~


Winter comes, the dead of night
While all are fast asleep
A misty chill by morning light
So quietly to seep

A coat of frost, the blanket lies
Upon the fields of green
To twinkle of our early sight
As if inside a dream

The wind so brisk a’ flowing free
Through barren branches sing
As seasons form a constant line
Of magic for to bring

A touch of cold against our face
Our cheeks of rosy glow
To walk along without a trace
This prisitine bed of snow

The geese they call from on the lake
As if their life is new
In fashion formed of all we take
This pathway, me and you

Across a bridge of timbers worn
Now carved for all to see
Initials in a tiny heart
To last eternally

The birds a’ play about the trees
Their happiness in song
Now as this chilly winter day
Is moving right along

Holly sits atop the hill
Its berries crimson red
Visions in our hearts to fill
The beauty now is shed

Your hand in mine, we walk alone
As if our world is this
A chilly winter’s early dawn
We share a special kiss

To hold this in our memories
Of every day to come
In hopes that you are here with me
To share this wondrous love

Your smile is my sunny day
The warmth that fills my heart
Let’s spend each morning in this way
And never come to part

Until the dreams of many years
Does find this only true
And you will know when winter comes
*I’m so in love with you

I called and called,
Yet he still fought,
Threw me to the side and stepped on top,
Punched my nose, and made me bleed,
Come back, it's me was all i said.

I pointed the gun at him,
But I couldn't pull the trigger,
So I pointed it at my forehead and fell,
He knelled down and held it, steady.

There was nothing in his eyes,
Nothing but blankness,
I held his head in my hands,
Come Back, it's just me, I said.

It's just me, I repeated,
His hand on the trigger
**** me now, I said,
Then he looked away.

Look at me, I called,
And finally a soft Tris escaped his mouth,
I relaxed,
He was back,
He pulled away the gun from my head slowly,
Then he turned around and faced the enemy.

I can't keep it up
This smile on my face
It's making me sick
It's making me ache
How long do I have to pretend
Living this secret so long, I want it to end
I'm not ok, without you
What the Hell am I supposed to do
I don't want to wake up
And end the dream of you and me
Although I know, it will never be
You don't even see me
Or know I'm alive
What would get your attention
Can't you see the love in my eyes?
I go back to sleep, just to see your face
Will you notice me missing if I never awake?
I guess we will see, what will be, will be
*Goodnight my love...

To be locked in a room.
Just me and just you.
To make the whole world bloom,
only for us two.

Drinking words from your voice,
being satiated by your sight.
A glorious rejoice,
that could last the whole short night.

And then, maybe, along the hours
my skin could feast with yours.

When I was 14
I loved a girl named Amanda.
She swore she'd die for me.
She held my hand.
I never kissed Amanda:
She was with a boy named John.
For 3 years, we burned together like a flame,
Never touching.
And then one day, she understood, and ran away.
She loved me,
And I loved her,
And she ran away.

Then I found Mickey.
She did touch me.
When we kissed I felt gravity shift
And so did she.
And we held on,
We held on as hell rained down
We held on and hurt each other.
We bled
We fought
We loved
We reached for one another
With a need so immense it destroyed.
We fell apart
And then fell back together inevitably, involuntarily.
I looked at her like she was my god.
She looked at me like I was her judgement.
Eventually there came a time when there was nothing she could not hurt me with
And my love for her became an accusation in her eyes.
She ran, too. She boiled herself in guilt
And threw the scalding remnants in my face,
And I was blind,
And I loved her
And she loved me
And we never spoke
Again.

Therese kissed me on her anniversary with Nick.
I'd never had anyone look into my eyes
With such joy.
She broke down my resistance
Melted it.
When she touched me I shook.
I told her I loved her
And I saw a craving in those eyes
For exactly what I offered
And it
Leveled me with longing.
We danced for months, for nearly a year.
She would kiss me in the dark on the little bridge by the lake
And tell me she shouldn't
And kiss me again as if she couldn't stop.
I drowned in her.
If I could have pried my ribs open and offered her my heart,
I would have.
I said things to her
That shocked me.
I kissed her palms.
And she looked at me with those eyes
Full of joy.
Slowly, she opened before me like a rose,
She told me who she was.
She showed me what she hid.
And then one night
We sat at her kitchen table drinking ***** with juice
And we said everything.
She showed me her diary
That she keeps in fear that she will forget who she is.
It said, "Galaxies" on the inside cover.
She'd never shown anyone before.
She kissed me, she tucked my hair behind my ear,
She smiled at me,
And every time my heart broke with love I saw it hit her
Physically
Like a kiss, like a drug.
She held my hands, said they were beautiful
Said she wished she had hands like that
And I said take them
And she saw me mean it.
She took a black pen and wrote "Galaxies" on my left thumb,
Right next to the scar I got the day after Mickey left.
Later we pressed our skin together as if it could make us the same,
And I have never felt so safe or so whole.
She was like velvet
And through everything her eyes held that joy that squeezed my heart.
I knew she was afraid.
She was afraid because she felt it when I touched her.
She felt it when I loved her,
And she wanted it
Too much.
And so when she said she couldn't,
I already knew.
I haven't heard from her in a very long time.
She loves me.
I love her too.
And she may not come back.

Love is not told by touching.
Love is not told by kindness.
Love is not told by staying or going.
Love has no caveats, no clock, no rules.
Love is.
Love is in the eyes: They never lie.
It doesn't matter how chaste,
How cruel,
How brief.
Love is.
It is not required to be joyful, or easy.
Love is not bound to give
Answers--

What is love.
Can one just walk away?
"Sometimes."
Sometimes?

Sometimes.