We walked along the shore
She and I
Talking and laughing
Saying words that meant something
Something more
We shared emotions
Feelings
Thoughts that carried us further along
It was a beautiful day
Sun was shining
Gentle breeze
The smell of the ocean
Bare feet leaving a trail
Finding beautiful shells along the way
Everything was wonderful
Amazingly so
And then I did something
Something stupid
Foolish
I hurt her feelings
Clouds came in
Her sea raged
Storm clouds brewed
I was in the middle of her tempest
Told to be quiet and wait it out
It is not something I do well
Not at all
I walked into her sea and raged at her nature
Expecting respect
Getting none
Only more rage
A tsunami of anger
Raised up before me
I both stood my ground and asked for forgiveness
I have my own nature
But it is too late
The sea took her back
All I have are left are memories
Fading footprints in the sand
And heartache
She was beautiful to behold
She was more than a friend
More that I could ever have dreamed of
Now she is no more
I’ll stand on the shore and remember her
A little while longer
See if the tides bring her back
But it gets chilly here at night
Cold and lonely
And it looks likely that she will never return
Hands in my pockets I dream of what might have been
And cry
Tears littering the sand
She was too much for me to hold
I have to let her free
She is a force of nature that cannot be confined
The sad truth
I love her still
Always
The walk back to the road will take forever
The dunes are high and I am weary
No other way
One foot in front of the other
Good bye my love
I cannot stay any longer
Or the pain of knowing you will carry me out to sea
On the cliff
I take one last look
Moon shining on the waves
Say a prayer for dead loves
Walking down the road
Trying to forget
How much I hurt
Maybe tomorrow
Not likely
But I have hope
Now even more
Because I have felt love stronger
Stronger than ever before
Both ruined and reborn
Good bye my love

If I could only tell you
How much pain I’m in
If I could only share
How I feel
I know I can’t right now
It wouldn’t be fair
To burden you so
Not right now
When you are already
Carrying so much
So right now
I carry enough love
For both of us
Uphill
In the rain
Of my tears
You inspire me
To stand next to you
Even when
Your back is turned to me
You better be worth it
The weight of all this
Crushing my heart
Every vertebra of my love
Feels the weight of you
The weight of us
On my shoulders
All I can see
Is what is at my feet
The next step
In front of me
Plodding on
Without encouragement
What I do for you
You better be worth it
Love me like no other
No other loves you as much
Am I crazy?
Are you crazy?
Are we crazy together?
Yes
Yes
And I don’t know
I know I’m worth love
Are you worth mine?
You better be worth it
All this pain for naught?
Well
I’ll learn how strong I am
I’ll learn something from this
What I want to learn is
How much You love Me
‘Cause I’m tired of these
One way head trips
So here I am
Holding my heart
In my outstretched hands
Blood dripping on my feet
Giving you the space and time
You need
I hope you’re worth me

I don’t want to be the one who let The One get away.
I don’t want to be the one who forced you to stay.
I don’t want to be the one who lives with regret.
I don’t want to be the one you wish you never met.

Sometimes the pain of love is strong
When you’ve done something wrong
The days and nights are long
Filled with sad songs

You made me believe
Shook my tree bare of leaves
Now I’m naked you see
Not easy for me

The truth never dies
Even when hidden from eyes
There’s a truth you should know
My heart will never let you go

I don’t want to be the one who let The One get away.
I don’t want to be the one who forced you to stay.
I don’t want to be the one who lives with regret.
I don’t want to be the one you wish you never met.

When push comes to shove
Always choose love

It’s one of those days
Where the mask is slipping
The only smile I can muster
Is so weak and pitiful
I don’t even try
The pain is just under the surface
On the verge of tears
All day long
It was just a single memory
Tugging on the vestments of our marriage
Unraveling what has already been torn apart
Into a tangled knotted mess
One thought that cascades
Into every other memory
Seeking the truth
In all of this
Where did it go wrong?
Where did I go wrong?
What was the starting point
For the ending?
I come to realize
It’s not the warning signs
I neglected to heed
It was the warning sirens
I didn’t want to hear
The excuses made
Realities altered
All the little straws
Thrown upon my back
Now feel like logs
I know there was a time
When I loved her
I know because it hurts
Hurts that I tried
And nothing really mattered
Not me
Not us
Just her
Now the pain
Is just a dull nagging ache
No longer sharp
I try not to let her cut me anymore
But she still does
And she doesn’t even know it
Worn out
Worn down
Worn away
Not much is left
Good memories?
Tainted by
Unanswered questions
I guess it doesn’t really matter
Did she ever really love me
We don’t share
We don’t care
We don’t dare
Today is hard
Hard to remember
When it was good
Hard to fake a smile
I don’t feel
On the verge of tears

