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Weeping widow
deyrah Mar 2021
Weeping widow
Feeling the warmth of the sun.
Cold winter air, giving you goosebumps.

Scattered amongst the water bed.
Even in the singing of trees.
You exist everywhere but in me.

Original canvases that a painter would die for.
You... They call you; pure, nice, beautiful, awesome, yin and yang, chakra, mana, force, light vain, ki.
But widely you're known as "life"

We we're close together, you and i
But now people only talk about me, when you give up on them.

But it's fine, at least after they spend the little time they have with you.
I embrace them forever.
Continue reading...
Well, well, we...
deyrah Feb 2022
Well, well, we...
To an unbeliever, who believes in the things that everyone thinks unbelievable.
I see you staring.
At me, but in trance...
To the boy who constantly thinks that if he gives me enough time and attention, he could have priority with me!
To the world that judged me before i even stepped into it.
To society that tells you what to be
But not how to be it.
To religion who thinks I'm sinful for not doing the needful,
In their own way.
To the hypocrite in me who tries to socialize, even though I'm an "antisocial" introvert.
Well, well, well...
Look at me now, I'm ruining all your expectations of me!
Continue reading...
We're not who we seem!
deyrah Sep 2020
We're not who we seem!
All our pain is covered, by laughter.
Our tears has turned into cold sweat.
But our smile...
Our smile would give a happy person
Low self esteem!
It's not pretending...
It's a way of living, not letting life beat yhu down!
#life #pain
Continue reading...
Were you there for me??
deyrah Sep 2021
Were you there for me??
Without remorse...
I have danced with the feeling of neglect, and toyed with self pressure over others, on what they could perceive me to become.

I slowly become what I'm not.
And lose sense of self, daily, now I've prided myself with failure, as it has become the only thing constant in my life.
I want to move forward, but i do not know the way.
My thoughts betray me, as I'm an over-thinker, on... Well "everything"
I die while living, now my future has been placed on hold.
And now my present, presents me with constant responsibilities.
I think l, I'm beginning to hate my life.
Surrounded by lots of people.
Yet i feel, utter loneliness.
Continue reading...
What about her??
deyrah Jan 2023
What about her??
Oh beautiful boy in denial...
Would you continue to hurt other girls??
Would you lie about your feelings??
Will you still put a smirk on your face, when she presses the cold razor blade on her skin, and watch it sink deep into her veins,
There as she bleeds out and think.
"I thought he was mine alone"
Call it stupid of her, but not everyone deals with hurt the right way.
Oh, there's no right way to deal with hurt.
Oh lover boy...
Would you continue to abuse the word
"Love"!?
How many girls will that lie confuse until you're satisfied.
Then your own daughter!!
What about her!??
When someone as good or worse than you come for her.
What would you say?? Will she make pain her friend, or will she use a sharp blade to meet her end??
What about your daughter?? What about her??
Continue reading...
What a lifetime to exist
deyrah Apr 15
What a lifetime to exist
Well...
It's not fair, and I know he's our maker, but it's not fair!
I'm jealous that he made you and saw you before me!
I'm jealous that you talk to God more than me!
I don't mean any blaspheming, but I want to be omnipresent to your eyes.
Through your eyes, you may see me as God!
I'm jealous that the first words you uttered weren't my name, you see I like how you call my name, how the letters roll down your tongue.
I'm jealous of myself for not seeing you nearly enough!
I'm jealous your mum spent more time with you before you existed!
I'm jealous that other men come up to you, I mean look at you!
Oh the sun rays, the brittle gentle touch of the wind on your skin, I'm even jealous that you touch your body more than I do!
I'm so jealous...
Continue reading...
What if??
deyrah Mar 2020
What if??
What if i said...
That i could have enough love for the both of us.
That You wouldn't have to do anything!
Would you still leave??
Continue reading...
What_if
deyrah Aug 2020
What_if
What if i said i could raise the dead??
What if i said i could take your pain away??
What if i could help the angels carry your blessings for you.
What if i could answer all your prayers.
What if i could end your nights??
What if i could be in your dreams.
Make your nightmares, just mare nights.
What if...
What if i said i loved you.
Would you come to love me back?
What if i died for you??
Would all your sins fade away??
What if i was god, would you pray to me?
    ...No love here...
#despair #desperate
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What is life without you
deyrah Jan 15
What is life without you
I'm certain now that I'm here
I haven't made a mistake, at least not one I'm aware!
Smart people don't fall in love, not really!
So call me stupid for trying to die with you...
I love you stupidly, I love you egotistically, I love you sentimentally.

