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I can’t wait until I’m an adult and have random nights where I go out with my husband to fancy parties and we take a cab and get all dressed up and dont know anyone at the party but get drunk together and have a blast and make fools of ourselves and almost get kicked out but everyone loves us anyway because they see how much we are in love and dont care what they think then we escape into a cab in the rain and rush home to sit on the kitchen floor at 3 am eating ice cream out of the carton drunk and laughing the whole time
 Mar 2016 Hi It's Haliyah
Delilah
I hate my wandering lips and all of the people they have kissed
I hate all the times my mouth has calmed the nerves of someone else
To heal their wounds while simultaneously hurting myself
I hate the lack of love and the soul ******* power one unfamiliar kiss has on me
I hate the next morning and the empty dull ache in my head
And the smell of my breath like some wilting flowers
Growing hot and moldy in the sun
I hate kissing without love
I thought I would grow numb but instead
I am the only one with feelings left
My emotions will rush me to my death
Feeling good
in my skin
today.

Like a
well-scrubbed
potato.
©Elisa Maria Argiro
 Mar 2016 Hi It's Haliyah
ringnir
You asked,
"What if my Sunday has passed?
That the week was all I had,
and I messed it up so bad."

And in cognition,
I ungripped my neck.
I saw a counterpart — I was not the only one.

I knew how it was, to dangle by the jagged pier.
And you knew how it was to choke by disregard,
that floating was impossible with a punctured heart.

When each door meant nothing —
used and crossed out in your likeness.
Where I waited for the Sun,
but my windows stay boarded up.

You scraped bottom until my first word fell.

I said,
"I am a prisoner. And I am the prison."
You said,
"I am a cage, with nothing breathing inside."

I was alone. And you were alone.
And then we were alone together.

You unpicked my fearful lips,
for my throated echoes.
And I reminded you that you
are the reason that beauty exists.

Of the endless books we read,
Auster, Hesse, McCullers, Graves,
we still found ourselves
written on the same page.

Our tattoos were marked like scars —
another hopeless attempt
to speak with ink.
Why not mar the skin,
if we lose only grace?
I used to believe perfection was false,
for I had never seen your face.

You pointed out
my large feminine hands.
Then with your modest fingers,
you screened the chuckles.
And all I pictured from that endearing sight —
my effeminate hands, sheltering yours that frigid night.

No longer living in a future that was all talk.
No longer imperfect — for our scars sat perfect with.

We found Sunday.

I am not alone. And you are not alone.
And we are never alone together.
My seams are starting to fray
For your own good, you better stay away..

Like a car in hydroplane
Or a run away train
These thoughts of mine are off the track
Anxiety on top of anxiety stacked
There is no coming back

I keep the details dim
So on the outside looking in
Nothing is as at seems
Everything just beams
It all seems so copacetic
But it's so pathetic
Before long I'll need a paramedic
Cuz inside my head it's so chaotic

My thoughts race on and on
And none of it's good
My life has never been as it should
Mom would you of protected me if you could?
Or did you just trun a blind eye
It makes me want to cry
There is still so much left to say
But it all flew by with the days

Next chapter is my life in hell
God just watched as I fell
I was on my knees and ready to sell
I was broken of spirit
Just praying for preseverance
I was beaten into submission
Choked in such violation

Next chapter with a stupid man
That let me stay and stand
I just stayed at home and did the best I could
All alone I stood
Still evil struck
My whole family is ******.
Tried my hardest still I failed
It was years before it was all unveiled

Sadly my son will feel just like me
For him there will be no glee
Only destruction is left for me to see
And with my last breathe I'll plead
Demons let my son be

This life is so ****** up
I'm about to erupt
Would it be so corrupt
If this nightmare life ended abrupt!
I woke today
In the usual way
Alarms blaring
Clock uncaring
Sleep fleeting
Sun greeting
Eye's blinking
Minutes ticking

Yes everything was the same, the normal routine
But I could feel that cold clutch of something unseen
Today might be different plight
There's something not quite right
Apprehension over me rolled
Something in the wind had gone cold
It's making my soul shiver
Like being submerge in a cold river

Clock ticking
Thoughts thickening
Eyes darting
Fear starting
Breath catching
Life injecting
Uncertainty
I woke today
In the usual way
To find the day
In decay
 Mar 2016 Hi It's Haliyah
Lia
fd
 Mar 2016 Hi It's Haliyah
Lia
fd
i should have known better
you showed all the signs
but i was blindly infatuated
my mistake
i should never have put my eggs in your basket
it's a story half told if I let out pain
and play with kind words
only to not relive
a bit of disappoint.

it's a story half told
every time words walk
and halt only to one ear,
what happens to them
is another story half told
for people who ask for more
and receive more then they can hold.
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