So the truth is
This universe is a black abyss
And all that exists, everything
That we would call "conciseness"
Is beams of light eternally swirling into deaths gaping mouth.
Now, which event would you say
Brings us back to unity?
To be made, or unmade all for
God's glory? Or... Is there something
Beyond this everlasting duality?

Where does compassion meet justice?
Where does tolerance meet judgement?
When does innocence meet violence?
When do the sinful become righteous?
Why do we dismiss what others find precious?
Why are destroying our only environment?
Humans are so full of contradictions...

If you're too soft they'll chew on you just to prove you wrong.
But
If you're too hard the slightest change will fracture your brittle core.
So
Balance these concepts of gift and swallow to show them all that kindness can also be a force to be reckoned with.

I'm sorry I stopped writing for you...
Perhaps that's why you've forgotten?
I thought my actions now could suffice
So busy I didn't notice we were rotten.

I have been praying for more time alone
The children require so much attention.
Money's been tight, but still on occasion,
I wish I could buy back certain decisions.

Please, don't take this plea for granted...
I thought, at least, we have potential.
Romance is fickle as season changes
Still, my heart for you longs for Easter

Go, and ask your God
To stop the gun fire
Please, pray to your Lord
To be the days savior
See how far it gets us
To better gun regulation
When you dismiss action
For silent meditation.
All your happy thoughts
To victims are meaningless
Families' children are lost
For the sake of convenience
And I'm still shocked how
People still come to defend
The devices held by ******
Rich white men.

I've killed more creatures... and people, with my dollar bill, than I could ever count...

And I'd do it all again if it meant spending another day with You.

Butterflies flutter and
Birds glide across the sky
Bugs crawl in the gutters, and
People like to tell lies.

Flowers bloom in the brush,
Rodents looking for rye,
I'm here for the head rush, so
**** it I'm getting high.

Ants busy building hills
Sly foxes stalking prey
Cooped up in the city, man
Seeking out the next way.

Chickens pick at the ground
Cows graze in the pastures,
People get ****** up in town
Waiting for their rapture.

You ******* started it.
I told you once to stop and
You refused to quit.
I drew a line in the sand
You stepped up to the plate
I took a homerun swing when
You reached out and grabbed me
I hope you ******* regret it
You got what you deserved and
I will not feel sorry for it

Rest your convictions on
The foundation of knowledge
Lest one day it will dawn,
Your beliefs sunk into sandpits

Over and over again now
A savior has come to us
With words shared by the crown
A weighted blanket of morals

And over and over again
We sold this golden blanket
For 30 pieces of silver coin
So quick to forget the lessons

We used this coin to build a wall
Surrounding all of our possessions
Praying to God that it stands tall
While children paint it with excuses

The desperate need a place to sleep
But we traded golden bedding for lead
Nothing left for them to eat or drink
So we cover their land in bloodshed.

The golden blanket now soaked red
Torn open on the side with our spears
too late to put these nightmares to bed
Even gold can't soak up a mother's tears.

Couldn't count my desires
Gotta let the lotto winner's
Roll 'em up and smoke the sinners

Sniffin' bliss, and rollin' spliffs
Criss cross your boney fingers cuss'
Christ's forgiveness can't cross rivers

Stakes and stones and broken homes
Crack the window, Daddy's cookin'
Dinner for your "step-sisters" nose

Drowning in euphoria
Bleached blonde concoction of toxic
Environmental pollution

A hundred bucks buys a smile
At least for a little while you
Don't have to feel the world dying

Something
Something's rattling within me
Shaking my rib cage
Increasing my heart beat
Pressing my vessels
Increasing the pressure
It's... Nothing in particular
Just the crushing weight
Of global disarray
Pushing me against the brick
Grinding my teeth to dust
Scraping my skin on cement
Anxiously awaiting the end

We ran out of places to colonize, so
Now the capitalist are after our time
Though your mind might not realize yet, our
Attention has been commodified

All these fans around me but only you, see
That eyes are as good as gold nowadays, please
Check out the newest subscription released
So I can feed my kids and escape the freeze

****** and incels fighting over bucks and *****
But free videos take advantage of ***** and
Strippers prefer cold polls to ***** cause we
All gotta clock in sucker, ***** to ****, so

We scam each other hoping to get ahead
Scheming over the same table we broke bread
Together in public we feed on street cred, but the
He said she said won't put a roof over your head

So better get famous *****, let everyone know
Your business is going swell, gonna buy some blow
Gonna sell some ****, make a scene, then go
Do anything you can to keep them eyes on you.