If I should live, you'd have to be in it, if I live while you die, I'd be incomplete with a hole.
It'll sting and endlessly burn like brimstone and coal
So let me die with you, I'd rather be wholesome with you in death, than be empty in a life where you don't exist!

Let us complete each other in the absence of life!
I love you even in death
I love the way we'll die close to each other.
Continue reading...
What is this??
deyrah Sep 2019
What is this??
I'm Awake...
Wait, is this a dream??
Oh!! i must be awake.
So... I'm awake!!
Wait, am i awake??
Continue reading...
What is this??
deyrah Jul 2021
What is this??
I can't remember what I'm here for
I only feel heartbroken, listening to love songs.
I only get lonely, when I'm around people.
I feel disgust, when i fall in love.

When all the love is doubtful...
Life becomes a state of suspended animation.
I start to think...
Maybe I'm an irony, to all things good.
Continue reading...
What's lost, was found! Then gone
deyrah Aug 2019
What's lost, was found! Then gone
As he gazed up to the sky...
He discovered, that he has only ever been looking at t, and not seeing t.
He wept...
Things we take for granted...
Continue reading...
What TF-vert is this??
deyrah Nov 2022
What TF-vert is this??
I want to go out...
Wish I had extra energy to hang out.
My comfort, my sweet bed
The softness that makes me forget I've got work to do.

I want to go out...
Hehe, go out to what??
Do you see the people out there??
There are out there so I can be in here
I do not belong with the "Extros"
I wonder how they feel when they go out of their comfort zone.
Nah, I don't, I don't even care how they feel.
I want to scream some days, but I'm too lazy to open my mouth and let sounds out, so I just... "Meh" the day away!

I want to go out...
I need me a vacation, a super occasion
One that takes away validation of an "intro"
But there are perverts out there, and they'll intrude in my "vert"
Why should I go out to meet the outside people when they won't come inside, I don't even want them inside.
I'm not confused, maybe just a little bit.
But please, don't call me out. I'll hate you 🙂
I wannnnnt to go out!
And so the days go by, and I've only gone out in my head.
Continue reading...
What we should know but don't
deyrah May 2023
What we should know but don't
Slowly the rumors, when talked about enough... Would start to be the truth.
The truth would try to prove itself, but would start sounding like a lie.
A lie whose value is dying, would start to work extra ******* itself...
Then instead of renovation, we'll keep breaking down this world.
It's messy and messed up
Continue reading...
Who??
deyrah Oct 2021
Who??
I am that which can see, but is unseen, by those that see!
I am the cute bunny covered in dust, left by the toddler, who's now a teenager.
I am the wall, built around Jericho.
Yet i fall with a shout.
I am the one who decides, yet I'm the choice yhu cannot choose.
I am the un-loved, for those who crave love to look upon, yet i don't deserve love.
I provide joy for the faint of hearts, and uplift the depressed.
Yet I'm in solitude, having conversations, with my taciturn mind.
I am the ghost who is haunted by the living.
I fear, that one day...
I'll be forgotten.
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Who am i??
deyrah Oct 2019
Who am i??
I know, that i am broken.
I know yhu can't fix me, just as the way hello poetry wouldn't fix their server lags.
Maybe I'm not really broken...
But the way yhu look at me.
That shatters me!!
When someone makes yhu feel stupid, and like a worthless person, but they still keep yhu around, cause they want a reference point.
#broken #heartbreak #pain #tears
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Why??
deyrah Nov 2019
Why??
She was beautiful when yhu met her.
Now her face is all blue, and scars inner.
She had a gorgeous eyes that sees through crystal.
Now there's a patch of blood on the left eye.
Her smile was like the sunset, before a red moon.
Now, yhu have slapped away the nerve that controls the smile.
I'm no doctor.
But i think she's suffering from a "you syndrome"
Why abuse what yhu claim to love??
#abuse
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Why??
deyrah Nov 2019
Why??
Why do you keep, showing up in my life.
Like a bad habit?
#sad
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Why not??
deyrah Sep 2019
Why not??
Maybe we need to fall in love...
So we can know pain.
I've been thinking quite alot, about how those two words have nothing to dobwith each other, yet they end up together...
"Pain and Love"
#love #pain
Continue reading...
WISHES
deyrah Jul 2019
WISHES
If wishes were horses, than i hope yhu ride and never come back, move away and never turn back. If wishes were horses I'll ride to the land where there z no yhu, and catch a flu. If wishes were horses, i hope yhu ride to yhur own doom. I hope yhu get neglected like yhu did me and scatter like a bunch of broom, if wishes were horse i hope yhu never get to ride! If wishes were horses i should ride away from yhu and everything yhu stand for. If wishes were horse I'd wish for yhu to meet someone who will treat yhu the exact same way yhu did me, and drench yhu in an unending agony, so yhu can know nothingness. If wishes were horses I'll ride into the past and take yhur ability to wish! If wishes were horse I'd hope yhu ride, turn and twitch! If wishes were horses, i pray yhu ride out of yhur happiness and bump into this pain yhu left behind while taking this route... If wishes were horses i hope yhu ride into the wish that'll undo the wish i made, for yhu to be mine. If wishes were horse I'd like to make an empty wish and just let the horse roam free! And because of yhu... If wishes were horses...
   I'll **** my horse! So i may never ride again, or wish! Cause anything right now, z better than yhu!
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Woa, I'm a Hoe!
deyrah Jul 2021
Woa, I'm a ***!
I've discovered, most often than none.
That, I'm a ***, a desperate ***.
I immerse myself in a consistent situation, where I'm not even consistent, with my consistency.

