I could be jealous by the way he looks at her
Or how his hand is on the small of her back
She laughs into his chest and he breathes her in
And I’m frozen in a corner on the other side of the room

I was invited to this party by a friend of a friend
Not knowing he would be here with her
He brushes her hair back and she smiles
And I’m stuck in a corner on the other side of the room

I could be angry with him for what happened
Or how he never thought to tell me about her
She looks into his eyes and he looks back
And I’m glued to a corner on the other side of the room

I came to this house to get drunk on a Friday night
Not knowing how seeing him again would affect me
He turns his head and he sees me
And I’m paralyzed in a corner on the other side of the room

I could go up and casually talk to both of them
Or flash a smile in both of their general directions
She whispers in his ear and he points at me
And I’m frozen in a corner on the other side of the room

I know by this point she must know who I am
Not knowing how he told me he loved me
She looks angry and he holds her hand
And I’m stuck in a corner on the other side of the room

I could be happy he eventually chose her instead of me
Or delete the texts I still get in the dead of night from him
She lets go of his hand and he sighs
And I’m glued to a corner on the other side of the room

I should leave this party and walk away forever
Not knowing this affair would have ruined us both
She starts to walk towards me and he follows
But I’m paralyzed in a corner on the other side of the room

Your love was a big lie

Full of promises

And crippled with shortcomings

Beaten down by pretty words

Shattered by desire



It felt warm to the touch

But underneath the surface

Was cold and unflinching

Only revealed to me

After everything was said and done



Your love was a heavy load

Weighing me down

And settling on my chest

Breaking every fragile rib

Until I could no longer breathe



It felt soft to the touch

But underneath the surface

Was sharp and treacherous

I only figured it out

After I was covered in blood



Your love was a fleeting moment

A breakneck affair

With no time to hesitate

You were here and then gone

Blowing my hair in your leftover wind



It felt lovely to the touch

But underneath the surface

Was ugly and vicious

Only discovering the truth

When it was too late



Your love was a big lie

A heavy load

A fleeting moment

A love that on the surface

Was warm, and soft, and lovely

But when I finally uncovered all your falsities

I couldn’t even stand to look at the man

I had fallen for.

I ran out of breath,
Trying to chase
Happiness.

Maybe you said it once
And breathed it quietly in my ear
As we sat in your freezing car
Parked in front of the library
The roads were slick
But you were slicker
Handing out compliments like candy

Maybe you said it a couple of times
Over and over on the telephone
As we both laughed into the receiver
Me picturing your smile with every word
The connection was weak
But I was weaker
Falling head first into you

Maybe you said it a thousand times
And held my face in your hands
As we laid in that twin sized bed
Your body pressed against my own
The room was warm
But you were warmer
Moving for the first time in sync

But maybe you never said it at all
Or at least you never meant it
As you said this was the last time
Standing on the other side of the room
The air was heavy
But I felt heavier
Fracturing me piece by piece

We tiptoed into the bathroom

Careful not to wake the others

And silently removed our clothes

They fell to the ground

Piece by piece

Your hands on me

Bit by bit



Your back pressed against the tile

As warm water poured over us

I ran my fingers through your hair

And let my hands fall

Shoulder to shoulder

Your mouth on mine

Lips to lips



The shower scene

Once, lovely and lively

Now, obtuse and obscene

A memory

Full of regret