it is much more than a mystery or drama
how we seem to always meet between dawn and noon
here on the white paper plains

it is more than my dreams and yours how you look
so much like Godiva to me
to you I
may be Rasputin

for I fairly wonder how you look clothed
and not giving your deepest thoughts
to anyone meandering by.

I must seem like the Hunchback in a
cathedral to you. Brash hunched words
loud and medieval.

Or a King with no castle, nor clothes.
No diamonds to hang on your pretty head.
No knight to protect you.

But, we still meet here, by fate or design,
and so in chance not to break the spell,
and tomorrow you might not be here,

I will just go on.

i miss the "talking stage"
i miss having butterflies from seeing you across the room
i miss the sideward glances
i miss blushing from feeling your eyes on me
i miss the flirting
i miss trying to get you to like me
i miss losing sleep just so i could talk to you
i miss being able to say goodnight
i miss falling in love
but the talking stage turned into dating and i finally had all that i never knew i would
but for you the butterflies began to die, you wouldn't glance at me anymore, you stopped flirting, you went to bed without sayin goodnight, you stopped falling in love
and now my butterflies have turned into snakes that eat me from the inside out
you don't look at me at all any more
you stopped smiling at me altogether
i don't blush
im still losing sleep but not so i can talk to you but because you haven't said goodnight
no, you said goodbye, you said goodbye a long time ago and you haven't said hello since.
goodnight, sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite, i love you.

I am fruit snacks and dragon tales.
I am trips to the Cape and tan lines.
I am country music and pearl earrings.
I am black raspberry ice cream and late night drives.
I am yoga at noon and apple picking in the fall.
I am Loud.
I am Loved.
I am Alive.

I am 16
And I have found love in a
boy who is 5 years older than me.
He tells me he loves me and I
lose myself in him.
He breaks my heart, twice.
We still keep in touch.

I am 20
I have found love in a girl
with curly blonde hair and eyes
like the sea. She holds my hand
and sings to me, kisses my forehead.
We haven't spoken in a year.

I am 21
I think I have found love.
He doesn't acknowledge what we
are in public and he thinks insulting
me is funny. He kisses me like he loves me
though, so I tell myself it's enough.
He moved miles away; I think he was
just as lonely as I was.

I am 22*
She's the one. Her hair is never
the same color and sometimes
she laughs too loud. She has scars
that she regrets, but she's doing
everything she can to keep going.
She is me, and I am in love.

thursday came  and it was autumn again
green ran to where summer went
yellow and crimson orange grey
covered the world in colder winds
midday on thursday that day of bitterness
the sun burst through  intermittently
making autumn look beautiful
and down fluttered
the prettiest gold leaf
landed right beside me
said hello
I stuttered but
a leaf is mute
the tree that sent her to me said
no,
you are just out of tune.
Keeping time with
the old tree I rhymed
anew heard rhythm  
playing on autumns breeze.
I woke up then to
see, I had fallen fast asleep and it was winter.