I wish I could write about everything beautiful and all of the people who I love while sounding genuine and compassionate.

I wish we could talk about all the strife in the world, to bring evil doers to Justice, while helping those lost find their way home.

I wish I could voice all these feelings I have about the problems we face and the destruction we leave in our wake for the sake of progress.

I wish people could put their pride aside and see how God is all the same regardless of how you pronounce the Divine name.

But what's the point in shouting into this vacuume, a chamber we created that echos opinions despite any facts so we can continue stroking our fat ******* egos.

People think they've come
To know God speaks to them
But still haven't learned where from
The message came through

What has Nature done to us?
You can’t write past wrongs while time is set in stone, but making an effort to be better next time is akin to Love is it not?

Cain wasn’t just jealous, he was HUNGRY, and
I was just so ******* lonely

I’m an animal, but why do I  care?
Who is forcing us to do this

I long for breathe, please give me life, please me, please me, please me

Why would I want to do anything, if you just wouldn’t ******* hurt me
Are you comfortable?
What does it matter if we don’t know what it means?

EATSLEEPFUCKSHITMACHINE

why does feeling pleasure have to be so painful? I just wanted to look at you, so I created a universe for us

I AM

except it’s not that easy is it…

To feel all that LOVE and to LOVE all that PAIN you caused because I left you inside of me

do you enjoy my suffering?
at least then it would be worth something

I could trade my time here for some time there instead and maybe then I could be happy?
If I eat something, then that means someone else feels empty right? Am I supposed to feel guilty or full?

YOUCOMPLETEME

****** war feeds mostly carnivores
I wish we could all just get along, ha, ha, ha, but if you step on my toe I’ll
******* **** YOU

Children whisper secrets to each other while trading the bones of their ancestors with fairies who give them shiny metals, all colored shades of gray

If rainbows are broken white light then why shouldn’t I be racist?

I’d love it if you’d love me how I wanted you to love me

I JUST WANT SOMETHING THAT I CAN CALL MY OWN THAT I CAN CONTROL

Why y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y

I’m here now and I don’t know why I was born, but if you’d like to give my life meaning I can pay you money
Where are we going?
Can you build
WHAT ARE YOU WORTH?!?!?!?!!
......has it always been this way

I'm just an artist
There's nothing I can paint
That will staunch the bleeding of children
Running in the hallways
Terror streaking across their faces
Dripping sweat and tears dry
The after math is a class on
Thoughts and prayers.

I'm only an artist
There's nothing I can sing
That will stop them from drilling
Miles and miles deep the chemicals leak
Water isn't what it used to be
But gas ain't cheap, and
Neither is that mansion your
Representation bought
Across the street

I'm a humble artist
There's nothing I can write
That will regrow the forests that burn
I need the paper to wipe
And the ash fills my lungs
So I exhale my feelings onto
Blank white sheets hoping
To make a difference.

This used be a breath of fresh air
Ventilation when I felt suffocated by
My overflowing thoughts and ideas
Racking my mind for the words to
Express what I feel about *******...
Being alive...
Now I just hear echos in the endless
Caverns of data, stacking numbers
Became too important and it's like
We've sacrificed what it meant to
Just be human.
The depth is beyond comprehension
Crushing darkness all around us
With nothing more than glimmers
Hung just far enough to wet your
Thirst for knowledge
And still, with all of this death circling us in a seemingly endless abyss
We can't seem to grasp that it is life
That is the splendid exception to the
Laws of physics.
We'd rather toil over our individual
Perceptions of what it means to be
Good or Evil, on a rock that frankly
Doesn't give a flying **** about
What we think.

Sweat drips into gasoline pipes, the
Burning in my stomach causing
Noxious fumes clouding the sky, as
Acid rains down on my tongue, while
Chewing on black rubber, but
Don't swallow your sorrows, remember
Steer clear of the profits, that
Promise a better tomorrow, see
The fruit of knowledge is bittersweet
And all of these people gotta eat, so
We'll carve through the rock and blood
Black skeletons soaking in sin
To keep our treats in refrigeration
There's little man hasn't already done.

