IdleHvnds

IdleHvnds Feb 27

There are shadows that follow me,
haunting and taunting me.

There are shadows that follow me,
ravenous, salivating, ready to consume me.

They speak ever so sweetly, all the while threading each word with malignancy.

There are shadows that follow me,
I straighten my spine, while I feel them caress me.

There are shadows that follow me,
Paralyzed, while they devour me.

There were shadows that followed me.

Yes, I know that title is from the vampire tv show. Yes, I'm trying to lighten the poem by adding it.

#fear #inner #demons #haunting #melancholy

IdleHvnds Feb 21

the fall of man

The outbursts of angry women,
the most beautiful thing to witness.

We fight to be heard —
Another cycle, that will never end..
It is only a wish to watch the fall of men.

I no longer wish to shrink myself for the sensitivity of men.
Anger is an emotion all women should express and the song of anger is finally being sung.

#feminism #women #power #resistance #rage #empowerment

IdleHvnds Feb 21

the stranger

Dear self,
Who am I, really?
I’ve grown up to follow the teachings of other,
Of being other —
But never be myself.

IdleHvnds Feb 21

seedling

Now the real challenge,
Creating a balance,
A routine in which I can only grow from.
Sow a seed into the ash,
Watch the seedling flourish
More resilient —
The soul finally taking root in the earth.

#personal #growth #rebirth #resiliency

IdleHvnds Feb 21

i can hear the piano in the distance

Once again, I lay here,
Misty eyed, exhausted —
Listening to Etude by Joep Beving,
Sinking into a cool and shallow pool.

Floating in a saddened relief of safety,
Floating,
It’s important to sit in ones emotions,
I’ve been told it helps to connect with one’s self.
Floating,
I feel like every broken piece of me floats away,
Separating myself further from being whole.
Oh, how I wish to be a whole being —
To no longer fumble on gripping every piece of me.

Slicing flesh from the rigid part of me,
Sinking,
Sinking into a cool and shallow pool.
The haunting melody of piano, fading into the distance.

#solitude #melancholy #floating

IdleHvnds Feb 21

et voilà

Oh, how I wish to find a safe space.
A warm space,
A dreamy space,
Somewhere I can feel warmth and be welcomed
Perhaps,
I am not deserving of finding such space.
Am I not looking hard enough?
Or is it that I am looking to hard,
Over analyzing,
Missing the subtle signs of what this space is.
Have I become blind to seeing it?
Have I missed it?
Is it no longer a space that is available for me?

Wherever it is, I don’t believe I’ll find it in this city.

#longing #love #wanderer #melancholy

IdleHvnds Feb 21

go for a walk

As I spiral to this existential dread,
I still hope for a light to appear, to guide me out of this never ending cycle.
Although, I break everyday
In frustration and panic, I look for reprieve.
One day, I’ll find home.
Ground myself, in comfort and love.
Today, unfortunately is not that day.

I wander lost in sorrow,
Perhaps a walk outside will dissolve these negative emotions.

#anxiety #sorrow