I'm a ***** for the things, i go back to, on different intervals, never sticking to a decision made.

I ******* myself to irrelevances, and deviate from my goals.
I procrastinate my soul, and i'm frolicking with time, that i do not have.
I often wonder, what else would i be...
If not this!??
But at least, I'm no hypocrite, and I'm true to myself. I'm a proud ***, and i, won't pretend to be good, just so the world wouldn't judge me!
I'm a ***!
Continue reading...
Would it kill yhu??
deyrah Dec 2019
Would it **** yhu??
Tell her she's beautiful...
Do things yhu used to do with her when yhu started fresh with her.
Correct her in a calm and subtile way.
Reassure her, tell her how important she is.
Tell her yhur world without her in t, would be like the first verse and chapter of Genesis.
Even times, when she's falling... Remind her of how strong she is, do not give up on her.
She's really special. Would t **** yhu to let her know that, no matter how annoying she is, i mean. No matter how annoying. Sometimes she might drive to to the edge, but she needs to hear yhu say those words.
#to all the wives, widows, mothers and girlfriends.
Hang in there, we see yhu!
#we see yhur efforts, and we appreciate!
#women
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X.X.X
deyrah Aug 2019
X.X.X
Cold hands, sweats flying over, touching the bed, struggling with the lack of air, and with the absolute want for yhu to let me go. I mean, i should have seen this coming...
But one's never prepared for something like this, yhu stained the sheets, with the struggles yhu put on, just so yhu could put t in. Yhu turned taciturn to my pleas and tears, yhu took me over, and over again. Till t wasn't a tease, why?? Z what i kept asking in my mind. I really wanted to tell someone, but who'd believe me??
*#****
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Yes!!
deyrah Mar 2021
Yes!!
Yes i could have been a better person
But this is the path i chose.
Yes, I'm an introvert... And an introvert amongst introverts.
They say, "face your fears" but that's why i never look at my reflection.
Yes I'm a loner, what's wrong with it?
Yes, I don't believe in love...
Yes, i don't deserve love, but love me
Ah yes, i like to live.
But i prefer the joy of nothingness,
Like the waves lulling itself on a rock at the sea shores.
Yes I'm a poet. But my ink is red.

Yes!
Continue reading...
yes!! I said it
deyrah Nov 2019
yes!! I said it
Don't be fooled please...
Romeo and Juliet wasn't a romantic story.
It ended in tears...
Just like where we are headed!
#tears #heartbreak
Continue reading...
You
deyrah Nov 2022
You
If mood swings were someone, it'd be you.
I bet if forensics dust my heart, they'd find your prints.
In a song with the worse lyrics, I think of you... I think of how if you were mentioned in the song it would've sounded better.
I think of you when I see a night without starts.
I think to myself, "what if you were here, maybe the starts would come out"
I think of you when I see you, cause I want to see you ever time and all the you(s) that you hide under that smile.
Whenever I think about a smile, I picture yours
It spreads in my head like colors dancing on a canvas.
When I think of canvases I see your reflection.
When I think about reflections, I picture your silhouette living like a parasite in my memory.
When I reminisce about memories, all I see is our hands locked, and you separating them, just so you can come closer.
When I see people becoming closer, I wonder if we could become even closer than that.
That! That time where I was in my own world until you saw me, saw who I really am.
Am I still the one for you, I often wonder while yhu're on me...
And I'm under!
#loveslonely
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You're nothing!
deyrah Aug 2020
You're nothing!
They are not busy.
You're just, not that important!
You're not a priority!
Don't let people fool you, people who suddenly say... "I'm too busy these days"
Nah, that's trash... Yhu're not worth much to e'm!
#busy #people
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