Why do I get so upset?
Why is my tongue so slick, hurting feelings and losing relationships
Sorry if I ever hurt your feelings
And sorry if I already did it
Mad at Myself for not having control
Control over my attitude
Over this hurt that keeps revealing itself
Why do I hurt the ones who I love and who love me?
Wanting attention from the people who hurt me, plotting on me
Mad at Myself for being so immature
And not having no control
Mad at Myself for hurting you
I’m so sorry that I’m not able to express emotion besides on paper
Mad at Myself
Mad at Myself for forcing you to question my love for you
I love you
I do
I just got issues
Not healing from the trauma I’ve endured in my lifetime
Mad at Myself for hurting myself
Mad at Myself for speaking ***** to myself
Mad at Myself for not loving myself
Why do I get so upset?
Why don’t I get some help, having my pride blocking change and opportunities
Mad at Myself for hurting you
And for not loving you

Your Ego is decaying your body

What makes me sad and sometimes mad
Is that, there’s still a hurt little girl inside of me
She was not given a voice to be heard
She was never given the opportunity to be healed
This hurt little girl is still bruised and scarred
Remembering the fear that I had in me at a young age
The anxiety I felt
And the misunderstanding that I took
This hurt little girl that’s inside me still needs a sorry
She still needs a explanation on things she didn’t and couldn’t understand
This hurt little girl still is frightened of the world  
Still frightened of her world
I’m trying to heal her as I heal me too
This hurt little girl is beautiful as can be
As she is the damaged butterfly inside of me

She’s me
I’m her
Beautiful girl, what am I going to do with you?
Told she’s beautiful
Told she’s unique and something special about her
But the beautiful girl doesn’t even believe it
As she shakes her head in disbelief, how dare they lie to her like that?
She’s me
I’m her
I look in the mirror
She looks in the mirror
And all she sees is her flaws
She sees the features that she doesn’t dare to love
Beautiful girl, what am I going to do with you?
You don’t love yourself
Biting her nails, picking at her skin
Tears rolling down her cheeks
Picking at her stomach, as she repeats in her head that she’s too fat
Beautiful girl, why don’t you love yourself?
Self, why don’t you love yourself?
Who hurt you?
Who poisoned your mind into thinking you’re the worst?
Who told you that you weren't worth it, who damaged your self image?
Was it him? Was it her, was it them, or was it you?
Beautiful girl, what am I going to do with you?

As the caterpillar learns about itself,
It can't help but be confused on how to love itself
Told self love is the most beautiful thing out there
Wondering to self, if it's so beautiful, why is it so out of reach?
The caterpillar is still hurting
Not having a clue on how to heal from the cuts and bruises
Caterpillar, who are you?

happy new year to anyone who reads this
****, we’ve come a long way, huh?
even though i might not know you, still proud of you
people go through **** and for that, **** are appreciated a little bit more
so, if you’re going through something
just know, ***** happening for a reason
everything’s going to be okay
and i know that’s  easy to say but trust, whatever you’re going through is part of your “journey”
your story
nothing is given to you what you can’t handle
so, have a clear mindset for 2020
be ready to succeed in 2020
and to be whatever and do whatever the ******* want in 2020
i might not know you but i love you
and grateful that you’re here to see 2020
salute to you❤️

The boys I fell for saw girls as their toy
As if they walked into a store and saw me on the shelf
Picked me up and bought me, thinking they owned me
But they didn't, getting upset when reminded
And that's when I knew none of them deserved me