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May 2018 · 309
28 Massacre
I may be superstitious,
But it's a life I wouldn't trade.
Do I have a witness,
Of this cursed day?

Those glorified wishes,
Honestly seem fake.
A touch of intuition,
Has made me feel afraid.

No! Why? Did we have to say goodbye?
Please wait! Did it have to be today?
I've tried, To distract my mind.
But my brain, Won't seem to move away!

The pain makes me ambitious,
But I hope it doesn't stay.
Now my heart is in stitches,
I'm crying tears in vain.

Dignified or vicious,
Is she grim or grave?
My mind seems so twisted;
To it I've become enslaved.

No! Why? Did we have to say goodbye?
Please wait! Did it have to be today?
I've tried, To distract my mind.
But my brain, Won't seem to move away!

The cold light doesn't seem to fade.
Can't stop time and these endless days.
Despite the promises I've made,
I find my world has turned to grey.

No! Why? Did we have to say goodbye?
Please wait! Did it have to be today?
I've tried, To distract my mind.
But my brain, Won't seem to move away!
In memory of my dear beloved Sigyn.
Mar 2018 · 135
Endera
I will do what I must,
To escape this quarrel clear.
She's broken my cold trust,
It's been a long two years.

The child is quite stung,
The wolf is growing near.
No longer she is young,
She whispers in my ear.

Oh Endera, what have you done?
Endera, what have I become?
Oh Endera, never I'll go numb,
Endera, you're the spiced ***.

Is this who I've become?
I'm always shedding tears.
I feel like I've gone numb,
I only know this fear.

When will this all be done?
I'm staring in the mirror.
There is no place to run,
For she is always here.

Oh Endera, what have you done?
Endera, what have I become?
Oh Endera, never I'll go numb,
Endera, you're the spiced ***.

Your eyes are scorching me.
I dream to just break free.
I chose to fight no more,
But you continue keeping score.

You keep on playing me,
Here's permission to hate me,
You're already halfway there!
For me, you've never cared!

Oh Endera, what have you done?
Endera, what have I become?
Oh Endera, never I'll go numb,
Endera, you're the spiced ***.

Oh Endera, what have we done?
Endera, what have we become?
Oh, Endera, who's the poison plum?
Endera, farewell we'll overcome.
Feb 2018 · 126
Dear Alexander
I see my face on your screen,
Quick erase, but still shocked me.
They laughed away, embarrassing.
It's not my place, but that was mean.

You ran and hid, mortified.
Bowed your head, and tried not to cry.
Every now and then as we're passing by,
I still remember that one time.

He says that he loves me,
And that I'm beautiful.
But dear Alexander,
What is your goal?

I don't have these feelings,
And you can't have my heart.
Cause you could go steal it,
Then tear it apart.

In third grade, it's you I see.
The words you say, "Will you be with me?"
Your heart decayed, I'm so sorry.
For I'm afraid of love's disease.

Now look ahead, almost year nine.
We're on a ship and there's not a tide.
On the railing spread, I lean and sigh.
You're staring in my silver eyes.

You say that you'd love me,
From youth till were old.
But dear Alexander.
My love can't be sold.

And I keep on thinking,
What you'd do to my heart.
Would I fall down sinking?
Or would it be art?

You said you would be there,
Through all of my pain.
But do you really care,
About this pouring rain?

The choices have been spared,
You gave up week long.
At least I was prepared,
I knew all along!

No longer you love me,
The words that you've told.
And I should be happy,
But I have grown cold.

Anger is growing,
No effort depart!
I'm comforted knowing,
I still have my heart.
This was a song I wrote explaining why I  afraid to fall in love. I hope you like it!
Jan 2018 · 310
Sweet Obsessions
Always thinking,
Always fearing.
Always losing my control.

Could be better,
I resent her.
Write the letter of my soul.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.

It's so confusing:
The words I'm using,
To show the stories I have told.

Fight together,
Or against her.
The thoughts that I've heard are so old.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.

Suffering and obsessing,
Are the same thing or so it seems.
This obsession isn't sweet-
Constant thoughts of the fear to beat.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.
I was in the middle of a panic attack and somehow decide to finish a poem I started awhile back. Thanks!
Dec 2017 · 292
I Apologize
I apologize for the words I have to say.
I apologize for a year of sorrow days.
I apologize for the words I speak,
For they are always on repeat.