It's the part of the story, that
You can't quite put into words
Despite the message being sent
Through written symbols and prose

It's the point where the science is
Dissolving into ether
The solution is clear as day
Burning bright in your center

It's the similies we see, when
Peering into the cosmos
Black holes spiral the galaxies
Like Iris casting rainbows

There's an art to the way you walk
In teaching children to talk
The purest act of creation
To learn love and expression

Past nights haunt me in the bedroom
Pillows not so comforting since
Peace lost under a blood red moon
The ghost of my sins, still Present.

Trauma can wear many faces
Tears streak a fallen angels wings
Terror marks us through the ages
Raging wind destroys every Thing.

Soft whispers stoke the secret flames
Seared nerves can no longer feel pain
Strike my metal, I'm not to blame
But I can't seem to wash the Stain.

Decisions I made lead us here
Devils over my left shoulder
Dancing demons into my ear
Live out my days in Disorder

Time has an incredible knack, for
Marching us into the next chapter
Pages turn by light of your lantern
Guiding me back home

I built a life of fame and fortune
Paved my way to riches and stardom
When lightning struck, I watched it crumble
Left with only stone

Vanity and Lust wrought my twenties
Greed and Wrath spent all of my plenty
The cost of life's lessons is our Envy
Gluttony for truth

Transitioning into thirty three
Searing flames of holy prophecy
Right hand scribbles my biography
Pride has sold my youth

We pay our dues in isolation
Growth consuming the old foundation
The desert teaches moderation
The Sun's golden hues

I never wanted to be
As still as the stone
Though,  even the mountains
Slowly erode away

Time flows like rivers
Winding up and down
Rapids here,  trickles there
Always in motion

Hearts thump with purpose
Though, sometimes erratically so
The anxiety of the end
Coming ever closer

The spirits come and go
Passing through the veil
Heed their warnings though
You'll follow their trail.

I know these words need not to rhyme
Yet the sound rings out as if divine
Hands wrung out the blood in my heart
Spilling love onto white and making it art

We've traveled the world and seen so far
Across oceans of water and to the stars
Past peaks of earth that scrape the sky's
Through the struggles and doubt of just getting by

You've attracted me like a moth to flame
A light in the garden that paints the way
You're the moon to my midnight, the rays on my petals
You're the reason I fight, to put down my devils

This feels so right, knowing that Alexandrite
Changes in the light from purple to green
It seems like we were always meant to be
So I'll never let go, if you'll marry me?

Blades cut back to the roots
Forced us to start fresh
Like the waning moon
Or the sun when it sets

From frost to morning dew
Life wakes from its rest
Seeds grow into shoots
Surviving winters test

Cycles begin anew
Like babes to a breast
Or when flowers bloom
On Persephone's dress

I never thought I'd go back to smoking
But there's not much to do here
Besides stoke the fire.

I spent a year watching it all crumble
So I tucked my tail between my legs
And went home humble

I wonder around trying to stay busy
There's so much that needs done
But I'm so ******* lazy

I thought I had conquered my many addictions
The shadow of my past haunts me
Causing these afflictions

I've been in a panic, knowing I'm undeserving
Happiness and success aren't for me
The pressure is unnerving

I can't handle drugs like I used to
My palpitations make me anxious, but
What else can I do?

I gave it my best, and tasted the good life
My art has been seen by so many
But I was stifled

Now I'm just bored, so **** it I'm smoking
The feeling of nicotine is
better than nothing

I tried turning the other cheek
It left me battered and bruised

I tried washing their ***** feet
They walked over me after I was done being used

I tried opening up my home to them
I was left with the debts and dues

I tried my best to understand
But I'm still so confused

I've worked so hard to share my art
Years and I'm still afraid to starve

I wanted to show the world my heart
Crushed under the imperial boot

I finally found peace when I ran away
Back home where I once sought to escape

But this calm wasn't meant to last
As my fears of the world turned inward on my self

Plagued by anxiety and chronic stress
Paralyzed by the most simple of tasks

Where there once was a boy with flowering ambition
Now sits a man made of broken glass

Time passes like clouds in the sky
Lessons cycle like white spirals
Twisting deeper into my mind
Carving passion into canyons
Hobbies become habits or
Potential into careers
Joy into sadness or
Love into tears
All the while
My children
Won't stop
Growing
Up