Bashful Liar.
The world is evil,
You took the walls inside my heart the day you left.
Under my eyelids are your initials,
I wake up,
Only to think about you.
I used sharp glass to carve our date on my forearm,
I sent my veins the wrong message.
My good weaves all have doubt,
They vent on paper when I write forever,
my veins notice as I smoke.
My smile was light to your eyes,
as your eyes would light,
My eyes would tear with joy.
Catching that same guilty taste on my tongue.

I'm walking down the fishing pier at this moment,
I'll dip the jar I have been using to save the tears I shed for you,
I'm watching them go down into the water now,
Like my body going towards hell,
when it dies because of you.

You remind me of what it feels like
to know the smell of pancakes are being made,
when first waking up.
That single letter reminds me of a Mother's face after labor,
the eyes of her holding the child,
Have you ever layed in the grass and gaze at a sky full of stars?
Every smile and glare with happiness,
is what that one letter,
makes my mind recall.
I saw a picture of you,
in me today.
The knot you tied on my tie was off by just a bit,
you always said perfect does not exist.
There they were,
My eyes shining with you
I was smiling and your teeth were white.
That morning,
my toothbrush was made with toothpaste,
before I got to the bathroom,
you had it ready to go.
Like the letter that will never disappear,
I will always have to brush my teeth.

I see you here with me now,
Over many years ago,
You left.
Guilty and latched in my own heart,
My soul was sentenced for his conviction.
Writing about things that one day we discovered,
It seemed normal.
The day had a blue sky and the sun was out.
It was not normal for my soul,
When I saw you,
I found my other half.
It's hard to love you without saying anything,
It is harder to demonstrate such love without ever seeing you.
Difficult is my life,
Without the love you carry.
Never  have I seen a man so deeply in love,
Before the age of 14.
I said "I love you" and as my mouth closed,
Between my teeth was a pistol with a bullet.
You put it there to get away.
I pulled the trigger.
Dead was I from that moment on,
I am a chicken laying eggs of a scorpion,
A wire brush cleaning teeth.
When I get to heaven,
It will rain money.
My spirit tries to get back to you twice a year,
by the time you are aware
God came to take his people.
only in that rush will you know I will forever love you.
I am a *** dog in the streets,
My owner says I'm dead,
I have no teeth to eat.
I keep walking slowly during the day,
Hoping my spirit is bought back to me.
The hollow wall in my heart was never closed,
My chest hurts to think about it.
Let my spirit go,
I do not want to love you anymore.
I find it hard to forget,
And I do not earn enough to clear you out.
I write or paint my dire hunger for you,
I release pain this way.
I cannot wait to be awake.
Heaven or Hell,
It must be better than in love with you.
If this dog is lying down,
I feel the bullet inside me,
I feel like what I am,
A dead animal.

I pretend you died.
This way,
It's easier to breathe.
My envision was getting married,
after seeing you,
walk down the center of a Castle in the middle of an island.
There was a day in a year,
My envision was lost.
The day you left,
I lost faith in life.
My imagination,
does not run without you.
Now I live,
with a loose bull inside me.
After you,
My red cape.

Let me ask
Your answer is meaningless
I will never have you.
Melancholy is my life,
Let me thank you in advance.
You've been missing in my heart,
For exactly seven years,
Why am I still counting?
Where is my gun?
I can't find my bullets
The one with your name on it,
Finally,
Something to fill your void.