I wish my mom loved me.
I wish my brothers cared.
I wish my father was a dad
Who was always there.
I wish life had more ups
I mean im always going down.
I wish the overdose would **** my liver faster by now.

"If only we could have 3 wishes".
You could have as many wishes as you want.
Granted wishes, not so much.

I like open skies with many stars
I like clear oceans and lonely bars
I love watching animals attack their prey
I like to sleep so long i skip the whole day.
I like the feeling of having nothing to do
Not being bored but not feeling blue
Just relaxing and enjoying the sound of nothing
I like to take my  time i dont like rushing
I like eating food that tastes real good
Even though itll **** me i love it still
I love to lay outside and watch the birds fly above me
I love to think that one day id find life itself lovely.

I tried to be mean
Because i grew tired of being sweet
Having no one be as nice to me
But it didnt work
Because it isnt me.
The mask of smiley has fallen off
And ugly exposed to all
Tears that are 18 years old
Blood that used to be red chipping off.
I tried to be nice
Because being mean i was sure
Made me myself feel very poor
But then i realize it gets me no where
And still i continue to go there
Pick the mask up
Back on my face
Cover the years worth of pain
Keep on dragging myself through life
Wishing i didnt have to choose mean or nice
Wishing i could just feel better inside...

When you're too afraid to end it all
But you're desperate enough to wanna go away
You dont wanna hurt the ones you love
But you dont wanna feel any more pain
When the **** doesnt take you far enough
You think about *******
When your life has no meaning to you
But suicide is too much to pay.

Im tired of seeing **** and not being able to do anything about it.
Im tired of being here on earth
Where the solution to a problem
Creates more problems
People say **** just to make you think they would if they could solve it
But they dont solve ****
They dont even try
They watch and they comment and they hear you cry
Imagining if it were them
Thankful that it isn't
Just saying whatever lie
Is best convincing.
I'm sick of this ******* world  and i can't wait to leave it.
I think about all the freedom from this hell of a life I've been given
The world is the worst place to be
Maybe not for you but without a doubt for me
More power to you if you love to live life
I, on the other hand will be on the other side.

This feeling is the worst feeling in the world.
To live some place and not feel at home.
I come to my mothers house and the feeling only grows.
Thought i would feel better but i only get worse.
If i dont feel at home anywhere
Why am i here
I dont want to be here
I have no family
No friends
No love
No care for what the future consists of.
I dont have care for anything
I try to find happiness in everything
But i always fail
And i always feel
Like i know exactly where it is that i belong.
But to get there
I must take
The one thing that i have every day
My life
And i know
That fear has something to do
With why
I havent tried
Hard enough to actually persue
Death.
But that fear has gone a while ago
I have tried honestly harder than i ever have before
And still i can not get back home
Im at the bus stop waiting for the lights to show
I just want to go where i feel i belong....
Somewhere where i dont feel this anymore.