Contrary to popular belief
You don’t stop loving a man after he hits you
If anything it just leads you to wonder
Why did I deserve this? What did I do wrong? This is my fault, I should’ve seen this coming.
What can I do to fix this? How could I make myself better? How can I prevent this from happening again?
Contrary to popular belief
When he says he won’t do it again, he doesn’t actually mean it.
It’ll only gets worse.
How far can I go? Why does she stay?
I have her wrapped so tight around my finger and my fingers so tight around her throat.
Why does she love me? Will she believe me when I say I love her, that I will change?
Contrary to popular belief
Things will only change for the first couple days.
He will apologize.
Why do you love me? How did I become such a **** up? I had a rough childhood, I don’t want to end up like my father. Couldn’t you see how you provoked me? What would I ever do without you? Could you please forgive me?
Contrary to popular belief
You will forgive him with a lump in your throat, this time is no different than the last.
Things will never be the same
You’ll step more lightly when he’s near, breathe more quietly. You’ll feel the same fear you felt when he first pushed you against the wall every time a door closes too hard. You’ll still lie to everybody about the bruises.
Contrary to popular belief
You can only lie to yourself for so long
You don’t really believe he’ll change, but you’re afraid of change anyways. You’ll settle. I know the real him, he didn’t mean to hurt me. His anger just gets the best of him sometimes, but it’s not his fault. He’s really sweet, I swear. He loves me.
Contrary to popular belief
He doesn’t love you
When he struck you your best interest was the least of his. He knew he did wrong.
He doesn’t understand the severity of what he’s done, nor does he care to. History repeats itself.
Contrary to your beliefs
He never loved you
A rough draft. Unfortunately I could go on. Unfortunately I’ll have to.