Prayer beads got me sticking to the thickets and the trees hella lurking and occasionally ******* in the reeds

insolently indescrete I'm whisper yelling when I creep
About the voices, your beliefs, the **** you get from smoking ****

Best case you'll express some discontent with me and not just disregard opinions that I incidentally speak
Shtok Slicha, Sheket bevakasha
Admit you're secular cause Christmas is better than hannukah
Till all you Muppet *** ******* get whipped with a Yamaka

...doo
        do
            do
               do,
                     Mahnahmahnah

I still remember that day we met in December
The 19th
I was 16 but held your hand and felt an ember
Talking bout the boy she just dumped that tried to ******* end her
We moved pretty fast but that's how we felt about eachother
Insecurities I always thought you had another
always texted eachother
When we weren't together, or she was hiding from her brother
All the things you want to hear and all the little lies
Yeah you're the biggest no, yeah I cut ties (with a hitman)
I felt a feeling that I never felt, I was yours, you were mine
But when you took my virginity  
I fell so hard in love I didn't think I could recover
Sneaking in and out the window
Sleeping with eachother
And when my mom came in the room you'd hide under the covers
But you couldn't handle life and brought it all to me
**** we made a suicide pact for something like 23
And in that parking lot when you told me your plans
I thought it was either leave or have my lovers blood on my hands
But I went along with it, I got completely hooked
And from that point on my brain was cooked
I hated life too the feelings all my life that I couldn't put a name to
The reasons why I bring my family shame too


When the time came I foolishly thought we were past it
Brought some friends to your party
brought some drugs wrapped up in the plastic
It was okay for a while til she started going manic
Dressed like a loli I wasn't pleased but she
started going frantic
Locked the doors and slit her wrists
Frankly it was traumatizing not to mention dramatic.
Broke the door down (multiple times)
and had to clear the house (30 people getting ****** up)
They vandalized your windows and your cupboards while you were out and my momma came to save us bless her soul and bless her heart

Brought you home and loved you, you were my little mouse
And bandaged up your wrists and had you stay over at my house
Slept together held your hands everything was wonderful then you finally came to
And for a minute again everything was colorful
from head to toe about you.
We dropped you back off and cleaned out some of the mess
Til we decided you should shower and get  properly dressed
Cuddled together for a little while with our bodies pressed
I could tell something was wrong you wouldn't even give a smile
That's when you said you never loved me
I was in total denial
She got my **** and kicked me out and said I was fun for my purpose
**** denial my brain was just going through a circus
Got my **** and threw it by the door
I said I wanted one last kiss before...


I sat and thought for a minute
Called me friend bless him too
There was something wrong we agree we just knew
Knocking on every window and calling every number
Until I called the cops to save your ***
Before I heard the thunder
Broke down the door I'm still sorry about that
And found you bleeding in a tub with pills neatly on a mat
Cops questioning me how things could have possibly gotten so bad

You wouldn't let me visit for a few days in the hospital
That was fine, I needed just a minute to collect my thoughts and my mind
Everyone was saying JUST END IT dont give in it's a decline
I knew it's true but teenage love had me in a bind
And that was just the beginning, we made up with lots of crying
And a promise I'm that hospital bed to be together til the end of time


That was when you introduced me to drugs and drinking fine
I'm my own man I should have taken responsibility instead of fixating on dyjng
But now I could only talk after a line or two of m to stop the crying
It took a little time and a couch to work up to it
By then we could blow an 8 ball and still be far from done with it
I was turning 17 when you were turning 21
God I'm such an idiot the things I could have done

Argue all the time, end up ******* while we're crying
Every day the thought is there a fixationon dying
I had my own attempts but sadly every time I turned out fine
I'm not a total idiot I could see the signs
But when I went to get your tattoos with you
I thought we're fine
I hope that you remember me every single time

Thought we found the perfect one running through the grass
Until we ended in the reeds and landing on our ***
And as the grass grew there was less
frolicking
Everything changed to sheltered bottling
Then we spent a couple.. few months in the bedroom
Locked away drinking all our goals friends away
And my psych asks me how I turned out this way
I guess the tables turned on me I turned 18 and she grew up and didn't really want to be with me since because I wasn't the man that she envisioned when she got with me (years ago)
I begged and pleaded played ***** cheated
Proved my love
worked a while
Until your heart finally receded

And when you finally broke my heart and came to get your stuff
You said I looked like a pirate and right there I  should have given it up
But the anger and the sadness gave me a reason for the madness
An excuse to numb the pain and give in to some helpful crashes
That's right there's new rules it's cool if it's helping you to get through

I'm not blaming you I still love you despite my last drunken fissures
I wish I could see your face and talk not just Flober facebook pictures
Outside that McDonald's years later
you waited for my break
I was so scared that I was still shaking from from the heartbreak
Played it off as anger but I wish kissed your **** face

I know we'll probably never talk again and that's okay.
Everyone has hated me for drunken things I say
But I'm glad I saved your life even if you won't talk to me
Because that shaped me entire personality

It's the same every day I'm a groundhog
Time to get to racing
but I'm shaking when I'm waking
Feeling sober but Its almost noon
can't remember what I've taken
What a cycle what fun
Until you're entire bodies aching
And you're wading through a pool of sweat
Quiet nodding in and out and hear the voices fading
You know exactly what they're saying smarten up and start praying
Alcoholics tell me I'm anonymous
And to act the way they say to me
Just another day another hour count the minutes til graces me


