My back parallel to the ground
as my nerves and vessels in my head swell.
Puffed eyelids shut gently,
my fingers shiver.
Heavy heart beats with a stagnant beat,
tears flushing down like a waterfall..
forming puddles on my collar bone
before drowning me into a pool
of melancholy and despair.

**Wondering what's in store for me tomorrow,
only if it comes..

I think about you a lot.
I think about how badly you hurt me, but mostly how much I miss you.
I miss your stupid laugh.
I miss your stupid voice.
I miss your stupid singing.
I miss your stupid stories.
I miss your stupid drawings.
I miss your sarcasm.
I miss your ******* attitude.
I miss those random 3am phone calls that consisted of me complaining about how tired I was and you annoying the **** out of me to stay awake.
I miss calling you ten times when you were dead asleep just so I could fall asleep with you.
I miss hearing you breathe on the other end of the phone, whispering sweet "I love you's" in your sleep.
I miss our stupid conversations that made me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt.
I miss our talks about the universe even though you told me how cliche my ideas were.
I miss hearing about how your day went and how the only thing that got you through the day was knowing that I was there.
I miss our ridiculous arguments.
I miss how you could make me feel better with a simple "I'm here baby" when it felt like the world around me was going to collapse.
I miss how you made me feel weightless.
I miss hearing your plans about your future and subtly hinting that I was the one you wanted to spend your life with.
I miss everything.

B.S.

"How Are You?"
BROKEN.USELESS.ALONE.
CLUELESS.FUSED.
BETRAYED.FRAGILE.DEPR­ESSED.
ANXIOUS.
PATHETIC.DEFEATED.NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.
BITTER.CRUSHED.NOTHING.

"Fine"