I am not a whimsical snowflake amidst the wind's wintry voyage.
I am not the drop of dew on a morning's budding flower.
I am the pebble that sits at the bottom of the pond that got skipped a long time ago.
I am the lonely owl that cries out in the night and holds the darkness upon its wings.
I am not the nostalgic initials carved in the tree between two lovers,
But the knife that put them there.
I am the memory of what's lost and the conclusion that it's time to go.
I am not the pen but I'm black as it's ink and I write what I am.
I am not a summer's day,
I am an autumn's evening.
I am the bleak December.
I am the crunch of snow under your boots.
I am not the smell of rain but I am the hole in the ground that forms a puddle.
I am not the silvery glimpse of a spider web caught in the sunlight shining through an attic window.
I am the dust.
I am the broken mirror and the trunk of old photos of happier times.
I am not the caffeinated warm smell of coffee in the morning.
I am the ***** newspaper that got left in the ditch no one cared to pick up.
I am not the fresh baked bread.
I am not even the wine, just the stains left on the sheets.
I am the taste of blood on chapped lips.
I am not the dim glow of candle light.
I am not the waves of the canal refracting the city lights.
I am not the butterfly.
I am the cocoon.
I am not the poem.
I am the poet.

I can sit here and try to calculate every encounter
I've ever had with you
and subtract the pros from each passionate kiss
and multiply the cons by your silence
squaring it all by the outcome
and still be left
with nothing.

I divided you by zero
and created an error in the equation.
Math has never been
my strong point.

Even if I'm not supposed to love you,
I still love the little things,
The memories you leave me with,
Soft unsure kissing
Becoming passionate, I missed this,
lips crashing
Into waves of ecstasy,
You're a volcano erupting
And I stand in the red hot heat of you,
Your sweat,
My longing,
I melt,
As we caress each other
Absorbing every touch and taste,
Knowing it won't last,
So sweet,
So fond,
I am just a little fish in your big pond,
And you,
A shark in my small one,
But I realize
I am also the rain
That fills it.

I became air.

I always feel so strange returning from that place. It takes me a while to bring myself back....

The chaos is static.
White noise stretching
Throughout the world.
We are the silent moments
Between the chaos.
This is why being with you
Is so precious to me.
I cling to the hope of you
Stopping the noise
Stopping the world
Stopping me
And I love
The silence....

I always feel so strange coming back from that place. It takes me a while to get reacquainted with the chaos.

Missing you to death is chaos.

I miss you so much it hurts my soul.
I miss you so much
I cease to exist some days.
I miss you so much I can't focus.
I'm not really here.
I breathed you in
And I became air.

I watch the dust scatter in the sun
How it shines in the light
And disappears in the dark
I see my grandmother
Approaching death like a burnt out star
We touch hands
Her grip strong for someone so feeble
Always fighting
So tired
I kiss her warn out flesh
And nuzzle my warmth into her bones
I watch her smile softly and close her eyes
Death is approaching like a runaway train
Unpredictable
Unavoidable
Undeniably doomed by what we all fear
I am reminded yet again to live
Before I die

I inhaled the space
between the constellations
Breathed in
the stars
Tiny molecules
of shimmering particles
and flesh
where the universe is
bent

We are made of star dust
You and I
Stellar beings
in an unknown galaxy

You inhaled the space
between my eyes
my lips
A soft sadness
you wouldn't see
A heavy heart
you couldn't hold

We went up in smoke
and I came down in meteor showers
shooting across
your sky

The weather changed today,
it went from sunshine to rain.

That wasn't the only thing that changed today,
your mind was second on that list.
It went from yes to no,
from hot to cold,
from I love you to goodbye.

The weather and your mind weren't the only things that changed today,
I was third on the list.
I went from weak to strong,
from sad to happy.
I changed today with the weather.
I went from lost to found.