im sorry that i could not be someone you love

I miss you
I love you
I’m drunk
and I can’t think straight

My world is falling apart
Because I can’t stay sober without you

tw: ed--------

you tell me about your success,
but what have you gained
when you are proud of your loss?

less,
and less,
"just a little bit more",
you lose a part of yourself everyday
and take pride in it,
you open schrodinger's box
and you're glad when the cat is dead,
you **** yourself
in the name of "living well".

what did the child inside you do to you?

why do you starve it,
deprive it,
and punish it
for not looking sickly,
emaciated,
tortured enough?
why do you love pain so much?

but alas,
by all means,
go ahead,
hurt yourself more,
it won't ever be enough.
you know it.

blame yourself,
blame your parents,
blame god.
in the end,
you can take the kid
from the abuse,
but never the abuse
from the kid.

don't do unto yourself what they have done to you.

they will never learn.
i hope you will.

It’s so hard to grieve the loss of someone who’s still here.
Holding my breath just to hide the fear.
Where did I go wrong believing in ghosts?

We've all heard the quote.
We all know it's about taking that risk.
to me, that risk is the note I wrote.
The 'goodbye' video on the disc.

That risk is actually taking that leap.
and some days I regret not doing it.
those days I dig into my emotions real deep.
But i'm glad I didn't commit.

Yes, I was wrong,
and you were right.
I’ve agreed.

I’ve agreed:
I was wrong, like a devil,
and you were right, like a god.

I’ve accepted.
But here’s the irony—
I was created by you.

Under the weather.
Cold with A cold do not go together.

Stuffy nose, sore throat and a headache worth mentioning.
Why must the changing seasons be so threatening.

On 3 different OTC meds just to be able to breathe,
Not even the grinch would want to be or see me.

Of course I'm sick right as we're about to travel..
I mean in what other ways could my life possibly unravel?

No appetite and overly tired
Can my immune system be rewired?

I sound like ****, my voice is hoarse.
God refuses to give me remorse.