It's the easiest thing in the world
To fall in love...
But keep being in it
It's the toughest of them at all.

Is it possible to be able to live with a constant ache that starts to feel like it's  the only thing that's keeping you alive?

Is it possible to somehow be able to live with a hole shape of your heart in your chest?

Is it possible to become one with ones deepest darkest pain as if that's the only significant thing left?

Is it the brain or the heart that's need to shut up for one to completely lose themselves?

Can't see
Beyond the fog
Of this helplessness.
  
      Prayers are
      Not enough to
      Sanctify this darkness.

            The urge
            To bleed within
            Fighting this hopelessness.

                   Fleeting moments
                   Piercing through
                   This bond of deception.

                           Lies among the truth
                           Fate of my destiny
                           Wait enough to hold
                           A stand for confession.

Help held inside
This mind of mine
Fight against myself
Burn. ...
Or hurt to Sanctify.

Anger,
              Pain,
                      And burning eyes.
Hurt,
          Despair,
                         And despise.
Hate,
           Blame,
                        And smile.
Flames,
             Blisters,
                           In disguise.
Tears left,
                   And Tears dry.

As we walk over the lawn
     Facing the wrath of the crashing waves
    Feeling the dew beneath the sole of our foot
     As the grass tickles on every footstep

As the sun rises up with all of it's technicolour glory
    Bathing the sky with golden glitter
         Burning the water in it's yellow liquid rage.

As the wind chilled our bones
      But the beauty keep us warm
As the birds take flight
      To keep the young one fed
As the smell of the ocean
       Nurture wounds as a balm
As Foam form ashore
        Wet sand on our toes
As the day embrace the light
        The promise kept by the night
As a new hope emerges
         Just this day we'll keep up the fight.

Drift with the wind....
     Float above the water.
      
Relish the thirst. ...
     Consume the hunger.

Dive under the water. ..
      Breath through your soul.

Live among the rest. ..
      Until you're one whole.

Shine under the shadows. .
      Dance through the pain.

Calm within the storm...
      Burn under the rain.

Dark beyond the light ...
       No passion forgotten.

Blister within ice...
       Don't wait for tomorrow.

Someone asked me today ...
       Do you even remember what it's like to fall in love that early in your life.?...
       "you were just a kid with out of reach dreams ...with an innocence about life that only be stolen with coming years and experience ".
       Do you even remember??

I actually don't remember. ..
     When you turn into my home?...
      When I first started noticing you?...
       When you become the core to my existence? ..
         When you stood out among the rest?
I don't remember. ..
         When or why I started craving the arguments we used to have?
          When you became the highlight of the day?
          Why I always went back to you?.
          When you became the centre of my gravity?.
I don't remember. ..

I just remember. ..
    That we used to live across the street from each other.
    That I grew up in your family as a member.
     That you were an aloof personality.
     That once I called you an arrogant with hostility.

I remember. ..
     Crying my eyes out on your shoulder. ..when the world was closing down.
I remember. ..
     Being surprised by your fierceness and the strength of your arms.
I remember. ..
     You pulling me upward and keeping me together...when my heart's about to gave out.
I remember. ..
    Losing myself but finding you in the end.
I remember. ..
    Being crazy scared about your reaction when I found the courage to confess.
I remember. ..
    Coming home when you said yes.

If it was possible..
I would exchange my heart,
With an eve bark...
So that someone will write,
Something this beautiful about it.

He said he knew me...
For who I was.
Said he saw me....
As I was.
Loved me to the core...
For what I was.

Perfection.... he said I defined.
Projection....but his heart was mine.
Respect and adoration ...
Made his eyes shine.

His words ....left a greater meaning.
His eyes....told me from the beginning.
His smile...finally reached his eyes.
The fight....at last he did decide.

The faith in me...
     ...more about the faith in him.
The love for me...
     ...more the love for him.

On the journey of finding myself,
                   I found a broken heart.
We went on an adventure together,
                   No questions asked.

We bonded on shared love for music,
            Movies,books and abstract art.
We huddled when the road bumped,
            Then....we drifted apart.

With a constant ache for more,
           We Kept trying to make it last.
An unspoken rule to let go,
            To not think about the future past.

A rocky Mountain,
         With smooth silk lane.
A fresh perspective of storm,
          Just to keep us sane.

An impossible possibility,
        An uncharacteristic faith.
A bond formed with respect,
        No caring for mutual gain.

