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 Apr 2014 Isabella Pullivan
shåi
you are here
scrawled in the margin
of my college ruled
notebook

three words
filled with so much doubt
im tired of questioning

i dont want to choose
between confidence and uncertainty
because both hold
such empty promises

all i hear everyday
is what people say


lucy, you failed.
lucy, why did you bail?
lucy, you never changed
lucy, why are you here?

is lucy even here?

voices.
rise from the deepest
darkest corners

my name
construed on their egoistic
pessimistic
narcissistic
lips.

the cool wind
keeps my delirious thoughts
floating in the empty air

i am instantly
reassured that i am here
i am real

(b.d.s.)
suggestions are welcomed!
You are the ocean
I am the waves
I am always aware
Always a part of you
I just don't always show myself
But if triggered
I will become an overwhelming, magnificent part of you
which changes your perspective of me
in such a way that you can't remember what it's like without me
Present but invisible
I can go from calm to crashing
sinking ships deep inside you
the same way you sink into me
the only difference is the abandoned souls and their carrier
will forever remain, whereas you and I will never be the same
 Apr 2014 Isabella Pullivan
R
Yesterday it would seem that
the Sun was in our favor.
As we were touching and
realizing that Love is felt in
many more ways than one,
Solar Flares erupted from the Sun
and left me wanting more.
You were arching and I
was panting, Everything inside
of me ached for everything you
would share with me.

Good God, The Sun was in
our favor and I am very
grateful for it.
L <3
My dark heart,
Has taken wing.
Soaring into the abyssal deep.

It pumps black,
Souless blood.
I am reaper.
Once more.
 Apr 2014 Isabella Pullivan
Danya
the day i open my eyes and hear no voices
no screams, no shouts
the day i don't fear knowing and suspecting implications
no worries, no tension striking me
the day i don't have to hide all secrets
the day i stop dreaming and he starts believing whats real
for this day, i wait anxciously
goodbyes are even harder
when you don't know when
you will make your return.
saying farewell to the one
you love with nothing more
than just your skin as a carry on,
leaving all your possessions
in a room that will soon be
forgotten just like me. a room
that will become inhabited with
dust bunnies and broken fragments
of the past that we promised
we would never forget.
 Apr 2014 Isabella Pullivan
Dev A
In my head
A picture grows,
Coming to life
As figures dance
And swirl,
Creating a movie
In my mind.
The words on the page
Take on a meaning.
No longer scribbles,
Or lines,
Or marks.
They come together
Telling a story
All their own.
Quotations and dialogue
Become voices;
Shouting, yelling, laughing.

No longer I sit-
Bored out of my mind-
In a class which holds
Zero interest to me.
No longer I read-
Making words into pictures-
Redirecting my attention.
No longer do I have to imagine,
A world, a land, a ship;
The characters are alive.
No longer do I sit here.
I am now
A character in my story.

My favorite characters
Now my best friends.
Their enemies
Are now mine.
Fighting side-by-side,
Journeying across
Unknown lands.
I'm part of the book;
I'm sailing the seas
And trekking
Through mountains.

A voice,
A distraction,
Snaps me back,
Back to reality.
Scenes revert back,
Back to images
Still and unmoving.
Words on the page
Returning to squiggles,
Unreadable marks.

The magic of the story,
Of the book,
Disintegrates.
No longer
Holding me under it's spell.
Capturing that which was lost,
Will not be easy
But won't take as long
To become immersed,
Once more,
Into the magical world,
Of reading.
 Apr 2014 Isabella Pullivan
pam
ive been trying you know
ive been trying to forget you
that first hello
i wish it was a dream
that you never existed, no faults to redeem.

ive been trying to pretend
that this would be a fairytale in the end.

a reality i keep trying to accept
but when your face intercepts

memories flashback and everything that has been.
and it cuts like a blade in my skin
leaving all the scars and mind numbing pain.

you're an angel in disguise
you were using your innocent eyes
but now i realized
everything was a huge lie.
-PD
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