I apologize for all the tears I've cried.
I apologize for my uncontrollable whine.

I apologize for the darkened clouds of gloom.
I apologize for my pleading to the moon.
I apologize for wanting to be alone,
For the cause is still unknown.

I apologize for the fear that is inside.
I apologize for my never ending fright.

I apologize for the deeply buried guilt,
I apologize for the stories never built.
I apologize for each shard of metal glass,
For my cut wound bled at last.

I apologize for losing every fight.
I apologize, for I know this isn't right.

I apologize for my unclothed feet.
I apologize for the dreams I seek.
I apologize for being way to young,
To have gotten so pained and stung.

I apologize for the times I've tried.
I apologize for the raining sky.

I apologize for the words I've yelled.
I apologize for the times I fell.
I apologize for the lack to choose,
For ignorance of the coming due.

I apologize for my useless rhymes.
I apologize for your wasted time.
I was upset and just had to rant and vent for a bit. Writing a stupid poem is better than hyperventilating right?
Nov 2017 · 208
Trigger
"Why are you afraid?"
That's what they always say.
It's always in sequence every day.

They ask me what's wrong.
They ask me how long.
Tell me to bottle it and just be strong.

Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
I'm falling apart into a million sparks.
Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
When the fear sounds alarm, I fall into the dark.

I have always prayed,
But the fear always stays.
Even with all the times I've tried to change.

They poke and they prong,
We'll never get along.
I guess I'll just go and write another song.

Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
I'm falling apart into a million sparks.
Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
When the fear sounds alarm, I fall into the dark.

Needle in your arm,
Why are you alarmed?
It's not like a seizure can cause you harm.

Bugs in your hair,
Fall in love if you dare,
Seems like triggers are everywhere.

Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
I'm falling apart into a million sparks.
Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
When the fear sounds alarm, I fall into the dark.
From the album Hylephobia
Aug 2017 · 108
Retrograde
Losing my hope,
Feeling so lost.
I don't even know where to go anymore.

This is not what I chose,
The path through the snow.
I just want to be free from the internal storm.

One step forwards,
Two steps back.
Cycles repeated,
I've surely lost track.

Should I go onwards?
All the questions I'll ask.
Does it have meaning:
The darkness and black?

The sun-kissed glow,
What is the cost?
I miss its warmth burning through my core.

Take the first blow,
And take what they owe.
Get your armor on, we're going to war.

One step forwards,
Two steps back.
Cycles repeated,
I've surely lost track.

Should I go onwards?
All the questions I'll ask.
Does it have meaning:
The darkness and black?

I need help,
I've lost myself.
A vainful yelp.
I wish you well.

One step forwards,
Two steps back.
Cycles repeated,
I've surely lost track.

Should I go onwards?
All the questions I'll ask.
Does it have meaning:
The darkness and black?
I was feeling blah last night so I decided to write about it.
Jun 2017 · 156
Thirteen Skulls
The world, soon to be ending
My darling don't cry
The end, it's just the beginning
As darkness fills the sky

The war is here, but were blinded
The fear soon to arise
No one seems to mind it
But It's not a surprise

13 species
13 skulls
Collect the pieces
Peace for all

Thirteen skulls legend bound
Thirteen skulls crystal crowned
Thirteen skulls earthen drowned
Thirteen skulls never found

No one knows, the war is here
But perhaps a few, the sight we saw
We carry the burden of frightened fear
One in a hundred, the torturous call

Indigo and earth children have come to fight
The warriors, of the protector
Welcome the light of the divine
It's our fault, the false electors

Thirteen creatures
Thirteen heavens
Profound features
The Chakra seven

Thirteen skulls legend bound
Thirteen skulls crystal crowned
Thirteen skulls earthen drowned
Thirteen skulls never found

Communication all around
Ring the bell, hear the sound
The spirit grows, build the mound
Meditate on lotus ground

Thirteen skulls legend bound
Thirteen skulls crystal crowned
Thirteen skulls earthen drowned
Thirteen skulls never found

13 species
13 skulls
Collect the pieces
Peace for all

Thirteen creatures
Thirteen heavens
Profound features
The Chakra seven

Thirteen skulls legend bound
Thirteen skulls crystal crowned
Thirteen skulls earthen drowned
Thirteen skulls never found

Thirteen skulls, crystal skulls
The thirteen skulls finally found
The world will lay safe and sound
Thirteen skulls, peace for all
Thirteen skulls, peace for all
This is a song taken from the album Pentacle
Jun 2017 · 97
Augustus
I wish, I wish, again it seems,
I fight my battle, through everything.
Upon a star, upon a dream.
Hear my darling, the Angels sing.

