizing the pain of seeing you leave.
Everyday I lie to forget how miserable it feels.
But then I go back seeing the trees.
How those leaves move as the wind breeze.
How they come alive under the light of a tall post in the dark of the night.
Ironicaly reminding me of hope despite a dark fight.
And all of a sudden I feel my inside smiling.
I look up and saw one star in the night sky shining.
Once again I am humbled to be reminded.
There's one star in the vast of the sky still shining.
That could mean love, hope and happiness all at His proper timing.
Happy.
LucidLucy Aug 2017
No one would know these pains.
When you hide them amongst millions worth of gain.
LucidLucy Nov 2016
i'm so sore.
i just dont care anymore.
beginning of a love song.
LucidLucy Dec 2016
getting out of your own pity party,
and saying "hello" to everybody.
LucidLucy Oct 2016
Today I heard Hope.

Hope that letting you go is okay.
That probably we'll meet again someday.
That not knowing what fully happened is totally fine.
Because probably God had better things defined.

Oh, what I'll do to hold those hands again.
See that smile on your cheek.
Or the way your eye shines when I try to act smart and make you squeak.
Babe, what happened between us I can't fully recall.
Maybe that's my heart responding to a broken call.
Or maybe my mind had played tricks on me.
And does not want the good memories to leave me.

Anyhow I'm moving on.

As I turn I carry this hope.
No grudges, no faults.
No bad things in the past nor the good stuff I still anticipate.
As I sleep tonight I'll erase them all like a day's waste.

As I rise in the morning I know I'll smile.
Because for months I forgot how it's been to wake up weightless and happy at the same time.

Best of life to both of us.
Again, I loved you but I will no longer be dwelling in the past.
to God who gave me hope in knowing that better things are yet to come.

to finally letting go of the past.

to cheering for the future.
LucidLucy Nov 2016
Sa kakaisip sayo,
pati payong naiwan ko.
LucidLucy Oct 2017
I guess the hardest part was to look another guy in the eye and tell him you are fine.
When it has always been you and our memories that's flooding my mind.
You know when its real.
LucidLucy Oct 2016
I only keep three message history on my phone:
my parents.
my brother.
and that last conversation we had months ago.
LucidLucy Dec 2016
The breeze were cool tonight.
I was tempted to walk home all night.
This season reminds me of so much love once felt now lost.
And as I walk those roads I walked beside your ghost.
to making it this year barely breathing and all the way dying. breaking and picking up your heart in pieces while we slash off another year in the calendar.
LucidLucy Dec 2016
****.*

I need my ****** back.
Keeping your **** together ain't easy when every end of the day, you are alone with only thoughts and paintings on your wall.
LucidLucy Jan 2017
This is my thought about what's happening.
If the world is to end today,
I'd still choose to sit by your side while all things tear away.
LucidLucy Oct 2016
Tendencies.
And what if analogies.
LucidLucy Nov 2016
Looking I picked.
Walking you came.
Us together, not a game.

I'm pushing, felt like winning.
You're pulling, pulling me close.

Yesterday we were strangers.
Today were practically endangered.

Your smile tells it all.
How I can basically trap you in a hall.
I can **** you in a stare.
And *love you like no one dare.
LucidLucy Sep 2017
****, you give the softest touch.
I felt secured as you hold my back.
I can walk forever with you by my side.
It felt so real, I dont want to leave.
It felt so real, I just want to stay asleep.
Futurama
LucidLucy Sep 2017
The enemy wont have any hold on me.
The biggest problem is lying within me.
Vices I so excitedly flaunt about.
Thoughts I keep yet have been screaming out loud.
Things I kneel for every night.
Stuff that brings about my every fright.
The enemy does not know ******* me.
And I'd win this battle as greatly expected.
Then I'd die slowly keeping all my secrets slowly stabbing and dragging me.
Thyself
LucidLucy Aug 2017
You break my heart every time you smile.
I see your future every time I look you in the eye.
I would never be one of those girls you are destined to be with.
But dont forget, pretty faces dont always have wit.
Lie lie and more lies
LucidLucy Mar 2017
A girl has a relationship with a boy.
They seemed to be happy.
That girl however likes another boy.
She fixes her hair every time she talks to this boy.
She lowers down her voice when she speaks to him.
However the boy never noticed.
Because this boy likes another girl.
He teases her every chance he gets.
He sits next to her every lunch time.
And stares at her when no one's looking.
Unfortunately, the girl never noticed.
Because the girl is in love with a boy.
The boy was enough for her and they were happy together.
And she never noticed the other boys because her love for this boy is enough.
And I was watching the whole thing unfold right in front of me. It's sad seeing an impending heartbreak and not be able to do anything about it.
LucidLucy Oct 2017
Dreams do a better job in making me happy than reality.

I died as soon as I wake.
Don't want to wake up knowing your hand wont be there to lead mine, playing your hair.

****, I miss your touch.

I miss you so bad.
LucidLucy Oct 2016
I think of you and her.
you that was always late.
her that left me in a dying state.
you that I'm still waiting to come.
her that left me scarred and so undone.
I wish pain would just easily subside.
And that you would just come and easily replace her side.

— The End —