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Suicide should only be committed once*
So why the hell do I try every couple months
Something's up with the water
I don't feel the rush like I used to
There's no happiness tutorials on YouTube
I laced together my shoes, through them on a wire and convinced myself to sit and think
The kitchen sink's dishes stink
But you are what you eat and I had a helping of insane

Low key lowlife, broke and high under a spotlight
No ice so there's more drink at the drive thru window with my eyes suspiciously low
I'm ridiculously close to laughing what's left of my mind away
I forgot how it feels to feel fine today
It's either *love
or hate and there's no areas of gray

*I wish I had a thousand hours to sit down and figure out exactly what the **** that I've been running from
I wish someone would stick around long enough to identify with the place that I'm coming from
 Aug 2016 Lost Poet
Stephan
Me
 Aug 2016 Lost Poet
Stephan
Me
.

Without you, I would still be me,
just not the me that I want to be
 Aug 2016 Lost Poet
Samm Marie
if you looked in my window
you'd see a shattered girl crying
you'd see a broken dream dying
if you saw in that shattered girl crying
you'd see a heartbroken past
you'd see an approaching darkness fast
if you saw in that dream dying
you'd see a thunder storm wail
you'd see a shattered girl pale
if you looked in my window
you'd see memories haunting
you'd see dead hopes taunting
if you stared at the memories haunting
you'd understand why life is scary
you'd understand a sliver of burdens i carry
if you stared at dead hopes taunting
you'd understand my fear
you'd understand why i can't live here
if you looked in my window
you'd see nothing
you'd see running
if you wondered about the nothing
you'd find horrors all your own
you'd find yourself dethroned
if you wondered about the running
you'd find the real reason
you'd find yourself charged with treason
 Aug 2016 Lost Poet
Samm Marie
I'm broken
Not bent
I need to remove all this awful
That weighs down on my soul
I'm skeptical
For all the right reasons
But I'm at a new low
Beyond suicidal thoughts
I know that will solve nothing
I've reached the ultimate zero
And I'm ******* dying
I'm starved for love and validation
I'm told I don't need
I'm hurting so much
I'm yearning for someone to hold me
And I'm so tired of crying myself to sleep
Making kittens suicidal
Heaving silent wails
And desperate cries for help in
The never ending wavepool
Of life that doesn't hear the weak
And emotionally disabled
Beg for equality
And plead for
Love
So God if You're listening
Please ease all this hate
Breeze away all this pain
Because I've been hurting
For ten long lonely years
And I need some validation
Right about now
 Aug 2016 Lost Poet
Samm Marie
Bailey and Mathew
And Stephanie then Jack
Melissa
Aerrow and Anna
Olivia and Stasi
Isabel and Evan
You all care
You all ask
You all check
I'm sorry I scare you
I'm having a bad down
I mean it
A major downer
Worse than any acid trip could provide
I'm not slitting
And I don't intend to
I think I'm done with that
I think I'm clean
I'm sorry I cause you to worry
I'm sorry I'm that friend
But thats how it is
I'm in the midst of a relapse
But I'll find my footing
Once September ends
Hopefully before
But we never know
I'm sorry to make
All y'all's concerned
And it's not that you loved me
Despite my imperfections..

It's that you never saw them to begin with.
 Aug 2016 Lost Poet
Samm Marie
Said the Ceiling Fan to the Dark Room,
"Where is it you go
When the world awakens?"

"I search for myself
In oblivion,"
Whispered the Dark Room

The Ceiling Fan thought this peculiar
"Dark Room," began Ceiling Fan
"What is oblivion?"

The Dark Room giggled,
Forgetting Ceiling Fan's youth
"Oblivion, sweet child, is
Unknown and terrifyingly
Brilliant"

Mimicking Rabbits and Skin Horses
Ceiling Fan questions
The possible pain

Dark Room replies softly
"Only sometimes"
 Aug 2016 Lost Poet
Stu Harley
let
the
soul
touch
one blade of grass
while
we
make it last
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