I actually haven't written raps in quite some time. Just poetry, but I got my start in 2008 on a website called my16bars (it has since gone down sadly) but I retained a lot of what I learned there.

There was a cool group of us young men who were daily users and we always shared our rhymes with each other and gave the best most honest critiques we could. as a group we wanted to elevate ourselves.

Life circumstances has changed me a lot, I have a son and am days away from having my daughter with my wife. Our life is great except for all the hardship,superficial and immediate. That's why I'm back at it now. And I take it a bit more serious. I'm shooting for poetry, wether traditional or slam but still I take a lot from rap lyricists and r n b artists.

I guess my idea is this tho, hello poetry is great but "likes" are kind of dated and hard to get. This will quickly become a popularity contest if we focus on the little heart. Instead I'm thinking of starting a chain, or forwarding group that we can share and critique, as well as repost and share/add to collections. This seems really redundant considering poetry groups are around and prevalent. But nobody, and you can look into this, nobody critiques poetry here. So people who rhyme are never tried and tested to do better.

The reason why a cypher works in rap is because if you **** people call you out right? Well that's not how it happens here in hello poetry, instead everyone likes and doesn't comment, or comments but no like, or likes and reposts but no comment. But I don't see anyone telling people that they could have done better, no one says "that's cool but maybe if you tried it this way" and honestly I myself am afraid to try this as well out of fear that my trying to be helpful will be misconstrued as an insult.

Poets can be the most sensitive people and for good cause. I liken myself to sensitivity but I hope one day we won't have to worry about hurting each others feelings and we can start really motivating each other to elevate our status. To do better. I'm not just searching for people to make me a better poet I'm looking for poets who want to get better with me.

California is a *****.
She's rude and obnoxious and
She doesn't give a ****.
She doesn't care about me...
Or my family...
Every threat I face she blames MY anatomy.
California harbors resentment, look at the lot of coverage.
Except it's directed east of LA and at laws that govern it.
It's really despicable, dare I say "deplorable".
Don't put your eggs in this basket trust me it's horrible.

I'm about to have a baby at 36 weeks
My wife is the only person I have to talk to.
My only support structure needs my support.
My rock is my son but he can't speak words yet.
My family seems preoccupied. Even during times like this.
I have friends... Oh wait... Where?
The first time was so stressful because we weren't sure what would happen.
Now we are just unprepared...
There's emotional support but everyone stops short of actually helping. Sad but true.
Meeting my daughter was supposed to be different.
I'm just upset I couldn't make it perfect for her.

People of California... Get a grip.

Have some standards poets!
Your audience beckons you.
If you talk about genitalia...
Then think of what that says of you.
A supple blossom, coupled with utter elation,
It is not grabbing her breast: your udder titillation.
Write what you will, poetry is of the heart.
But don't force yourself on her and call it art!