Lightheaded
My heart tearing up my chest
Sweating
My stomach throbbing
Overthinking
Memories
P
A
N
I
C
A
T
T
A
C
K
I can’t cry here
I can’t throw up playing a clarinet
So I run
to the bathroom
And I start dry heaving
Until tears flow
And I can’t control myself
But I only have a minute
To get ahold of myself
And
To make sure it looks like I didn’t
just lose my emotions
God, I hate this
I hate my facades
I’m not truly okay half the time
I just act happy
Because I
HATE
It when people worry about me
I’m not worthy of love
Not yet that is
I need to learn to love myself
Before I can love anyone else
But
I hate this facade
That I’ve made for myself
I’m sorry..
I love panicattacks and ptsd in the morning :))))