An attachment. ..or attraction...
                 Didn't know the name.
Just a bug ruptured,
                 Driving us insane.

One couldn't express,
                 One couldn't hide.
Push and pull of desire,
                  Love came in blind.

Few smiles. ...immensely expressive eyes.
One look of naked emotions. ...
The dam broke....and the ice vaporised.

An innocent connection,
              A trap set to entrap.
A twisted tale of desperation,
               A bond left inept.

An angel....
       With a smile of the devil,
Got a heart full of warmth. ..          
        With the mind of an evil.

Desired to reach inside...
       Within the vaults you tried to hide.
A crack left it open....
         The door stretched wide.

The hand reached out to help...
       The hand snatched it away.
A single question asked...
        Stand the ground and just stay.

A step closer to the glory....
        A step closer to the doom.
There's no time to flourish...
         There's no time to bloom.

The beginning was the end. ..
       The end was the beginning.
The round and round and round. ..
        It's about time to let it stand still.

Emotions filled up to the brim
starts to leak out...
It hurts all over the place
Someone please tell my mind 'time-out'.

The tears seems unending. ..
The heart uncontrolled. ..
The way to my home...
Blocked with an open door.

I've seen the worst of it,
I'm standing at the same place.
It's been a thing to forget,
It was kinda my safe place.

As if the world slows down,
With my each passing breath.
As if my heart trying to fight,
It's way out my chest.
As if I'm soon gonna wake up,
From this life in nightmare.
As if I could wash it all way,
With nothing but my tears.
As if it would stop being inside me,
If I take it out on paper.
As if I can fill this void,
With just my sheer passion,
As if I can go back,
and start from the beginning.

No words can describe,
What it's like to be here.
No words can portray,
This collateral damage.

It's a funeral of my heart,
Don't know how I've survived.
The faces I love,
Wanna run away from and just hide.

Can I say what I want?
Would it matter?....absolutely not.
Everything is a waste..
Every effort in vain..
Every moment drags..
Every life a sentence..

I'm alone in every memory,
Why I miss.. anything wasn't here..
Why does it feels...
As if you left in this very moment.

I won't show anymore...
The feelings I have.
I won't relish being in pain...
This poem will be the last.

Come closer if you please,
I'll calm the storm you're trying to ease.
Being pliant in your hands,
Oh baby!..I won't make demands.

Give me anything you have..
It's alright. ...I won't ask for what you can't.
In this unknown we're living in,
I promise...I won't expect.

It's all hidden in the depth of your soul,
We're something to be proud...just keep on holding on.
A secret closest to the heart...
To only us it's known.

Navigate your way through your heart,
You won't ever be astray.
I know what it's like...
Oh baby. ..I ain't got no complaints.

You win...I'll lose,
You lose...I'll lose.
The argument we keep having,
Maybe it's us. ..trying not to chose.

We are perfect the way we are,
I don't want anything more.
I've got the most precious thing,
Nothing else can be given anymore.

As I made the journey...
       From "what I could"...to "what I should "..
I died a thousand million deaths.

Every insecurity. ..
       Every doubt...
               Every failure...
                      Every fear....
Came rushing towards....
           knocking me a few pegs down.

The mirror.......the reality..
The choices.......the destiny..
My life......my sanctuary. .
My safe place.....my sanity.

The mess I've created...
    The Love I crave...
My heart losing control. ...
     My mind telling to behave.

The battle ground inside...
    Which side to choose...
No matter how I play it...
     It is me whose gonna lose.

My eyes cry...
     My lips smile...
          My heart beats...
                My soul dies.

One moment. ..one emotion.
I was lost to oblivion...
      A different version of myself.
For better or for worse??
       You were there......
              Do you not like me anymore?.

On a certain moment of your life,
You will think about. ..
What is it that you've achieved? ?or
What is it that you've earned?

Is it the material you've collected? ?
Or the emotions you've felt??
Is it the grand gestures you've received?
Or the moments of eternal peace? ?

Are the relations made for life?
Or the life made for relations? ?
Does love conquer all?
Or it doesn't matter at all. .

A life before the death. .
A life lived without the depth. .
Insignificant. ..extra...or ordinary. .
A life of big.....or a life of small? ?
So many questions. ...
No one answers anymore.

As the night descends upon,
The aloofness washes away.
As the world slows down,
And the truth starts to sway.

The lustre and the shine,
Shedding like yesterday's wardrobe.
The flames are siren's call,
The sailors turns to moth.

