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Sea pearls in my frail hands
Strawberry gold in my glass coffin
Champagne with still sparkle
A sweet love will exist
Obscure graffiti will continue to paint firefly nights
My stained glass eyes would soon be forgotten
Neon ghosts would speak out loud
Wild flowers and moon shadows
Frosty nights, sugar wildflower carnivals with still have rides
Magnolias will shimmer with pride
Some may bleed and go slowly
Watercolors of purple ice will waltz with the honey flies
The winds will bellow with urgency
Draw the curtains of the dark hued winds  
A dusk house of earths yarn
Hanging on by fingertips does not slow the *****
The fog straggles will push and pull
Our stories will remain on the walls
Its not the years its what is left behind
Where all so much more than we know
When that strength begins to fog  
Crackling flowers will adequately grow
Earth will yawn with a calling to come home
So many secrets we are frankly to tired to spill
At times the sweetness and zest is excused
Forest rose shells await
A true beauty of life is found
Death does not strip away your spirit
Honey dew smells invade your nose
Star filled nights may feel like stones in your throat
I see slices of you in the pane of my own essence
I will shield you as you retreat  into the dimness
 Sep 2019 Joshua Dougan
Empire
I take the bottle and a sip
Then I drink deeply
All I can take in one go
I’d like the room to tilt and spin
Watch me lose my footing
Stumble
I don’t want to think
I don’t want to make sense
I don’t want to hurt
I don’t want to ache
I don’t want to suffer
Just... release me for a bit...
You can do that... can’t you?

Please.

I’m begging.

I’m in agony
Can’t you make an exception
I have to ease the pain
I must...
Please let me

Let me show you
Let me prove it
I’m unstable
I’m in pain
Watch me drown it
The best I can
Until I’m weak
Until I ******* stagger...
Mhm... what a thought
What loss of control...
How sweet a thought
To drink away the control
I’m tired
But I can’t let go
But that bottle... it would let me
Please...

Please, it hurts...

I don’t want to remember
How embarrassing... you just like the idea don’t you... so pathetic... craving things you’ve never known...
 Sep 2019 Joshua Dougan
Semihten5
waves of deep in the deepest no one sees
in our roads the pit danger ahead
end of page  short life on the text
finished fighting whistle of finish
hour-hand turns alone mimute hand stopped
There are days where I do not know
Anything but, "I love you, Lord."
And when it seems I can't bear it most,
I turn to you Oh, Lord.
I am not perfect.
I am a mess.
But I am complete.
In Christ the one who rescued me.
I'll sing it all day long.
I need you, Jesus.
He was five or six when he first challenged her
To play a game of checkers.
Fresh-faced and eager from battles with friends,
Young master of jumping and double-jumping,
Connoisseur of cornering and kinging.
Ready to wreak havoc on his grandmother,
A simple farm wife, unskilled in the battle of the board.

He didn't contemplate that the checker set
In the old farm house was hers....

Their battles raged,
Sometimes every day,
With, "Want to play again?"
His constant question.

I would watch her lose,
Seeing what my little boy,
The often conqueror,
Could not see in victorious glee.

Twenty-five years later,
We sit again at the old farm table,
And the two are pitted in their checkers game;
The same, but wearied box waiting
While the battle rages on the old scarred board.

Her hand, uncertain, moves the pieces slowly
As though she is off somewhere thinking,
And he, now patient, waits in a treasured time,
For her to contemplate and make her moves.

He is twenty-nine, and she is eighty-nine,
And though the opportunities rise,
Through my misty eyes,
I see my son, pulling punches.
Braden and my Mother, in their annual summer games....
Clasped a coffin handle, cold and bronze,
Felt the weight of earth's return to land,
Solemnity a clammy sweat upon my palms.

Six quiet men, prepped to stand and bear
The loaded cask, our passenger unaware,
Unheeding lids held tight her sightless stare,
While I, her nephew, stood wondering there.

Scarce breathing in my fear and grief, I strained,
Unwilling soldier forced to march in train
Toward a punctual station beside a mound of earth,
The period ending to a sentence spun from birth.
Little princess
Little princess
She is my everything,
she is wrap around
my little pinky
Little princess
Little princess
Little princess
She is my everything,
she is wrap around my little
pinky she is my world she
is my little princess and
she is daddy little girl.
© Amanda Kay Hill
1/18/15
 Feb 2017 Joshua Dougan
Muse
It is the root of all suffering
The poisonous bud blossoming
It's tendril will choke and consume
Reaching deeper leaving no room
The leaves will devour every light
Bittersweet berries a deadly delight
I am the root of all agonizing pain
My poison a potent drug to abstain
My tendrils I will be thy blissful doom
You are that which I crave to consume My leaves will steal your lovely lights
The bitter berries my horrid blight
You can recycle a
Lot of things like
Papers and cans
And boxes can be
Recycling
When you recycle
You can fun and
Makes a games out of
Recycling
So you kids recycle
That a young age and
If you make it fun they
Love to recycle and
They will continue to
Recycling
In their adulthood
And they also teach
Their kids too recycle
And to save the only
Planet earth we have
To live on and we all
Share it so if we all
Do are part we can
Save it planet for the
Future kids and make
The air saver to breathe
In fresh air and have not
Worry about get
sick from the air
Recycling
© Amanda Kay Hill
2/5/17
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