Intoxicated, never clean.
Terminal feast.
Rose bud lien.
Cancered beast.

The war goes on,
But I don't care.
My life is dawned,
Everyone stares.

May light plum,
'Oh a lovely pair!'
August comes,
Life isn't fair.

Okay, okay...
I knew all along.
Reversed will say,
My anthem, my song.

Dear Augustus,
Have I done you wrong?
Have you justice?
Promised, I won't be long.

Farewell my dear,
You left me alone.
Oblivion you fear,
Ten, to the bones.
Jun 2017 · 191
Seizure
Shaking, shaking, losing control.
Honestly, this is getting really old.
I don't know when this began.
I feel as if no one understands.

Help me, help me, please console.
I apologize if my words are cold.
Walking, walking through the quicksand.
Break it, break it, I think I can.

Seizure, only once.
Aura, am I getting one?
Seizure, only once.
Chorus, a shaking song!

All of my irrelevant goals;
Be gone, be gone, fear be sold.
I'm lost, I'm lost, I have no plan-
Searching, searching for the land.

Make me, make me pure and whole.
No more lies, no more fools gold.
Listen, listen to my command.
Escape it, escape it, I know I can.

Seizure, only once.
Aura, am I getting one?
Seizure, only once.
Chorus, a shaking song!

You gave me a seizure.
You gave me a seizure.
You gave me a seizure.
You gave me a seizure.

Seizure, only once.
Aura, am I getting one?
Seizure, only once.
Chorus, a shaking song!

Seizure, only once.
Aura, am I getting one?
Seizure, only once.
Chorus, a shaking song!
Apr 2017 · 152
Failure My Theme Song
To tell you the truth,I want to be just like them.
To have a talent, and a perfect em
I don't have to be a star, I just want to fit in.
I'm the f on the test, do have to say it again?

I messed it up, killed vitamin m
I'm a splintered piece, a shattered gem
I made you cry, I'm an onion stem
I'm the worst at my best, should I say it again?

Sing my anthem, sing along.
I promise you, you won't be wronged
So sing my anthem, and come along,
Failure my theme song

Oh...
Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure my theme song

Look a me, I'm not pretend
In a visual world, worth depends
I'm a mirror to the world, this is the end
I'm the lowest of all, slap me again!

I fight my past, will I ever win?
Infinite quest, where is my twin
I'm losing the fight, farewell my friend
I'm losing control, all I see are fiends
I'm failing again, ill never win

Sing my anthem, sing along.
I promise you, you won't be wronged
So sing my anthem, and come along,
Failure my theme song
Keep on going, the battle's prolonged
Ring the bells, ding **** ding ****
Fly a kite, the string so long
Who choked the worst, I'll do them wrong!
Failure my theme song
Oh Failure my theme song

Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure my theme song

Worthless, useless, ignorant, freak,
Just accept it, this is me
Stupid, idiot, nerdy geek
I've always wondered my destiny
I'm a failure, don't you see?
You sang my anthem, you sang along (you sang my song)
I promised you, you wouldn't be wronged
So you sang my anthem, and came along
Failure our theme song...

Sing my anthem, sing along.
I promise you, you won't be wronged
So sing my anthem, and come along,
Failure my theme song
Keep on going, the battle's prolonged
Ring the bells, ding **** ding ****
Fly a kite, the string so long
They choked the worst, I did them wrong!
Failure my theme song
Imprisonment, we'll be amongst
Dancing free, chained sarong
I know my place, tempted strong
I'm Zelkova, not a currajong
Failure my theme song
Oh failure our theme song

Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure, failure, failure my theme song
Failure my theme song
Oh failure my theme song

— The End —