It doesn't matter what you said
i get a grip when i lose my step
its not that easy to break me

we are all silhouettes against the sun
shadows on a hill
pebbles rolling down a stream
and one more empty space to fill

is the pain really worth the prize
is the suspense really worth the surprise
the path darkens
the light in front gets brighter
but i am going nowhere

your gaze
puts sunlight underneath my skin

I'm ready to step out
i guess i always was
but was too scared
to face the fact that
i am not the only person on this planet
with a life worth living

i am ready for sacrifice
of time, money, and comfort
i am ready to be free
of the fickle judgements of others
i am ready to reach out
and enjoy me
and pour into others
and pray for real
and be legit
and dream
and work
and fight
and make life a journey
of thought and sacrifice
and love

maybe
all i've ever wanted is for someone to hold my hand
and to know that they will never let go
maybe
you are just too busy being right
to see how badly i need help
maybe
I've tried to fill the fissures in my heart
with music and school for too long
maybe
the reason im doing my project on personality is so
i can find a way to change mine
maybe
im terrified of the next moment
when you might slam me down
the second i open up

maybe i don't want to be the smartest
maybe i don't want to be just like you

maybe
i cry tears that you had no idea were even there
maybe i need a friend who means it for once

but one thing i am sure of
i was wrong when i thought
that i could find that friend
in you

I wish I could control them,
But for me its like a switch,
Either they are there,
Or there are none at all,
When I have them I wish I didn't,
As my love is always placed in the wrong hearts,
Who don't feel the same for me,
All I can do is wish the best for them,
And love them from afar,
As I will just get hurt.

You showed me one of your most beautiful creatures you ever made. The most caring and compassionate woman I've ever met. What do i do? I go and squander it. It's always been about a girl... Its what pulls my heart strings and gives me hope. I guess thats the root of my problems... abandonment issues more or less. I seek beautiful, lovely, smart and caring women and I chase them away. I know im not good enough to keep them, so, I make a reason for them to leave. I cry out to the lonely voice in the sky for advice or guidance, and I feel more lost then ever.