Not another dose another ** is gonna save me
Not some new clothes couple bros couldn't change me
Work yourself to death try make a lot of money
For shelter, warmth, for something in your tummy
Then for the real warmth seeping in your tummy It's a traditional leftover from
The latin liquor bunny
He's like the Easter kind, just got one thing on his mind
Except he comes every day
feed your body and mind  
It's all fine it's all fine
Except I basically got brined
Head and body now I'm dyin
Wouldn't change it for the world, couldn't change my mind

Serving up some Chinese, with the chopsticks
swervin with some buckled knees, like I'm hot ****
mental back and forth jeez, I am not this

aw **** uh
tight black jeans, spiked red crocs
pleasures of the flesh, servin mommy big rocks
maybe we don't mesh, get your little brother shot
blow him out his Tommy socks he brought a Glock I brought my ****

double bands, money knot
shooters aiming at your spot
make em twirl and make em drop
make em do the Bunny Hop
pop pop hop hop
make em run I moonwalk
try it with the smooth talk
make your bed with white chalk
****** nose I'm Rudolph
snowy sleigh and flew off
say your piece get booed off
get your melon blew off
****

Silver linings of corona ***** I always got a mask
12 get curious they watch always watch me from the back
Never catch me sober carry flask after lask
And when the pills hit time to take em all to task

They say I look ****** with of little of nord
but when I tell em I'm from space the corrections' ignored

come up onto Pluto I will show you my village
and all the things we do and say just to get the right image
so you crackers couldn't see me like my name was white privilege

drop in words thugs like and you the best in they mind
and so the references are effortlessly poppin like 9's
Holy **** that was hard to say
not as silver tongued as the words portray
but I stay I lurking a hostile way and leave your mind in more pieces than a hostel stay

I don't write for fun I just do it when I'm flustered
got too many words you can tell it when I bluster
y'all always wanna know and ask what I'm upter
Mackin in the back of a truck drinkin rubber
basking in the warmth of an ounce and your mother
I do it fuckereggishly and never heard of that word? it means in the manner of Gabe, it's an adverb

Welcome
Home
*****
How was your trip?
Hope you had a good fall
Like at the grocery store when you fell on on your *** ****** broke your hip
It was especially good because we all
Saw. You. Slip
Wasn't that funny?
Welcome home hunny
Look at our garden
Gonna ****** shoot those bunnies
I gotta lot of plants and I love them all equally
More than my husband who I'm killing with indecency
I might always be this way but I found a cure cause recently
I've been smoking grass and taking oils to live peacefully
And argue to the death anyone who disagrees with me
Then share my good ideas and share my good ideas and share my good ideas and share my go--
or you blow your brains out from a lecture at an undetectable frequency
And if you point out anything like ******* you're just mean to me
I'll live off gin and Juice and little bits of meat and cheese
Jesus don't get me started on defunding the police
The blacks and injuns just don't know how to live since they've been freed
Have you seen their reservation? They're pathetic but the worst are all the chiefs
What else could you expect? let it be, It's just a fresian thing it's part of me

I got my favorite motto from a little avacado
Green is good, brown is bad, the pit is hard to swallow
We can drown in bottles
The good Snows' always yellow
And my Molly's always coddled
Got a Tab at the bar so I went home and thought I dawdled
Woke up hulking in a schoolbus dropped the wheel and hit the throttle
they ask me why I am the way that I am, aristotle
I reply why the ***** the world have to be so monochrome and awful?
And we just lie to ourselves, that what we find in this hell
Makes all the suffering that we endure all worthwhile well
**** that
Before you kiill yourself
they say call me up
it's 1 800
No one gives give a ****

I guess my name is Fentyn
And I'm here to **** you all
Head to toe in xannies I don't give a **** at all
I'm coming for your grannies all your underpaid nannies
But first I'll **** your life up bet on every nook and cranny
made a couple asian friends their eyes are always slanting
But now from where you're standing I can do a some more enchanting
Now your boys suckin **** and your girl is dropping *******
This could have been avoided with a tiny bit of planning
It's almost rock bottom now you're panting when you're ranting
You're just another grain or two from hearing angels chanting
If it's death you're really after I'm then pretty close to granting
Just be prepared for landing

Come and meet my friends
Come and meet my friends
The only ones I know who'll be around until the end
They're all I've ever known and the bond has only grown
Look for my obituary, 23, unknown

I'm a little alcohol
Here for good times
And when you sober up its gone
Then you'll know you're mine
When we hang I'm feeling fine
But when you leave I can't ignore the tingle in my spine
A little longer and it hits my face and fingers but I'm fine
Except now I'm seizing and alone but this isn't how I'm dying
No one to reach if I could reach my phone but man I'm trying
Try to change it all you want man our fates are  intertwining
Face it you'll be buried with a fifth of scotch and red wine
Then when you're feeling like the grapes hanging on the vine
Bleed out internally or be a *****
bring a nine to the pines

Come and meet my friends
Come and meet my friends
The only ones I know who'll be around until the end
They're all I've ever known and the bond has only grown
Look for my obituary, 23, unknown

I'm a little doctor, short and stout
Here are your pills, now get the **** out
When I get all steamed up hear me about
Jesus ******* **** me please I really just want out
Swallow the medicine smoke synonyms get the venom in
Bring your inner felon in, it's not a matter of melanin
It's a matter of dosing before you blow your melon in
Wake up with regret take half and try to sell them then
Use the rest on dope and rent and pay them off in 5s and 10s
Visions so blurry think you're paying out in yen
Get some sleep, I'll be here, we can do it all again

Ahem
I can talk about it because it's okay we're all friends here right?
Love you guys til the end