The pretense,
       The living of the lie.
The hard truth,
       Staring back right into the eyes.
The washed away makeup,
       The scars and spots back to life.
The smile that hurts,
        Returning to that smile.

The face of unknown,
      The body still feel the same.
The warmth you're looking for,
      In the pleasure that aches.

You are me
      And I am you.
Wishing for the moment,
       That I was loving you.

The darkness of the night,
      Everything turns too bright.
A 3 am reality....
                   Turning off the light.

As I walked the dark hallways
To navigate my way through
The desperation to feel something
Something real
Or the promises to reach out to
The brightest part or corner of my heart
Where it all lies in a jumbled mess
To solve it I gotta resolve
The issue inside the conditional box
Tucked below my bed
In a color coordinated portfolio
To lure away the bogeyman
I gotta wake up from this
Insomnia to prevent it from
Turning the dream into the nightmare.

The light won't shine on your part.
The sun will not engulf you in it's warmth.
You'd lose your power to restore,
To rejuvenate. ..to be worthy of it's essence.
When the morning turns to dark,
Think of me.

The road to your happiness will be blocked,
The door that had been cracking open,
and making your way smooth will be closed.
You'd lose your power to open whats enclosed.
When you walk down the road to your doom.
Think of me.

The home you left behind will be there no more.
The address of your distress is what will be waiting for .
Everything that's good will be a privilege you can not afford.
When you make your final journey to the thing you called home.
Think of me.

There won't a twilight zone.
The stars so far beyond your eyes reach.
Nothing beautiful you'll ever be able to see .
The wind won't caress your skin.
The softness of an affection you will never feel.
When the night turn the darkest before the dawn.
Think of me.

And When you'll be left alone to defend your own.
Think of me.

With the promise to never see each other again,
we started our journey on the separate paths.
Crossing the bridges,
Mounting the hurdles,
When we reached our destined destinations,
We were facing the same side.

Keep on smiling ..
     If you wish for me to smile.
Keep on moving...
     If you wish for me to walk by.

Keep on reaching...
     Someone will hold you tight.
Keep on pursuing...
      No one can make you hide.

Keep on looking...
     If you wish someone to find.
Keep on loving...
     And I'll meet you on the other side.

I'm a picture ...
     You're my portrait.
I'm abstract. ..
       You're there present.
Live in the moment. ..
         Life's too short to waste on stand by.

I know that

        you are waiting

                    For me to say something

                                    Like always.

But this time

        I'm choosing

                     To stay quite.

It was a mirage,
       A hallucination of my mind.
I was consumed by it,
       From out to inside.

Every step,
      An echo of the last.
Every move,
      Reflection from the past.

The dire sense of responsibility,
Not caring about faith or fidelity.

I sit on my bed,
     I think about you for ages.
I think about our shared past,
     The childhood, the youth.
I think about the present,
      Or the lack of it,if I'm being honest.
I think about the isolated despair,
      That we're currently living in.
I think about the non existing future.

And then,
Slowly. ...slower than slowly..
The world around me started to change.
The possibilities of the possibility is the reality in this world.
In here it went exactly according to the plan.
We didn't loose our innocence or the part our souls.
There wasn't any restrictions or boundaries.
There wasn't any walls between us,
    Didn't have to fight for security.

As world proceeded...
Chip by chip...brick by brick..
It all started to fall,
In this alternative reality..
We didn't knew the sadness. ..but we didn't knew the happiness. .
Everything important lost the lustre.
Every lesson forgotten. .
Every scar vanished...
We were now different personalities.
The bond weakens,
Submitting to the true nature.
You weren't the person I loved ...
I wasn't a person to be loved.

Which one was better?... In between two different realities..
That question remained unanswered.

Keeping everyone at the arm length,
    Not trusting a soul.
This isolation you choose for yourself,
    Is it yours or someone else's fault?

A jaded heart,
     A broken trust.
          A love unfinished,
                And an unquenched thirst.

It hurts to love,
    More so to be loved.
           A race unending,
                  But finishing is must.

Trusting the instinct,
     No fear to be ashtray.
              Fighting the battle,
                     No shelter  ,   no escape.

A pilgrimage of your own,
          Don't need the rest.
                 Everyone left behind,
                       Turned to ashes or dust.

Is it really about?
        If you need someone or not.
You came alone in this world,
        You gonna go alone as well.