Hannah Wydelle Lovel

Hannah Wydelle Lovel Dec 2021

Grief

Is it possible to grieve someone you never met?
I smiled for months feeling you two inside me
Thinking this was as good as life could get.

Five months later, the surgeon told us you no longer had a heartbeat.
Following the animalistic sobs, I realized that we'd never get a chance to really meet.

I carried your corpse inside me
until your sister could grow a little more.
The guilt and anger i hold inside me
Makes my heart and soul feel completely torn.

A few weeks later, they handed you to me all bundled up in a blanket. I held you for an hour before they took you away. The silent tears ran down my cheeks and all i did was pray.

Your twin sister, Christine, is doing well.
Sometimes when i look at her, i think of you and cry. It kills me to know you what you would have looked like, and I'm sure you would have given your daddy hell.

I love and miss you, my sweet Catherine.
Lord knows i struggle with faith, but i dream about meeting you in Heaven one day and i can't wait to hold you in my motherly arms again.

It's been a while.... but clearly i write when I'm hurting.

Hannah Wydelle Lovel Nov 2019

I Believe

I believe that there is a veil
between life and death.
And I believe that veil thins
as you take your first and last breath.

As people lay dying,
some say they can see God’s face
just like some speak about reuniting with
loved ones already in that Heavenly place.

Just the same, I believe children
also see things from the other side.
I believe their purity and innocence
gently blurs that great divide.

But as that innocence fades, society grooms
us to believe that seeing things is wrong.
Feeling a presence around you means
you’re crazy or insane instead of gifted or strong.

But what if….Bear with me…
What if, for some people, the veil stays thin?
What if that childlike gift of sight
remains intact and even grows within?

Well, I believe that happens…

So when you see something you can’t explain
or feel an icy touch against your skin,
just know that you’re not at all alone
and I hope you embrace your “gift” with a grin.

Hannah Wydelle Lovel Nov 2019

Home

Since I was fifteen,
I’ve searched for a home.
Somewhere my heart could
live instead of constantly roam.

I’ve craved a place or town
where I felt loved and accepted.
But every time I thought I got
close, fate simply intercepted.

Sometimes, I even found nostalgic
comfort in new and exciting places,
but I always ended up feeling
betrayed by the same familiar faces.

All along, while I’ve looked for
picket fences or a cul-de-sac street,
I never realized I’d find my home
inside two big brown eyes and a heartbeat.

#love #feelingloved #searchingforahome

Hannah Wydelle Lovel Aug 2019

Passion

My breath sharpens
and my eyelids close
as your traveling hand
along my bare skin slows.

You grab my neck, pull me in,
and press your lips against mine
as your hand lovingly
massages between my thighs.

You climb on top of me
sliding your hands along my waist.
Our lips connect again.
Oh my, how good you taste.

My muscles tense
and a soft moan escapes my lungs
as we connect our hearts,
our bodies, and our tongues.

No Explanation Needed <3

#passion #love #connection #lust #relationships

Hannah Wydelle Lovel Aug 2019

My Person

My love for you
grew quicker than a lie
and I fell for you effortlessly
without being able to pinpoint why.

But I know I feel calm around you
and completely safe in your arms.
You make me laugh constantly
and I fell victim to your flirtatious charms.

You’ve become my best friend
and without you, I don’t know what I’d do.
You’re my future, my person,
and I’m madly in love with you.

#love #relationships #safe #calm #healthylove #happiness

Hannah Wydelle Lovel Aug 2019

Stay - ;

You’re not fully healed
but you’re not still broken.
With every passing sunrise,
your soul earns another token.

You choose to keep going
when all you wanted was to quit,
and look how far you’ve come
from when your heart was severely split.

The light at the end of
your tunnel gets brighter every day.
Thank you for putting down the pills,
the knife, or the gun and choosing to stay.

Shout out to everyone who chose to keep fighting those inner demons.

#semicolon #stay #saveyourself #suicide #keepfighting

Hannah Wydelle Lovel Aug 2019

Get Back Up

You were nothing more
than a temporary fix,
a rubber band wrapped
around a pair of broken sticks.

You meant absolutely
nothing to him or his friends,
and it’s time you stop
crying over the inevitable end.

Stop dreaming about
the drives, dances, and kisses.
Because, trust me,
you’re the last thing he misses.

You deserved better
than how things happened.
Next time you jump in the dating game,
just make sure your seatbelt is fastened.

All there's left to do is stand back up, wipe your face, raise that chin, and act like everything is okay.

#movingon