Wow
You did a number on me
It was 8 letters
Times 3 words
With 1 meaning
That equaled
2 gether
4 ever

How much you built me up
Lovely words
Typed back and forth
The things you said
On the phone
That caressed my ears
How much
You loved me
And then you
Walked away

I guess
I’ll never really know
Except I can
Guess
It wasn’t enough
Enough to respect
My feelings
And before you get
All defensive
Really
They are
My feelings

I had my concerns
About you
And I really wanted to
See it thru
Such a little thing
Ended it?
Well
Then
It wouldn’t have lasted
Anyway
But no
Hard feelings
Am I upset?
Yeah
And angry
Just a little
But I’m mostly
Thankful
Thankful for the experience

I learned something from you
I learned something about
Myself
About what
I want
I learned that
I have the strength
To stand up for
Myself
To assert
Myself

I don’t know
If you ever really were
Who you said you were
I want to believe you
But I will always question
Were you true?
Too good to be true?
Yes

Now I pick up my
Bruised
Dented
Chipped
And dinged
Heart
Tuck it back under my arm
And walk away
*****
Stronger
Prouder
Smarter
With more love to give
I hope no matter what happens
That’s how I live my life

Yes
It hurts sometimes
The pain is palatable
Tears fall
That’s just so
When it’s good
You know it
So
I say goodbye
I hope you find
What you are looking for
I’m glad you let me go
And didn’t keep me hanging on
In the in between

Maybe someday
I’ll drop you a line
Let you know
I met someone wonderful
Amazing
Someone who
Erases the memory of you
So completely
That I have to struggle
To remember your name
Not that I ever will
You were
And will always be
Amazing

831

Ones and Zeros
In the online digital world
Every boy and every girl
Are villains and heroes
Who knows which?
Son a of a *****
 
The truth is lies
Wrapped up in disguise
We want to believe
Electronic love we receive
Is not there to deceive
The flirting
The sexting
The online molexting
**** pic rejecting
 
Encrypted ascii code
Sent through internet nodes
Wireless whispers transmitted
Thoughts of endearment committed
Fact are conveniently omitted
Lies are ruthlessly submitted
 
Straight jacket
Packet hackers
Hijacking a loving heart
Holding it ransom is their art
Scourge of the community
Harassing
Surpassing
Any level of dignity
 
Players and haters
And the masturbators
The downright crazies
Acting like timid daisies
The cheaters
Defeaters
And quite possibly
Wife beaters
 
The losers
The boozers
Mentally abusers
The popular sexter
Who may not be a her
Quite possibly a guy
But will vehemently deny
 
The whiner
Data miner
The ******* seeking minor
The scammer
The Christian Damner
Super **** grammar
All thrown in together
With the digital picture collector
 
And still we’re looking all around
For love to be found
In a world of made believe
That anonymously deceives
We are ones seeking zeroes
Running into villains dressed up as heroes
 
Hearts shredded and deleted
Retreating and defeated
Yet somehow we try again
Hoping for something less than pain
We are all a little bit insane
Playing the online dating game
One’s and Zero’s

Thank you for being there
When I needed you most
You always seemed to know
When I was loneliest
When I was lost
Without hope
Without love
You trusted me
To be good
When everyone else
Labeled me bad
You saw who I was inside
Allowed me to give you my affection
Allowed me to love you
And you gave your measure in return
You made me feel wanted
In a world that didn’t
You asked nothing in return
No other condition than to treat you nice
I always did
How can someone hurt
An angel in disguise?
In all the forms you took
You were everywhere I went
To this day
When I see you
I have an overwhelming desire
To approach
To love on you some more
You are near me now
Everyday
You know when I am sad
And happy to be with me
We walk together
I talk to you
The eternal optimist
You will always be
My dearest friend
Whose love is perfect
Even if it is only for a brief moment in time
The stray cat
The dog next door
The horse in the field
Or that goat in the vacant lot
My many cats
And my one perfect dog
To the uncountable number of animals
Who have allowed me
To pet them
You always make me feel good
You saved me
From a lonely childhood
You gave me hope
That someday I would be loved
Allowed me to experience
What true love is
Thank you
My Angels in disguise