Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
IdleHvnds Jul 13
I’m recognizing a pattern —
I noticed it before, but I hoped it was not true.

This shadow that follows me, it devours any connection that I try to have.
It evokes fear, causes others to fade away —
I’m not worthy, is a spiralling thought that never leaves.
I talk too much, feel too much, care too much.
I need to shrink myself, detach myself to my own emotions.

But it’s easier said than done, I don’t want to shrink.
I’ve made myself digestible so many times, only to spit out with disgust.
And the pattern repeats itself.
IdleHvnds Jun 28
I crave connection —
so much so that I become ravenous.
devouring any ounce of contact like a starved child.
not caring if soft words or sweet caresses are poisoned with crooked intention.

I crave connection —
so much so that the craving turns to solitude
Isolating myself while I digest these crumbs of antipathy.
IdleHvnds Jun 28
It burns the heart —
When realization hits, you were playing a game that they never told you about.

You stand at the centre of the board —
mocked, shamed for not following the enigmatic rules.
IdleHvnds Jun 13
I never knew what comfort really felt like until I met you.

Comfort, once foreign, now feels strangely asperous.

If I had known I’d be invited to dance with my demons,

I’m not so sure I would have pursued you...

Fear creeps behind me with every confident step I take toward you.

I find myself frantically searching for an escape—
an easy way out.

Who are you to enter my life with such certainty,

only to sidestep my every reach?

Perhaps this dance is not with my demons,
but with yours.
IdleHvnds Feb 27
There are shadows that follow me,
haunting and taunting me.

There are shadows that follow me,
ravenous, salivating, ready to consume me.

They speak ever so sweetly, all the while threading each word with malignancy.

There are shadows that follow me,
I straighten my spine, while I feel them caress me.

There are shadows that follow me,
Paralyzed, while they devour me.

There were shadows that followed me.
Yes, I know that title is from the vampire tv show. Yes, I'm trying to lighten the poem by adding it.
IdleHvnds Feb 21
The outbursts of angry women,
the most beautiful thing to witness.

We fight to be heard —
Another cycle, that will never end..
It is only a wish to watch the fall of men.
I no longer wish to shrink myself for the sensitivity of men.
Anger is an emotion all women should express and the song of anger is finally being sung.
IdleHvnds Feb 21
Dear self,
Who am I, really?
I’ve grown up to follow the teachings of other,
Of being other —
But never be myself.
Next page